Is this a good topic paragraph?

Question

Some people keep secrets from the ones they love. People with secrets can be good at hiding them or can show that they have one. Ryan had a secret, and was very good at hiding it. No one knew his secret but himself and a group of people that he called his friends called “Cosa Nostra.”

Is this a good topic paragraph? If it isn't, how could I fix it?

Answer 1

Use some larger words, to make it more eloquent and flowing. Try right clicking, synonyms in word document.
Also "secret but himself and a group of people that he called his friends called “Cosa Nostra.", that whole sentence runs on a bit and should be simplified or made more clear.

Answer 2

Your first answerer is correct. I would also add that the paragraph needs to be reordered. Start with the sentence that begins "Ryan had a secret." It's much more interesting if you have a concrete image than a generalized statement about secrets.

Good luck!