How do you deal with intimidating people.?

Question

When it gets to the point that it's effecting you in many ways?

Answer 1

It depends on what they're doing. I generally don't let them know they intimidate me, or I take it to a higher authority (ie, their boss). Well, that's at a work environment.

Intimidating people are nothing more than bullies. If at work, they're bullies in suits. Sometimes they can be disarmed, ie if they start yelling, interrupt and say "You know, I can understand you a lot better if you spell out what you actually would like me to do." If they remain emotional, say "Hey you look upset, you sound upset. Do you want to have some time to cool off and we can talk about this? I want to resolve your problem with me, but all I'm hearing is shouting and that helps no one."

If the person gets abusive, leave. Say, "That's out of line. I'm leaving. When you want to talk respectfully, I'm all ears."

It takes guts to do that, but why let this person do this to you? Who the hell are they that they have the right to injure your sense of self?

With bullies at school, I always just hit first, usually when they were mid-sentence. yeah, I got suspended a lot from junior high, but they just kinda left me alone after a while.

I had a boss at my first post-college job who liked to intimidate and threaten employees. He chased out half the HR department. He confronted me one day because he said I took lunch at a non-standard time. I told him I took my lunch when my work schedule allowed - usually about 2 pm. Now, he was not my direct superior (though he outranked me) but he insisted that I eat at 12:30 pm every day. I told him he had no reason to make that demand. Two days later we were in a meeting together to go over strategy, with him, my boss, and my boss's boss (who was equals with this jerk). The jerk didn't like my plan, at all, and proceeded to tear down every single thing I had done since I started at the company. I tried to speak up but my boss just told me to listen. My boss was a chicken. I sat there and took it for half an hour. The jerk's last comment before leaving was how I was such a waste of time. I then went downstairs and vomited from how upset I felt. The next time the jerk came to yell at me about an email, I told him I didn't want to waste his time so I'd answer it when I had the chance. Eventually the jerk was fired after numerous complaints from other departments.

Then there's the ones that make threats. I tolerate absolutely no ground on threats, as a rule. A student in a lab where I worked was being unruly, not just loud but obscene. I asked him twice to settle down, then told him to take a walk and come back when he could be quiet. He told me to do some things I think are anatomically impossible but definitely sounded unpleasant. I told him he was ejected. He basically said, "You and whose army?" So I called security. Mid-phone call, he leaves, and I'm ready to hang up, but he turns and says "Better hope I don't run into your wife."

Now that's about the dumbest thing to say to a guy who is getting ready to call the police. Because I did. He was nearly expelled, although this was the start of his last semester. It took him more than two years to find a job that wasn't in a restaurant (this guy finished his Accounting degree). A record of someone having a bad temper and hostile disposition strikes pretty harshly against you because no one wants to be near you.

Ultimately, there's also the solution of just leaving. If this is a roommate, a friend, certainly a significant other or even a family member. No one has the right to intimidate, manipulate or harass you. Stick up for yourself, and if they don't back down, leave.

Answer 2

All of us know people that intimidate the **** out of us. I honestly believe the only way to deal with that and get over feeling so intimidated by those people, is to force yourself into more intimidating situations more often. If you make yourself face those intimidating people, you will become more comfortable around them and in similar situations in the future. As humans, we adjust to our surroundings. We need to be stretched a little further than we think we can reach sometimes in order to grow stronger; to overcome those obstacles.
As scary as it may be, try it out for a while. And give it time. It'll help, I promise.

Answer 3

It depends on the situation you are in and whether the intimidating person is in a position of power. Sometimes you can not walk away....but you need to take action to deal with it. If you can...tell them how you feel and what you expect in their behavior....also tell them about the consequences should that behavior continue, i.e., you will walk away, go through a grievance process, take to supervisor etc. You also need to ask yourself why do you feel intimidated...this is just another person in a world of billions.

Answer 4

I don't back down from them and I never let them see me hurt. I let that person know in more ways than one that I am not scared of them. I show them that I am stronger and can be more intimidating than them. Have you ever heard the old saying "the only way to conquer fear is if you face it head on?" Well, that is my theory. It may not work for all, but I hope it works for you. I spent so much of my childhood being afraid of bullies and being bullied by my dad, that I refuse for anyone to walk all over me or intimidate me. It's bullsh*t and the "bullies" are just scared, insecure, low self-esteemed, morons. Don't let anyone punk you. If you have to, fight for what you believe in and stick up for yourself! You go girl!

Answer 5

When I can't ignore them, I let em burn out then reason with them. That don't work, I backstab em. Rarely works. They're
where they're at for some lame reason; but there there. Helps me feel better and deal with it. If you feel harassed; document from the get-go and report using your docs. to substantiate the report. Best of luck to you with this.

Answer 6

ill tell ya what i do, and it seems to have worked in the long run.

show them that you are meaner, more vicious, and that you fight dirty and you always go for the finisher.

that usually gets me to aviod a fight with someone, but of course, i do warn them first, with something along the lines of "i nearly killed a kid in kindergarden cause he hit me in the head with a toy fire truck, he's lucky i didn't uppercut him" (true incedent, i sent a older kid to the ER in kindergarden)

or i'll say "i'm warning you, i fight dirty, i'm warning you (shaking with anger so badly that you can barely keep your eyes open)" is another very effective one, oh, and dont be afraid to hit a guy in the balls, its very effective and it shows that you are there to win. (this advice is comming from a man by the way)

scratch, bite, and basically show that you plan on taking them down as fast as possible, if you hit them in the throat hard enough it will either knock the wind out of them or break their windpipe and kill them.

now that i just armed you with all of these tactics, here is a training tip, grab a pillow off of your bed, and pummell away with the pillow in mid-air, weather you gotta throw it and punch it (i reccommend that way, it works on reflexes) or you have something to just suspend it in the air with (a string?) you can practice your moves that way.

i like training face up on my bed, i rest the pillow on my feet and hands (bare is probabally best) and i kick the pillow off and hit it HARD before it lands.

the way that helps is it trains a reaction for something comming at you, just like when someone charges you in a fight.

hoe it helps, and remember, if you do end up in a fight, show your knowledge, then if they still continue, then they were warned about you, and just hit them hard till the fight is over.

Answer 7

For the most part act like it don't effect you in the least. They might get mad and try to make it worse on you but eventually they'll realize there not getting anywhere.

Answer 8

Calmly and confidently walk away, they're usually looking for a reaction.

Answer 9

Standing up to people isnt as easy as many people say, so i'm not going to tell you to just do it. but rather, start standing up to them very subtly. You can start by indirectly standing up to them, then slowly you will gain the confidence to stand up to them fully.

Answer 10

i know how you feel, it's happening to me and it's affecting me too.... :-(
hold you head up high