I recently miscarried at 6 weeks, even though there wasnt a baby in the sac, I am so depressed,trying to be OK

Question

Everyone says stupid stuff like--It just wasnt meant to be, and There was something wrong with it, thats why it didnt survive,
and Are you OK?
No one really understands, thats why I like to ask questions here Because this has happened to so many women, and of course I feel alone--Thank you for all the advice, and kind words it REALLY does help.

Answer 1

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, and I know how you feel.

Right now you don't need logic. You don't need people trying to make you feel better.

My advice is to just grieve. Don't try to figure it out or rationalize it. Listen to yourself and what you needed.

I took up a new hobby and spent a LOT of time at an animal shelter. A month after the miscarriage, my husband and I took a minivacation and just talked about everything--our relationship, the miscarriage, etc.

Do things when YOU are ready to do things. When people say things like "It just wasn't meant to be" reply "I know, but right now that's not what I need to hear."

Answer 2

Oh cripes - I am so sorry for your loss. I have also just had a miscarriage at 10 weeks 5 days (this very week) and it hurts so bad and nothing anyone says to you will make it better. This is the worst thing that can happen to a couple.

I understand what you are going through but the profound grief I am feeling right now is probably quite different from your hurting and grieving. Everyone deals with this differently.

As for me, I am trying to get back to normality and going to see friends and family and doing things to take my mind off the baby we lost. This does help a little. I am also focusing on the future and for when we try for our next baby, although nothing will ever replace the baby we have just lost. It has helped to focus on this and is something to look forward to.

One thing I found very very helpful is that you need to acknowledge to yourself that this is not your fault. Nothing you did caused this. I was told that 5 our of 7 women will miscarry at some stage during their life - so you are definitely not alone. The chances of having a full term baby next time is very very good.

Good luck to you and I wish you all the best for feeling better soon.

Answer 3

I am so very sorry. There is so much pain in the loss of a baby, no matter how long their little heart was beating. Ask at your OB's office or your local hospital for a bereavement support group to help you work through your grief, and talk to other Mom's who understand your pain. Write about it; journal, journal, journal. And cry until you feel like you're finished. Plant some forget-me-not seeds in a special place to remember. And don't let anyone tell you there's a time table for your process, because there isn't. God bless.

Answer 4

From one woman who has miscarried to another, please accept my sympathy. People do not intend to be mean or stupid with their remarks, they just do not know what else to say to help console you. People should just say I'm sorry and is there anything I can do for you and leave it at that. Everyone goes through their own grieving process so just take it one day at a time. It took me a long time, but I tried to do my crying in private as I am a very private person with these types of feelings. It may have helped me to have gone to a support group to discuss with others in similar situation, so if you are up to it, I would suggest that. Again, I'm sorry.

Answer 5

Im gonna tell u like it is, u dont need to hear any of that crap like god had a reason, and i know how u feel and blah, blah, blah. I hated it when everyone told me all that junk, just makes u feel worse. i have miscarried too, but im not gonna DARE say i know how u feel because im NOT you, im not inside u. ur the only one that truly knows. what i can do is be a listening friend, not a talking friend because u just need someone to listen to what ur feeling and what ur grieveing. and ur not suppose to get over it or forget. u dont let it stop u from being mobile and having a life but its ok to still talk to it and say "momma loves you, or momma misses u and make ur own little prayers for him/her, i do it still. all my email and messenger info is public so please feel free anytime.

Answer 6

I'm sorry for your loss. even if there was no baby, there was the possibility of a baby, and you loved it already. the only thing that will help you heal is time, and take all you need. Look for a pegnancy loss support group. Every loss counts, and matters. God Bless you.

Answer 7

alot people dont know what to say......i know how you feel in oct 2006 and june 2007 i had to bury both of my kids that i went into premature labor for. and its very hard to watch your kids get put into the ground. i also had a miscarriage at 4 weeks in february. but i am sorry to hear about yours....god does it for a reason though i know you dont want to hear that but trust me

Answer 8

you'll be okay in your own due time. just take it day by day and you'll see that by distracting yourself that you'll forget about and even thought is hard to forget is better that you don't think about as often because it just makes you even more depressed.