how to improve my self esteem?

Question

Hi. I've been working with my self-esteem, I really have it low.
But I have found it difficult. Everytime I focus on this, I really get depressed and feel worse.

I read a book that says that one first needs to understand the whys of low-self esteem.... but everytime I do this i just feel totally worse, confused, and so on...

should I just move on, forget all this, try to improve my self esteem without really knowing the "whys" of it. Should I just start using the techniques to improve it without really thinking so much about it and without trying to understand the whys, and the stuff in my past?

Answer 1

Stop thinking about this belief of yours. The more you think and believe this, the worse it will be. Fake it, I mean how you would prefer it to be. Visualize how you would prefer it to be.
As soon as you sense a bad feeling, turn the other cheek and look at something which makes you feel good about yourself. Pet a kitten, that does wonders. Play with some children, the younger the better, they will be less programmed. Read up on the law of attraction. You have a birthright to be happy, healthy, and to flow love.

Answer 2

Hey XM, low self esteem does suck, but on the bright side it can be overcome. The reason why you might need to focus on the "whys" is just to avoid them, but therein lies the problem. Low self esteem and depression feed off each other, if you focus on the "whys" you get lower self esteem, then you get stuck in a depressive cycle. Its best to do a few simple things, firstly exercise, which is the body's natural self esteem booster (seriously, endorphins get released). Then there is positive distraction with things that do make you feel good, don't dwell on your negative feelings otherwise you will feed them. Finally a great way to boost self esteem is to talk to people, not about your self esteem, just general talk to people, it increases some of the four major needs belongingness, sense of control, perceived meaningful existence.

On a serious note though, it is always best to check out with a psychologist to make sure its not depression. Remember its ok to feel the way you do, its very natural and most people feel the same (there are few constantly cheery people, and they are too smug!!). Depression is the common cold of the psychological world, and should be treated but not worried about (i.e. its not fatal and can be overcome with a little perserverance).
One last suggestion is to try mindfullness meditation. Its the meditation developed for use in psychological therapies and has been proven to be very effective long term and short term for many things like depression and anxiety and low self esteem. Its basically meditation with all the mumbo jumbo stripped clear, no praying to multiple handed gods, no beliefs in anything necessary. I put a link to more info about that underneath

Answer 3

Self-esteem issues are often related to depression. I'd see a professional and have them chat with you and see if depression is a problem. The stuff in your past could definitely be problematic.

The way to increase your self-esteem is to do things of which you are proud. Picture yourself in an old-time Russian uniform. Right now you don't have many medals to hang. Press your uniform (look good) and set regular goals and meet them. There's a huge medal that says college graduation. And there's lots of little ones that say, helped little kid find mom, helped mom change tire, assumed leadership of high school group at church. Your self-esteem will grow as you give yourself things to be proud of.

Answer 4

Yes. It does not matter why. What matters is that you can help your self-esteem so it is better than that of most people. Read article on site below to help you with this plus ways to make it grow and grow.

You can be extremely happy. Below tells you that you are much more incredible than you can imagine.

Answer 5

you cannot ignore the block you have up to whatever you are not facing...you need to remember we are all humans and all of us have gone thru things and screwed up..you need to deal with the past once and for all so you can put it behind you..if it is too dark to bring to the light..seek help...I have found in teaching women against rape that most people who are abused or raped hold themselves to blame for it which is not true at all....when they finally come to the conclusion they are the victims, it enables them to let go....first off...forgive yourself for everything you have done up to now and realize what ever you give your attention to grows...so dont focus on the bad...look at the good...a great site to get your self esteem in order that has great teachers who have gone thru it too is thesecret.tv it is filled with all kinds of great inspirations of people who have made it and are living a great life now...if you go to the secret gifts and scroll down to the women on the grass and play it and say it out loud...you will see your esteem go up daily...give yourself the chance to make it and be kind to yourself...hope it helps

Answer 6

start meditating like just sit down in a comfortable place and suck in air from ur nose and let it out from ur mouth.
ok and think of a fantacy place where u feel safe and when u breathe in the air think of good things, and when u r letting out from ur mouth think of all the bad stuff in ur life like ur letting it out do this about every night before going to sleep and when u wake up for about 5 minutes hope thin helped!!!!