when is the best time to be involved...i mean they're legally seperated and a divorce is definatley going through...why can't he be involved with someone else during the seperation waitng for the divorce to be final?
2007-07-05 10:54:50 · 36 answers · asked by kqueen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmm... are you the "other woman"? It's never ideal to try and date while you're going through a divorce. There's enough emotion and drama to deal with already, why add more?? Personally, I would prefer to get myself together (and legally single) first!
2007-07-05 11:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
"He" can be involved with whatever he wants to be involved with!
The question should be: "Should YOU be involved with him while he has legal issues? He is still legally married. Don't be second best.
The best time to forge a relationship is after all that mess is done. He has closed emotional upheaval doors, financial responsibility doors, anything bad to do with the past relationship. He had to have had very strong feelings for the woman he is divorcing at one time. If the love he once had has turned into hate or anger...RUN !!!!!! If they are parting peacefully...stand back and let the system do it's thing...because if you are accused of the reason they seperated...divorced...you will always question that too.
2007-07-12 16:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by Jeannine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because in the court of law they will label him as an adulterer, a person that was sleeping around during the marriage, and yes even in divorce there are penaltys, the judge can make him pay more alimony, or child support, Why can't he just wait? You will be there when the divorce is over if you really care about him, its better than being called a cheater in the court of law!
2007-07-13 03:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by grizzlybearthunderfoot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do anything they want, but if you give it a year after separation before you get serious about anyone else it has a better chance of working. You've had time to get rid of some of the old baggage. You won't be involved in something like the reincarnation of old spouses. You really are an individual that can live on your own although you may not think so.
2007-07-12 13:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it depends on the relationship the two people divorcing have. My ex and I both wanted each other to move on, so...we did. But, there is a ton of emotional stuff to work through after a divorce, so don't get your hopes up about jumping into this wonderful new relationship, because, in all honesty, it probably won't last. There is such a thing as a "transitional other" following divorce...
2007-07-10 14:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by joesnextgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The main thing is that the divorce is not final. Until it is final, separated or not, he is still married. The soon to be ex wife could add things about infidelity during the marriage into the divorce proceedings.
If you're waiting for this guy, you can wait a bit longer until the divorce is final. I wouldn't get involved with him until you saw the signed paperwork from the courthouse.
2007-07-05 11:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wise to give oneself time to think and re-evaluate things before getting involved with someone new. A divorce is somewhat like a death...It involves the "death" of the hopes and illusions you once had about this other person you married....and I guess we all need time to learn from our mistakes and see to what extent we contributed to its failure.
Some people take longer than others to overcome the sadness of a divorce; but IMO rebound relationships are not a good idea, and I strongly suggest you lay low for a while so your mind can be clear and you can make better decisions in the future.
2007-07-05 11:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For reasons that have nothing to do with social norms, it is best for a person to remain 'single' while going through a divorce.
Regardless of the reasons for the divorce, it is a difficult process. You need to give yourself time. Counsellors will recommend one month for every year of marriage (so if you were married 12 years, you would take 1 year to adjust to what has happened to you and figure out where you really want to go from here).
Divorce is not just about a relationship ending. It is a mortgage ending, children being hurt and deeply affected (if there are kids), goals being abandoned, future plans being abandoned, or altered. Finances are in question for a time. Feelings of abandonment, hurt, distrust, etc. need to be worked through.
It is a matter of being fair and kind to yourself. Take time to heal. Even if you wanted the marriage to end, you still need to take the time to heal from everything you have gone through.
Secondly, be fair to your future partner. If you are going through a time of uncertainty, upheaval, unrest, decision making, financial ups and downs, change of residence, visitation schedules, and on and on, why would you want to drag another person into all of that? Wait until you can be a healthy, whole person in a healthy, whole relationship. You will never regret the wait.
Best of luck to you in your journey.
2007-07-12 09:10:08 · answer #8 · answered by Bonnie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they are ONLY legally separated. Until you get the divorce, you still have the option of saving the marriage. And divorce courts and churches, etc. Are all built to save the marriage. One of the most important things we have in this life is the sanctity of marriage. marriage is creating another person out of two. It also creates children and before you destroy it, you should give it it's proper chance. if the people were not meant to be together then the divorce will be complete, they can go their separate ways, and not have to feel any guilt that they didn't give the marriage the proper time to heal itself. The values of a guilt free release are priceless, the feeling that you have done all you can do, the satisfaction of knowing that you went the FULL measure.
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2007-07-10 08:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Market Magician 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he be involved with another person? Because divorce is not a good thing, it's not a fun thing. If you think it's a treat to jump his bones now, while he's 'doing it', he's probably still thinking of how he has a failed marriage behind him, a love that he committed to that is not going to be in his life anymore. She may have hurt him deeply. If he hurt her deeply, he may feel horribly guilty because he knows he's slime. But whatever the case, in a divorce, both parties hurt. A lot. So back off, bimbo.
2007-07-10 11:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you could end up the scape goat another words some could look at you as the other women who caused the divorce. If you think about it there is no rush and anyone going through a divorce needs a little breathing room. You don't want people pointing at you saying they might of had a chance but you ruin it for them.
2007-07-05 12:07:34 · answer #11 · answered by miester44 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋