Disregarding the specific topic and out of context , could anyone review the following phrase within the?

Question

the English language and advise on it's writing style correction? Feel free to change it or even add some more professional sounding words

Thanks for that

This is what I wrote:
Today’s society is living under constantly fear about almost every aspect of our existence. Everyone has to rely on high technology measures to protect the security of their residences, financial dealings, even up to their vehicles.

People tend to take care of their personal assets and now more than ever their personal data. As personal information such as bank account and pin numbers has also became part of one’s personal valuable.


There is the danger of once personal record falling into the wrong hands these days. Should this happened, one can find herself/himself into a lot of problems.

Answer 1

Here's my rewrite:

Today’s society is living under constant fear about almost every aspect of our existence. People have to rely on high- technology measures to protect the security of their residences, financial dealings -- even their vehicles.

People tend to guard the safety of their personal assets and data now that such information, including bank accounts numbers and pin numbers, can cause a lot of damage if it gets into the wrong hands.

Answer 2

Try this

Society today is living under constantly fear of almost every aspect of its existence. Everyone has to rely on highly technological measures to protect the security of their residences, financial dealings, even their vehicles.

People tend to take care of their personal assets and now, more than ever, their personal data since personal information, such as bank accounts and pin numbers have also became part of one’s personal valuables.


There is the danger of ones personal records falling into the wrong hands these days and should this happen, one can find themselves with lots of problems.

Answer 3

Today’s society is living under constant fear about almost every aspect of our existence. We have to rely on high technology measures to protect the security of our residences, financial dealings, and even our vehicles.

People are tending to take care of their own personal assets and data now more than ever. Information such as a bank account number and pin numbers have also become one of many personal valuables.


There is a very real danger of someones private records falling into the wrong hands these days. Should this happen, one can find herself/himself into a lot of problems.

Answer 4

Today’s society is lives in constantly increasing fear for personal safety and security. Many people rely on highly technological measures to secure their residences, financial assets and information, vehicles, and other personal property.

People tend to safeguard their personal assets and data now more than ever . Such personal information as bank account and pin numbers has become part of one's most closely protected possessions.


The threat of identity theft is so alarming these days that people will stop at nothing to prevent their personal information from falling into the wrong hands. Should identity theft occur, the damages can be long-lasting and quite severe.

Answer 5

Today’s society is living under constant fear of almost every aspect of our existence. Everyone has to rely on high technology measures to protect the security of their residence, financial dealings; even their vehicles.

People tend to take care of their personal assets - and now more than ever - their personal data, as personal information such as bank account details and PIN numbers have also became part of one’s personal belongings.

There is always the danger of one's personal records falling into the wrong hands these days. Should this happen, one can find oneself with serious problems.

Answer 6

Today our society is living in constant fear over a variety of different aspects of our existence. Everyone has to rely on high technological measures to protect the security of his or her own residence, financial dealings, and vehicles.

People tend to take care of their personal assets and, now more than ever, their personal data. Personal information, such as bank account and pin numbers, have also become part of one’s personal valuable.


There is danger in one's personal records falling into the wrong hands. Should this happen, one may find him or herself involved in a lot of problems.

Answer 7

Revised:
Today's people live under constant fear. Everyone is taking high tech measures to secure their residences, finances and even their vehicles.

People are concerned about their personal assets and, now more than ever, their identities, including their bank account and PIN numbers. Now, the threat having these personal records stolen is real, and, if it occurs, it can ruin a person's credit, lead to financial devastation and even cause the person to acquire a false criminal record.

Answer 8

Today's society is living under constant fear of every aspect of their existence. We have to rely on high tech measures to protect the security of our homes, finances and personal vehicles.
We must make every effort to take extra precautionary measures to protect our personal finances and personal banking information including bank account and pin numbers.
If one is threatened or exposed to identity theft, major problems may occur concerning your personal credit.

Answer 9

I re-wrote this so that it sounds better!!!
Today's society is constantly living in fear about almost every aspect of our existence. Everyone relies on advance technology to protect our security of our homes, financial transactions, and vehicles.

People tend to take care of their personal assets yet now they take more care of their personal valuables.

There is the danger of personal records falling in the wrong hands nowadays. If this were to happen, one can find themselves in grave problems.