I hate to get all psycho-therapist on you but i need answers for peace of mind. When i was young i was in a violent relationship. He would beat me so often that i learned to accept it. I know that sounds awful but what i mean is when he was beating me i learned to take it rather than argue or fight and end up getting a worse beating. After he finished he said sorry he couldnt remember and he did it in a black rage. Eventually i found the strength to leave him. I then met a gorgeous kind man that makes me laugh non stop! Ive married him and had children. My problem now is im sexually aroused by spanking. My hubby doesnt mind doing it, he likes it if i like it. My worry is do i like it because i miss the beatings....? But i dont miss them! im not willing to go into details but im permanently damaged (and i dont mean mentally although i probably am too) so its a constant reminder but why cant i get rid of this niggle that i like spanking for the wrong reasons..........?
2007-07-05 12:13:34 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I doubt it very much. It sounds like you enjoy being spanked for the same reasons that so many other women do - because it's sexy and sweet and a great erotic turn-on, especially from a kind loving man like your husband.
The beatings you used to get from your previous partner were vile abuse - which is a totally different thing. Congratulations on finding the strength to leave him - and on finding a man worthy of you.
2007-07-05 22:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing strange, I have had the pleasure of knowing several female partners who have enjoyed a spank from time to time. From a male point of view it does take some understanding as hitting a female is totally unacceptable but there is a mile wide and very distinct line between abusive beating and a light spanking. Provided you like it and your partner doen't object go for it.
Check out he number of ladies above who have declared a liking for it, they can't all be wrong can they?
Do you miss the beatings?OF COURSE NOT!!! this is a different and distinct thing, stop worrying about it and enjoy your new found happiness.
2007-07-05 13:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by streetblitzer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take peace of mind in knowing that you are totally normal. Many women enjoy spanking as part of sex and they have never been in an abusive relationship. I think you are over thinking it. If anything, I'd say if you got some kind of strong emotional reaction to spanking you might need therapy to get over the past relationship. It sounds like you've done quite well. Enjoy being normal! Good luck ;)
2007-07-05 12:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going into this at the wrong angle. I am sorry you suffered at the hands of a brute but it doesn't mean you have to be a nun afterwards! I was assaulted once and made to perform o..l s.x. It doesn't stop me from enjoying it now and I also, rather oddly, like it if my head is forced down on the doodah - even though its similar to the assault. The reason it isn't weird is because I am in control and I am doing it with someone I care about. It does sometimes pop into my head that its a bit of a co-incidence but hey, if you like it and it doesn't do any harm, then why not?
2007-07-05 12:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I enjoy being spanked as well, and i don't think it has anything to do with your past....back then of course you didn't like getting beat, that was a different kind of spanking, you know in your mind this man is not gonna hurt you and it's a sexual thing,,....if you enjoy it, enjoy it and don't think so much about it....it just arouses you...if it had anything to do with the past you'd no it, you'd also want him to call you bad names and beat you..but you don't?...so just realize this is normal, many people enjoy it so leave it at that and enjoy it.
2007-07-05 12:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Enjoying spanking during sex play is not connected in any way to actual beating/physical abuse.
Many, many people like the former. NO ONE likes the latter.
Don't worry about it. Spanking can be erotic. A beating never is.
2007-07-05 12:17:27 · answer #6 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
spankings arouse me as well. Over doing them and they will tear up the flesh on the fanny. But properly done, will bring strange satisfaction, and a redened bottom.
Likeing them because of an abusive relationship, NO. That would cause you to turn away.
2007-07-05 12:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by duster 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not for the wrong reason honey, its normal to be sexually aroused by spanking. Spanking is sweet.
2007-07-05 21:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you are talking to yourself too much. Let it go for good. I have never been beaten in my life and I totally loved to be spanked. So it can't be because of that. If you found the strenght to leave that monster then you have the strenght to get pass this one.
2007-07-05 12:22:18 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Candi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no many women enjoy spanking, there is a difference between spanking from a man who loves you and done in an erotic way and abuse. You're normal.
2007-07-05 12:18:43 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋