how come i cant get off? is somthing wrong with me?

Question

hi there i really need some advise i have been wit this guy for about months and we have sex alot and out of all the times we have i have only had a orgasm like twice and i try to do the same things i did those times i did get off but it dont work so is there a problem? any suggestion on how i can acctrually get off in bed

5 months**

Answer 1

yes, something is wrong with you..life sucks

Answer 2

There is more to acheiving an orgasm than just physical contact. I've heard from many women that the female orgasm is 80% mental and only 20%physical. Doing the same things doesnt always guarantee the same result. People are complicated and sometimes variety makes the difference.
My advice is to start very slow and tease the moment allowing both peoples sexuall pressure to build. Over sensation can be a problem in attaining a satisfying orgasm when you rush. Go for variety in the beginning, exploration, passion, and clumsieness will keep things fresh. Again its important for him not to rush right for the button but to try to get similar results from other parts of your body first. Have you heard the term "aching for it"? Well, by the time he makes contact with your woman area you should damn near be vibrating and twitching with anticipation. If he goes for intercourse at this point the slow build up generally comes naturally but if opts for oral then he should be light at first and minimize hard contact with the button until some desensitization occurs. A good rythm allows a woman to be a little more in control of internal angles, positioning and muscle control. Dont forget to communicate with short sweet directions like: faster,slower,softer, harder,shallower or deeper. Everyone is different.
The mental part is much more complicated. the saying "Know thy self" definitly comes into play. Ask yourself alot of questions and dont be afraid to be honest. Am I comfortable letting go in front of another person? Do I have any negative associations with sex? These are just suggestions for questions.
I am not a professional, but my friends consider me one and talk with me freely and openly about the most intimate aspects of their lives including sex. I base the answers I give on life experience, both mine and eveyone elses.

Answer 3

You need to be relaxed - right now you are focusing too much on the goal and not enjoying the minute. The more you enjoy the moment the better it will be. Try fantasizing about him during the day - then talk to him about the fantasy - maybe even play it out - a little ;). The important thing is to kick back and be in the minute it will help you get to where you want to be. Good Luck!

Answer 4

If you've had an orgasm with him before, I think he needs to try harder and make sure you have one. Personally, I make sure the woman I'm with has at least 1 orgasm...and if you know what you're doing it's not that hard. Tell him to take some responsiblity for your pleasure and not just his.

Answer 5

Nothing is wrong with you, you're probably trying too hard. You need to communicate to your b/f what feels good and what doesnt. work with him on this and you will both get better and better at it. Take the time to explore each other and find out his likes and dislikes are as well.
good luck

Answer 6

see if he'll go down on you. I know plenty of women who haven't had a orgasm for months and then as soon as somebody who knows what their doing goes down with the tongue, the women has multiple orgasms. It's worked for me, the majority of girls I've been with haven't had a orgasm for ages and then when I'm let loose on them, they can't stop climaxing!!!! I think your boyfriend needs to learn how to use his tongue properly

Answer 7

Have you ever with a different man? What about with yourself??

Lot's of woman don't have vaginal orgasms. Maybe he needs to use his hands/face or something. If you have anything you do alone to make it happen, instruct him. Sometimes that's pretty hot. lol

Answer 8

sounds like you're thinking about it too much. did you try getting on top? sometimes the guy just doesnt do it right.. just gotta take control of the situation if you want to get off

Answer 9

Well, judging by your grammar you're obviously 13. So I dont know wait a few years then try again?

Answer 10

Reach down during and Help your self. Many women can "Get OFF" during actual intercourse. You just have to impervise. Mix it up. Make him go down on you. watch some dirty movies. Do what it takes.

Answer 11

Try not to thinking about the technique too much and just flow with it. Move the way you feel like moving then. sometimes when you worry too much, it'll just distract your mood.