I have known my husband since i was 14yo.........It's over now and i'm 52, is it possible for me to learn to love another and eventually even live with another?
2007-07-05 10:34:25 · 22 answers · asked by jackie F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes its possible, but that's if you want too.
2007-07-05 10:37:55 · answer #1 · answered by *AntA mAriA* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is yours, in 38 years you have changed, your attitudes, your beliefs and certainly your definition of love.
The love you may one day feel for another will be different to that felt for your ex, don't get confused by this, you are older, wiser and think differently to when you were 14.
In light of your saying "its over now" I just wonder if its "learning to love" or "learning to trust" that concerns you.
At 52 you probably have between 20 & 30 years left, do you want to spend them alone? in any event the longest journey always and only ever starts with the first step, take it, get out and meet people, you will be surprised at the number of people in the same boat. Go at the pace that you are comfortable with, you can back off at any time.
Good luck and happy days
2007-07-05 12:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by streetblitzer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh that is a long time. Speaking from my own experience (although not as lengthly as yours) I met my husband at 12 and was with him until 30....never thought it possible to love someone else, I honestly didnt. However ive found that if I dont make any comparasions and ive spent an entire year getting to know my man....who i absolutely adore (and love, of course) that it makes the process less daunting. If you start thinking like I did, how will i ever know someone inside out and have someone know me that way, you know where you dont even need words because you know each other so well then it makes the prospect of loving again very overwhelming. I think just respecting that it will takes some years to get to know someone that well again is a good starting place. Also a lot largely depends on whether you are ready to begin the dating process yet? Do you feel open to that idea? If not just go out with friends for a while and find yourself again, as long relationships often cause us to somewhat loose our own identity and its a good time to re-discover who you are as a single woman as opposed to a married one. I wish you the very best of luck. Its a slow process but we can love again, especially if we accept that each love is different. x x
2007-07-06 03:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by doodlebip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, I am going through a divorce from my husband of 30 years, he was having an affair with the company tramp, I had no idea until I came home to find him moving out to move in with her. I had been married to him since I was 17 years old. I don't think at this time that I will ever be able to trust another man like I trusted him and got kicked in the teeth after 30 years. Some people are able to move on and find love again, hopefully you are one of them, but I think it will take some time and the trust will not be the same because of what you have been through.
2007-07-05 16:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure is possible, you don't learn to love someone it just happens. Many people either divorce or a spouse passes away, they find someone new (in time) and live very happily. My mom left my dad after 30 yrs of marriage, she was with him since she was a teen as well, she met her current husband shortly after and they have been married now for 10 years. It happens everyday.
2007-07-05 10:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope so. I'm around the same age (a little older) and we were together 28 years, married for 25. The betrayal is making me very scared of any new relationship. But I do feel that our lives might be filled with love again. Good luck to you. A broken heart does mend. It will just take time.
2007-07-05 10:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by wc2ketey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One of my patients is 82 and she has just met the love of her life!
Please dont let anything hold you back. You are in the prime of your life and things can only get better for you. I know a really lovely lady with a young outlook who ls now 55 and she left her husband after 25 years of marriage and knew him for 30 years. She is happier now than she has ever been!
Believe me the best is yet to come. You have your freedom and you will have some really great times ahead of you.
Lots of people get divorced in their 40's and 50's and go on to meet someone special. And you will be one of them, you will see! My mum had 5 teenage children and met a great guy in her late 40's and says life only gets better! x
2007-07-05 10:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i does not take her lower back in a million. I"m not a element. i'm a individual with thoughts. i'm not 2d superb. i'm not the lower back burner purely in case you have not something on the front burner. she would be in a position to make her very own possibilities. She chosen to this factor a guy with money. as quickly as she is bored with that she isn't allowed to easily come back. as quickly as she leaves she is long gone. She is 21 and intensely immature. uncertain what she needs in existence and could probable be an unhappy individual for a protracted time until eventually she figures out what she fairly needs out of existence. do not enable her use you lower back.
2016-09-29 03:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have essentially just asked the same question, about how do i trust someone else.
The response i have received and from what i know deep down, is that , i truely hope someone is out there, just finding, but its your life don't let this be the focus.... enjoy your life and see what comes.
I was only married for 10, together for 16.
2007-07-06 02:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by nashjuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jackie, you and I are in the same boat, I was married for 33 years this year, two years later we are not divorced, he is dragging his feet, this is such a headache!!! I hope to have this wrapped up soon, I said hope...
I do not know if I could trust another person in my life, I do not have room for some in my life, I will not get hurt again, I do like being on my own, but do miss the companionship.
Email me if you want to talk, hang in there it will get better!!!!
2007-07-05 11:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that you can "learn" to love another, i don't believe in love at first sight, but i do believe that you can love another. when you meet someone you like then you are at the first stage of love, what is most important is never to expect him to do things the way your first love did, never compare, even in your mind, we all have our own little ways of doing things and our own ways of being who we are, if it is over with your husband then cherrish the love you had, but you can't ressurect it in another, it will be a different love and a different experience of love, go out there and enjoy it. take care and be safe, good luck.
2007-07-06 08:49:45 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋