when i was 16 years old I fell in love with the man i am currently having an emotional relationship with. we went out for four years, distance parted us and we never fell out of love we just stopped talking. He married his next girlfriend and they are now going to have there 2nd child together. When he was ready to ask for a divorce she told him she was pregnant. Now that she is pregnant he doesn't want to put her through all of that right now. I love him and I am willing to wait for him, but should I? Should I just stay away from him until he is divorced or seperated? My family says i am wrong for being in his life because they still live together, but i know he loves me.. i know that he is going to divorce her..so am i wrong?
2007-07-05 15:15:22 · 25 answers · asked by tacogirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you and him have a real connection, emotionally and spiritually, and you both care for each other as deeply as you imply, then he would understand if you have to live your life as you need to apart from him. He should want you to make some happiness for yourself. As hard as it sounds, it prob would be easier for everyone involved, in the long run, if you do stay away. ( voice of experience ) ... You can have satisfaction knowing there's someone out there you share those kinds of feelings with, and that, apparently, won't change....Eventually, if life puts you in a situation to be with him after he leaves, then you can pursue a relationship with a little bit of dignity, and a little less guilt. Maybe this isn't exactly the answer you want to hear, but you can preserve a lot of karma for you and him by showing a little restraint. Alot of things to take into account, alot of hearts involved here. This really isn't the time to be selfish, and it is hard when you feel this deeply. Just believe what's meant to be will be....
2007-07-05 16:13:36 · answer #1 · answered by soulcatcher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a good situation. The question you need to ask yourself is: Am I willing to be that woman? Do you want to be blamed for tearing this family apart? Even though he's "going to divorce her" - chances are you'll be blamed for the split. Can you still live with yourself after that? Plus, how do you know the same thing won't happen to you once you two are together? I know it seems like a movie and you want to get your happy ending...but in real life...things don't quite work out that way.
One thing that is for damn certain is that while he's still married, even seperated, you stay away from him.
You need to think long and hard before you enter this relationship. Red flags are going up everywhere.
2007-07-05 15:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by Shiksa Goddess 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Think how you would feel if you were the pregnant woman. You would be devastated if your man left you for someone else. Especially after having children. Stay away, let them work on it, if you refuse to be involved then he won't have anyone else to run to and most likely won't even divorce her. You continue this and you will be destroying the lives of 3 people. Do you want to take care of someone elses children? Karma is a ***** keep that in mind. Love is a hard thing sometimes, but I think you are very wrong to get involved.
2007-07-05 15:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation right now is a bit messy, first of all, why did you for this man knowing that his still married. Did you ask him why he pick you instead of talking to his wife?/ Most married men who says that they are not happy, or they stop talking to each others, and a lot more excuse will have this excuse to lure someone in, but because you thought he a bit older, and maybe more experience in bed, it doesn't mean that he is willing to leave his wife for you. You are his stand by girl when things doesn't goes right at home. If he really wants a divorce, he already file it but he didn't. and now his wife is pregnant again, why do you think she got pregnant, by just staying home or this man that you love is still loving his wife. Just think about it.
Don't wait for him, you deserve better than waiting for this married man.................
2007-07-05 19:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the grounds that he has made a life long decision and started a family Yes you need to back off. Unfortunately you and him did not make the family decision the first time you were together and now he needs to grow up and take responsibility for his decision. Can you truly be ok with yourself know you may have played a part in destroying not just his future, but that of his wife and 2 children. Second, let history speak for itself if he has changed his mind now and wants to swap partners whats going to happen to you when he changes his mind again, may never happen but then again do you really want to take that risk to be out there with a kid and no father.
2007-07-05 15:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sluth master 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong to become involved and fall in love with a married man. It is sad that you became estranged from your boyfriend--and then he married another girlfriend, but life is changed now. You are playing with fire and should stay away---are you so sure he will leave his wife someday for you? You may be wasting your time with a now emotional affair----find someone who is available--you might be in love with something or someone you cant have and would you want to be treated like you (both of you) are treating his wife????
If you "know" he is going to divorce her, then wait until his divorce is final, but this may never happen.
Walk away from this situation and away from a married man--leave him alone--do this for him and for yourself. Your affair is wrong.
2007-07-05 15:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by skyward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you wouldn't want him to do the same to you....
then yes, you are wrong.
How would you feel in this situation.
You may love him, but how could you ever be certain he won't do this to YOU too later, should you hook up?
He's proven he's not committed to his "committments".
I think he is wrong too, for staying with this woman, and cheating on her. Better to leave her alone and pregnant....
then pretend to be her supporter when he's really a fraud.
A house built on a shaky foundation will fall, Hon. It's happened over and over again in history. I think you know the answer in your heart. It just stinks that you had to fall for a married man. By the way, been there, done that...
and nobody wins, but everybody gets hurt.
2007-07-05 15:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need an answer? How about this:
Meet a man...
fall in love...
Get married...
Have kids;Two.
Now, let your husband leave you for an old flame that knew he was married, with kids, two, but didn't care.
I mean, it goes both ways. He is just as wrong as she is,but, how would you feel? After all, he did marry you before GOD, friends, and family... Not her. Your family is right and you know it, that's just not what you want to hear. So are you wrong? Of course not! And neither is karma.
2007-07-05 15:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you're wrong. He made a committment to another woman. He made another woman his wife and he had children with her. He has a family and you shouldn't be in his life. If he had wanted to be with you, distance would have never kept you apart. You need to leave him alone. Find a man of your own who's not married to someone else. Don't be a homewrecker!
2007-07-05 15:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wrong because of his wife/kids and yourself. Why would you want to put yourself through that or anyone else? If he cared about you then he would've left her, if he cared about her then there wouldn't be you.
Obviously this guy is a piece of crap. Move on and quit letting him play you like he did her before you end up like her, Married with kids and wondering what he's doing.
2007-07-05 15:19:19 · answer #10 · answered by ~Mother Of Angels~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋