The baby had colic and seems to have gotten better now at 5 1/2 mo old?

Question

Now her mother has gotten into the habit of holding her literally all of the time to the point where she cannot do her house work, cant take her anywhere in the car. Cannot put her down to shower and take care of her own personal hygeine or even go to the bathroom.
I told her she needs to put her down and let her cry it out, but she says she cries so hard she turns blue and starts choking.
This baby literally cried non stop almost for the 1st 3 months of her life. They told her mother she had colic, and would outgrow it. Now she is fine as long as she is being held. Whats the deal? Why is this baby acting so bad?Any suggestions. She refuses to lay her down or let her sit in her swing or seat etc because she will start screeming.

Answer 1

I did the exact same thing and my daycare provider almost canceled me because she didn't have time or the resources to carry my son all the time.

Here is the solution:
Set your daughter down and leave the room to let her cry for ONE minute and then go back and pick her up. You have to wait out the WHOLE minute. Then do it again for two minutes and pick her up. Do it again for three minutes and so on until you work your way up to 20 minutes. This is a long process that can be done in the evenings (if you are a working mom).

My doctor told me that it is okay for a baby to cry as it exercises their lungs but no more than 20 minutes because then you're breaking down trust. Your baby knows you will be there for her but after 20 minutes the baby could feel abandoned and that is not good in the long run.

Work with your daughter starting slowly. I know it will be very difficult to hear her crying for a whole minute but each time you come back you are also building trust and she will know you will be back. Do this a couple times of day every single day and soon she will be able to occupy herself because she knows you will be back to tend to her needs.

If you think she is choking then check to see if anything is in her mouth and make sure she is breathing first. My son used to choke too because he knew that is what triggered my attention. Our basic survival needs are very strong. They don't know choking is their way of manipulation because they are only babies but they do know that choking gets our attention and we are there for them.

Our job now is to teach them that we are there for them and it doesn't have to be dehabilitating for everyone.

Answer 2

No baby is a "bad" baby. Some are more tactile and need to be held more, but every baby benefits greatly from being held OFTEN. This is why slings and baby-wearing are so recommended now. Research shows that babies whose needs are met and cries are promptly responded to during infancy grow up to be more confident, more emotionally healthy and trusting... and better able to form healthy relationships as adults. Many mistakenly believe that holding a baby too much will "spoil" it or make it "clingy" or "dependent" but this isn't the case. The opposite is true. The cry-it-out method is not affective and literally changes the chemistry of a baby's brain. Studies show that baby's who are left to "cry-it-out" grow up to be MORE clingy, insecure and nervous. So... I think this mother is doing the absolute best thing for her baby in the long run. Some might argue that it's easier on Mom and the household chores to just put the baby down and let them cry-it-out... but that doesn't mean it's best for baby's long-term emotional health.

Answer 3

I found bouncers to be very helpful. The mom is in for a long road if she doesn't nip this in the bud. My first child was a colic baby and I held her constantly even when I did housework or took baths but if I had known then what I know now I would have encouraged her to entertain herself and self soothe. She's 7 now and does anything she can for attention good or bad. She has terrible separation anxiety and throws a tantrum anytime she is confronted with being alone. A baby with emotional issues may carry those problems into childhood and adulthood. If the mother can encourage the baby to be dependent now life will be better for the mother and child in the future.

Answer 4

I think the baby just got used to being held. We had a rule when my daughter was born and we wouldn't hold her if it wasn't necessary. Feedings and changing clothes or diapers was OK. My aunt had a terrible time with my lil cousin, she would hold him since birth and couldn't stop when he was months old! She learned with the other ones and didn't do the same. It will be the hardest thing for the mom to break but she has to do it! Tell her to put her down for a few minutes at a time on a regular basis and start from there! Good luck!

Answer 5

My son had colic for the first few months after he was born. I could never put him down for he would also cry and scream. Your baby probably has gotten so used to being held all those months that he/she is now spoiled. I would ask the Dr. as I am sure the Dr. has had this happen to other babies as well. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 6

Holding a baby a lot, especially in the first 6 months, is very good for their psychological development and overall health. While she might need to set her down on occasion ~ if she wants to carry her around and comfort her. Good for her. Her baby will be bonded and secure. The cry-it-out method is cruel, in my opinion. Of course babies will cry at times ~ but to leave a tiny, helpless infant, who's only means of communication is crying ~ and ignoring them, does not produce better behaved babies. It produces hopeless babies who learn not to trust.

Answer 7

My daughter exchange into colicy from the time she exchange into born till 5 months previous. i exchange into additionally informed that it ended at 3 months. no longer for my toddler! besides, while she have been given over it, she have been given truly chuffed:)

Answer 8

MOM HAS THE PROBLEM... IF YOU ARE NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND PERSONAL THINGS YOU CANT TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN....