My man is getting hi as often as possible he claims he doesnt need help but i say he does i have threatend to leave and take the kids but he still does it and tries to hide it but i always seem to know. He will do good for 4 or 5 months then go on a binge off and on for like a month what in the hack can i do to help him stop and make him see and i am seriously ready to give up on us and take off with my kids
2007-07-05 09:09:52 · 14 answers · asked by mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's an addict. He does need help. He's not going to just magically change overnight. You need to do what's best for those kids and that's getting them out of this situation. If you make the threats and don't follow through, he knows it, and knows he can do whatever and you'll still be there. I think you need to actually leave him and maybe that would be a wake up call to him. His actions and choices are his own, no amount of begging, pleading, crying, or threatening is going to fix it. Good luck and take care of yourself.
2007-07-05 09:16:01 · answer #1 · answered by Brandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to put it simply. He is a drug addict and will not stop without an intervention. There's nothing you can do to stop him. If he is binging then it sounds like he uses in reaction to stress, but in time it will become more frequent. (I've worked and have knowledge about concerning people with substance abuse issues.) The most important thing is to get yourself help as well. There are Al-Anon meetings going on everywhere, all the time. Go online and it will give you a list of meetings in your area. Leaving is your choice, especially if he is being violent or using monetary resources to pay for his substance, but I would recommend getting information and a support system for yourself FIRST. It will help you cope with the craziness that is substance abuse, and it will help you figure out whether to leave or stay. Good luck and let us know what is happening.
2007-07-05 09:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by NikkiRhoades34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has an addiction, and it is beyond your ability to cure/save/fix him. Only he can do that, and he will need professional help to beat this addiction permanently.
You need to consider your own well-being, and your kids. Your husband is dangerously out of control by being high, and could seriously injure you or your child while under the influence. He is also setting a bad example for the children, so unless you want them to follow in his footsteps, you need to make it clear that this behavior is not okay. You need to make good on your threat to leave, or you will be teaching your man and your kids that drug abuse is acceptable, that he doesn't have to change or face the consequences of his actions.
Be strong, and move out immediately. Tell your man that you love him, but you can't sit by and watch him destroy his life anymore, and endanger you and your children. Do not take him back until he has proven - not just promised - to take aggressive steps to beat his addiction. He needs to complete detox/therapy/support group/ etc before you should even consider renewing the relationship.
2007-07-05 09:19:25 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give up. It sounds like you have tried enough. Take the kids and run. Do you really want to raise your children around that. He needs help and he won't get it if he thinks that your threats to leave are empty ones. Good luck.
2007-07-05 09:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by from_a_dark_place 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
who cares what he does if he dosnt want help then screw him. what are you gonna do if someone reports his use in front of the kids, the police raid your house find a nice stash and you watch them take your kids youll never see them again cause you stayed.get a back bone stand up and tell him to get professional help or leave your home. it is your job to protect your kids not a grown azz man.
2007-07-05 09:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by sweet young thing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hes into total denial! what are you waiting for? is money your problem? all this person is doing is making your life miserable, you need to get his friends and family doing a intervention, let him know hes losing all he cares about over some damn toot! if that doesnt help , you need to go to into a program like al anon, and he needs coke enders... if not,, leave the idiot and let him really sniffle!
2007-07-05 09:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by alangj91761 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, You need help if you havent left him already. Hes gonna keep doin it and we all know that. So my advice to you is take the kids and start new. LEAVE HIM!
2007-07-05 09:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more you say it and do not leave him the more he thinks you are just mad and will never leave him.
stop waiting on him / leave for you and your children's sake.
Its like telling your kids that you will spank them if they do not stop.if you do not actually do it, they will continue to call the bluff.because they know you do not mean it.
actions speak louder than words.
2007-07-05 09:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by nobodytotalkabout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't cope. I'd leave him. You should leave with the kids, b/c you staying says that his behavior is OK.
2007-07-05 09:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you only threaten him he won't take you serious. You will have to actually leave him, even if temporarily for him to take you seriously.
2007-07-05 09:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by 2sexy 2cute 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋