What is rape,,?

Question

I have a friend who has been friends with a married man for alot longer than they've been married. The man has been maried for about 2 years.

One day while the wife was out town the friend stopped over the man house to hang out and drink and smoke weed.

Next thing that happened was the friend woke to find him shoving himself inside her after she had already made it clear that she didnt want to have sex. In fact she had a tampon inside her that his forced lodge so far up in her it was a mission just to get it out. After this friend came to and found out what he was trying to do she got upset and left.

Was this her fault?

Should she tell the wife?

(PS. Be nice with your answers...things happen and people learn from their mistakes)

Answer 1

It was not her fault - it was his decision to do what he did.

Your friend is only at fault for putting herself in an unsafe situation - any time a person drinks or does drugs and knows they will be unable to control a situation, they should ALWAYS have someone they trust present to *soberly* monitor the situation. In other words, she shouldn't have gotten high with someone she didn't absolutely trust with her life.

It was definitely rape, because she was under the influence and unable to give explicit permission, and she had previously indicated that such behavior was not acceptable.

The friend needs to call the police and report the rape. The man should be arrested, or he will never learn that his behavior was not just inappropriate, but illegal and harmful. Telling the wife is the least concern - yes, it would be nice to inform the wife of the details of the situation, and for the friend to assure her that she would NEVER have tried to seduce the husband or in any way harm their marriage, and that both women are victims of this man's irresponsible behavior.

Answer 2

Unfortunately for your friend, yes that constitutes rape. Rape is a sexual act performed on someone without their consent and your friend should've left and went straight to the police to have a statement taken and then to the hospital for a test kit. It is NEVER and I will stress NEVER ANYONES FAULT TO BE RAPED. Do not tell the wife. That is the wrong way to go and you don't want anyone but you and the authorities knowing about this due to the fact that the truth may be turned around to make your friend look bad and make her life uneasy. Even though she obviously had her period (tampon inside) I would still get a blood test for pregnancy. You can fall pregnant even if you are bleeding. I wish your friend all the best and right now, I think she needs you.

Answer 3

Mistake? Why would it be a 'mistake' to come by when the wife isn't around and sit there and smoke dope and drink? Gee....what a terrible 'mistake'.

Get this...when it's relayed to someone that 'no' means 'no' than its rape. However...despite this is criminal people have a certain amount of responsibility to bear for their own actions. This friend of yours is quite frankly, none too swift.
By the way...what would telling the wife do? Her immoral behavior doesn't excuse his its true but she obviously wans't thinking too well when she started this was she?

Sometimes its smart to let things go and chalk it up to bad decision making. Tell her next time to use her head and not place herself in a situation that could get her hurt or worse...killed.

Answer 4

He must have drugged her. I don't think he was expecting her to wake up that soon. Did she go to the hospital after? If there is evidence she can press charges. And yes I think the wife should know what kind of a man she married so she can get away. But make sure that there is solid evidence to show her so she doesn't just think she is trying to break up their marriage.

Answer 5

Well, as a friend you should advise her to give up hanging around a married man and smoking weed because it isn't ladylike.

If you don't behave like a lady then don't be expected to be treated like one.

She only got upset?! Hell, if it had been me I would have smacked the sucker across the head with a lamp.

YES, duh, double duh,........it is attempted rape and it's also ASSAULT!

The guy should be reported to the cops and hopefully he'll know not to screw around, so to speak, again. She's going to have difficulty making her case tho and probably doesn't want to admit to the cops she was smoking weed. Silly silly girl.

Answer 6

Was he out of it as well, or was he lucid? The problem is they were both stoned. In my opinion she was raped, but at the same time, that's what can happen when you drink in excess and do drugs. Who knows what the pot could have been laced with.
If she was out of it and he wasn't, I would not only be telling his wife, but I would be calling the police, but if he was as out of it as she was, I'm not sure what I would do. Probably try to forget what happened and stop hanging out with him.

Answer 7

Never let your friend believe for a second that this was her fault. yes this was rape as she clearly didn't want to have sex with this man. Your friend needs to report this incident to the police NOW!! before he does it again to someone else

Answer 8

Why would she go and get that wasted that she would pass out. Regardless if she didn't give any signals or allow him to do it, it is rape and I would probably tell the wife (especially if she knew her) or either put charges against him. He could of messed her up with that tampon, damn he is nasty!!!

Answer 9

That scenario is date rape. Pure and simple. Tell your "friend" to contact the proper authorities.

Answer 10

thats rape!! and i would say that she should contact the police and the wife, but they were smoking weed so that probably wont be a good idea! but yea she should so tell his wife!