I'm married and very frisky and sexual, my wife however is not into the physical intimate side of things. i've tried to be romantic, rose pedals, candlelight etc...she just isn't into anything and if we do get intimate it's the same old redundant thing with no variety ... what can i do to spice things up a little or do i just forget about it??
2007-07-05 10:46:21 · 10 answers · asked by Cupcakes Moosey! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask her what she wants. Maybe she does not want rose petals and candlelight. Maybe she is secretly a handcuffs and leather kind of girl. If not, you can try some of other things.
1. Pretend you just met each other. It is fun to rediscover the same person and remember why you found them sexy in the beginning.
2. Send her sexy emails.
3. Suprise her. My husband coaches basketball and one time I showed up to a game wearing nothing but high heels and a coat (it was winter). Do something spontaneous.
4. Compliment her. Make sure she knows that you think she is beautiful and sexy. Tell her what parts of her body you find attractive.
5. Go to an adult toy store together and let her buy some things that she would like to try. There are plenty of options (body paint, adult videos, vibrators, lingerie, etc.).
6. Make a bedroom rule - you are not allowed to use the same position more than once a week.
7. Talk dirty.
8. Clean the house. Chances are she is just exhausted from chasing the kids around all day. Send the kids to grandma (or I can babysit), cook her dinner, and then when she is relaxed you can make your move.
I guess it all comes down to communication. Talk to her. Ask her what she needs/wants. It may even be something physical vs. emotional. She may want to make an appointment with her doctor just in case there is an underlying problem.
Good luck!
2007-07-05 11:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk things out w/ her. Find out WHY she isn't really into it. Maybe she needs to get to a doctor and have her hormone levels checked. They do change over time....
You might need to consider some type of couples coounseling. To be together and not be in sync (or at least not reach a reasonable compromise) will endanger the relationship over the long haul.
As a last resort, you could discuss with her the idea of an open relationship or tell her that if she's not willing to work on it (and won't overlook you going elsewehere for it), that you would consider ending the relationship.
That should motivate her to at least seek help on the issue.
If she doesn't - then at least you have her answer as to how she feels about the marriage and your relationship.
2007-07-05 10:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by aa889d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a lot of things you can do, there's medication, toys and massage oils, getting her out of the house on a romantic get away.
There could be deep emotional troubles that intrude as well, therapy helps. Talk to her about it, she may just be going through some changes. When we (women) get older sex isn't as big of an issue as it use to be, but you should still talk it over with her, ask her if she's bored, troubled, or has depression.
You know, I don't know if this is the problem or not because I don't know your situation, but a lot of women who have had sexual trauma in their past tend to do the things that you have described. This is so common and I only know because I have been through this myself, typically they can be very frisky in the beginning but after awhile it just weighs on you and you loose all interest in sex. With therapy and medication this can be fixed.
I really hope that this isn't what's going on, but you really should try to get to the root of the problem.
2007-07-05 11:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by I'm Here 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need sex to have a rewarding relationship with anyone. Sex is only a very small part of any relationship. The world seems to revolve anything sexual and to be honest, it makes me sick to a point. If you feel you have a happy, fulfilling, and rewarding relationship with anyone, then who cares what anybody else may think?
2016-04-01 09:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this question comes up all the time. You'll have to talk to her about it. Tell it's important to you, and you're feeling neglected. Seriously. And then tell her you want to try new things, and make some suggestions. Just be prepared for her to be a little embarrassed at first, so be supportive to the point of praise and not at all critical.
2007-07-05 10:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would she be into going to a hotel with a swimming pool, a motel would work too. And the hot tub, then a couple of X-rated movies, then just take it easy and relax, let whatever comes about come.
2007-07-05 11:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, she should be open to talk about it. Even if she has good reasons to be like that, you two should be able to work things out and reach an agreement so that both of you are satisfied.
Good luck,
2007-07-05 10:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Karla T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it. Ask her what she'd like you to do for her, then you can hopefully bring the conversation around to what she can do for you. Good luck!!!
2007-07-05 10:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, its like I wrote this message.
All I can say is I feel your pain brother.
2007-07-05 10:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u have to give her, her needs give her an og (orgasam)so she doesnt have to fake it eat her out rub her clitoris i know it sounds gross but it works
2007-07-05 10:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋