Its been 2 months since he poped the question. We've been dating for 3 years. I love him to death but i'm scared! I find myself picking at things i never used to fuss about before. I start fights over the smallest things. Am i trying to find a reason not to get married? Since the day i met him, i knew he was it for me. He was my first EVERYTHING and i really want him to be my ONLY. We're both in our 20s by the way.
I just need some adivce. Books to read, articles to read, anything, please help.
I've been waiting for this my whole life! I dont want tor uin this great opportunity because of cold feet. PLEASE HELP
2007-07-05 07:54:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL. You're such a cutie. I wish more people could be in your situation. What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. You're a little nervous about getting married, who isn't? It's a lifelong commitment that takes a lot of work from start to finish. Anyone who ISN'T scared to death of marriage may need to rethink their decision. What you're describing is the classic case of cold feet. You're really taking this seriously because you love the guy and it scares you a little. Trust me, that's a GOOD thing. It will subside with time, just keep your head about you and enjoy the fact that you're going to marry the one and only man who's ever been intimate with you. And as for nit picking over little things, try and give that a bit of a rest. Try thinking about what you're picking a fight over before you pick it. You'll start catching yourself before too long and that's a good habit to get in to.
Congratulations and I hope everything works out. Just take a deep breath, enjoy the moment, and stop picking those little fights miss missy! lol Good luck sweetie.
2007-07-05 08:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you need to move on from this relationship. It sounds like he likes the idea of a relationship but doesn't really like being in one. Have many boyfriend/girlfriends at either of your ages if not that unheard of but having a spouse and 2 woman he was engaged to yes that's a bit excessive. For him to say he really loves you and wants to get you a ring 'you'll actually like'. Comes on now you don't think for just a minute he said that to the other girls too? You need to be real with yourself on this. 4 months and this is your first really serious relationship and your already talking marriage???? I don't think this is a very good idea. You say that you love him which I believe you but how do you know that at some point down the line he is not going to leave you. I would have a hard time believing him too. Bottom line you don't need to be getting involved with someone who has had many other serious relationships when you haven't.
2016-05-19 00:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by delphine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should put off getting married untill you fully explore these questions that you are raising.
btw all of those feelings are very natural for engaged couples. I've read a few relationship books but i would suggest reading Gay Hendricks 'Conscious Loving'. also suggest reading other books about relationships.
learn as much as you can b4 you get married. see a relationship counselor. the counselor is an investment but the advise is worth it. right now it seems like your communication could use some work but it sounds like you want this relationship to work. im sure this is a very special relationship so, good luck.
2007-07-05 08:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by treeofwisdom7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, thing I would do is to explain and communicate to him what you wrote in your question. I think that it would only be fair for him to know how you are truly feeling.
Then, I would suggest going and taking some pre-marital counseling, and I think that would ease a lot of the tension and anxiety you are feeling.
It will also open your eyes to a lot of things that you may have not even thought about.
Marriage is a big step, but if he is the right for you then it is also a very good step.
I wish you all the best.
2007-07-05 08:00:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you're just nervous. the two of you have been dating for a while, and now you're beginning to realize that your relationship with this guy will change entirely. if you are doing any wedding planning, you also might be stressed over it. just step back, take a deep breath, and don't worry about anything. if you believe that you are with the right person, then everything will work out. good luck!
2007-07-05 20:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by butterfly84 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way to know is to look at this with logic. Can he support you if needed? Is your lives together (career)? Are you guys mature enough? Can you say that you know he really is the one that will be there for you until one of you die? Is it too soon to get married? Are you too young? Personally I say wait until you turn 27 or older. This is a good site to check out and you can purchase books. http://www.drlaura.com/main/
2007-07-05 08:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got a tattoo recently (no joke) and the tattoo shop had a sign that said "It will not hurt, if you really want it"
Think about that, if you really are ready, you will know it, and you will stop the nitpicking
if you are not ready, and keep nitpicking, break it off.
After 3 years, you 2 should be now, know everything about each other, the only true answer is YOU NEED to decide, noone else can for you.
2007-07-05 08:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by teamlessbear 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
u wrote that u know he is the only one for u and that u are ruining things due to cold feet... you already know your deal girlie!
dont mess things up and push him away.
best of luck!! xoxo
2007-07-05 08:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone gets this way. Just cold feet.
2007-07-05 08:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by gizmo0013 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He doesnt' deserve to be treated this way. If you are not ready tel him, don't lead him on.
2007-07-05 08:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by kristen a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋