I set up a bogus email and sent emails "From" a girl I had a feeling he was messing with or wanted to mess with.. it has turned into an everyday email thing where he is trying to set up times and places to meet to be with her... what he doesnt know is that it isnt her it is me... his wife.... what do I do. I love him and have spent 10years of my life with him..... and he gets plenty in the bedroom from me, infact, I go strip clubs with him. Not many wives do that with their husbands and feel comfortable doing it!!! I do! HELP!
2007-07-05 09:03:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you confirmed what you suspected. I would kill that email account and then see how your husband acts the next few weeks.
If he is sullen and sad, then you know he was emotionally attached which to many is cheating as much as physically cheating.
I wouldn't admit to him what you did, nor confront him. You have the confirmation, now try to get him to talk to you more about your marriage. It sounds like it is not where you nor he would like it to be. Talk about where you are and where you want to be. Need to get back onto the same road.
2007-07-05 09:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by DC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should have just straight out asked him about it rather than play all these games of trying to figure it out. That is the problem with a lot of marriages these days...there's no trust. 10 years is a huge investment and if you feel that something is going on, why not just ask? You have been with him long enough to know how he will react so why make it harder on yourself to snoop around. When you ask him don't just come at him or talk at him. Show some genuine concern and let him know that you are worried. Let him know you have some suspicions and though you feel uncomfortable asking him, it is necessary. Let him know that you would expect the same if he felt you were up to something. All I am saying is don't play any games and be honest with him. As far as the strip clubs go...if that is what you are down with than by all means do it. If you are just doing it for him than that is kind of where you messed up. You are giving him what he wants and that only leads to trouble. You can't be so passive when things that mean something to you are just let go. If you are not comfortable you have to let him know. This way he'll think twice before doing it. Good Luck!!
2007-07-05 09:13:19 · answer #2 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which part of him do you love? The part that's sneaking around on your answering emails from other women and trying to make an attempt to take it to the next level? You already have proof of what he's capable of. He already lusts after other women, with you present in night clubs, which tells him it's OK. Obviously, you don't trust him and realize that he'd cheat if given the opportunity so you presented him with one. If you need more proof to end this thing, then just set up a date for him and the ficticious woman to meet and then you show up. You can't change the way this man is; he's already a cheater. You can't make him a non-cheater and a great guy because he's not and never will be. And, you can't be looking over your shoulder every day. Giving him plenty of sex isn't going to change his cheating ways. You have to come to terms with the fact that he's not capable of loving or respecting you or anyone else other than himself. So, the only thing you have to decide is whether or not you want to waste the rest of your life with a no good guy. Whether it's today or tomorrow, sooner or later, he'll cheat and you'll get divorced. It's better for you to end it now while you're still young enough to attract a nice guy.
2007-07-05 09:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would set up a time and a place to meet him. Tell him to be there for a certain time, and you show up of course a few minutes later. Walk over to him and act surprised to see him there, ask him what he is doing, see him sweat for a bit. Then come out and say why your there and that fact that you caught him. Give him and a choice, say it is you or someone else.
Why would you want to be with this man, if you know that he wants to be with someone else? You should be rethinking why you love him and if he really loves you. Good luck.
2007-07-05 09:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't ever tell him you set up the accounts... that will get him sooo pissed off, that he will never trust you again! (I konw it's twisted)
Anyway... you have to scare the c r a p out of him... you have to tell him you caught him trying to set up a date with his girlfreaind.... and tease him about it... but be firm... he's gonna die to konw where you got that info from... then at that point, confront him,, and tell him, "oh, so it is true!?" ,, and make him squirm..... warn him, that you are not messing around will leave him in a miniute!... then that night, give him a good Banging,, so he remembers why he married you... oh, and let him use the back door too.... I remember thats why I had a GF on the side,, wifey didn't let me in!
2007-07-05 09:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think its a bit late to worry about tearing up your marriage dont you? you have 2 choices, keep quiet and live with it, or, confront him, if he is looking for an affair/fling with this supposed "other woman" and obviously nothing will come of it, do you think he will just go back to being good old faithful hubby? you have no choice but to confront him if you stand any chance of coming through this, wouldnt be me, the intention has already been proven, hes shown his true colours and where his loyalty lies, the trust has been broken
2007-07-05 09:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you for finding out. i would be very hurt and would have no problem confronting him, and i dont think you should worry about tearing up your marriage i think he was on the way to doing that himself. Be pissed and let it out and make sure he knows you are very angry. Thats what i would do and thats what i think you need to do. Dont let him off the hook so fast or next time you might not be so lucky to find out
2007-07-05 09:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you set him up only to find out your worst fears are true? You know he wants to give his affections to someone else besides you...why bother waiting for him to actually gothrough with it? Sounds like your marraige is already over, at least as far as he is concerned. Why drag this out further?
2007-07-05 09:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your marriage is in a ditch who cares he his feelings are hurt. set him up meet him and get it out in the open b ut when you meet him at the hotel take along your divorce papers. screw him he dosnt want you anymore find someone who truly cares for you after all dont you deserve that
2007-07-05 09:15:28 · answer #9 · answered by sweet young thing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If youre really doing all your saying, youve done enough to try to make it work...I think what you did was pretty sinister but you got what you needed to know. Why you sticking around if youre doing all you can?
2007-07-05 09:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Mergler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋