trying to control my life? are they preventing me doing something? is there some hidden law in society which is preventing me from living my life & attaining my dreams?
the situation is this. im a 30 year old bpd sufferer, whos been through a hell of alot in my life, alot of pain & trauma.
and whenever i talk about my dreams & aspirations in life that im trying to aim for. of emigration from the united kingdom. of moving to canada or the u.s...or of finding the loving partner and the girl i choose...of finding a comfortable home to live in with her...:~ these are my dreams which i want to reach, no lowering of my sites for nobody..but when i talk about them all i hear is,can't, can't, cant cant, cant & can't.....
so what do they mean by this then? what are they saying? that i cant do these things? that they are trying to control me? that i wont be allowed to? that there will be certain people to stand in my way?.......
can somebody please explain what people could possibally
2007-07-05 09:27:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
mean by them saying 'cant' to me? and how i can deal with it without becoming very angry? cheers
2007-07-05 09:28:53 · update #1
thankyou for your answers so far, ! i just get confused and think, 'are they preventing me..?'...if so what should i do? how should i react?..
2007-07-05 09:51:30 · update #2
Hey Coop:
They are your dreams and no one elses. No one has a right to tell you what you can dream for. They are yours, you own them, they are yours to do with as you choose. DO NOT let anyone take that away from you, They can't if you don't let them.
It's your power Coop, let NO ONE ever take it from you. Never give it away, it is yours!
Be safe and be well
Love, ya!
J x
2007-07-05 15:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, who is "they?" Friends, family, couselors? Many times, when someone says you can't do something, it usually means they think you shouldn't, and probably out of their own fear of seeing you fail. They probably care about you, and don't want to see you set your heart on something, only to have it fall through. But what they don't realize, is that they are hurting you worse by trying to hold you back, even if they have good intentions. Having bpd may make things harder for you....you may have more set-backs, more disappointments, more failed attempts. But that does not mean that you CAN'T get to where you want to be. Just go after your dreams, one at a time so as not to overwhelm yourself (I know that in times of mania, you think that you can accomplish it all NOW, and may lose interest fast)....then sit back, smile, and be the one to say "I told you so." Good luck to you!
2007-07-05 16:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by Hidden Jewel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of rules and laws. You live with them or you don't, no in between. I know a young man who went against the system, today he sits in a chair and drools. You live with the system or die, that is the beauty.
2007-07-05 21:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Coop 366 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell em "up yours" and live your dreams....there is absolutely nothing that should stop you going for what you want in your life. Perhaps they don't believe you can...but only you know that and you can best show them they are wrong. Go for it!
2007-07-05 16:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by dave n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think in the context you describe 'can't' means that 'they' think you are being unrealistic in your expectations
no, they are not trying to 'control' you, only probably are worried that failure will drive you in a downward spiral (and they are sick and tired of having to pick up the pieces ?)
but it's up to you, isn't it, to prove them wrong and prove yourself right ?
2007-07-05 16:40:32 · answer #5 · answered by sig21792 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋