ladies why do you say you need help around the house?

Question

my ex used to want me to help clean the house, so i vacumed, mopped, did the dishes, ect ( i did my part)

so instead of her being thankful of my help, she complained that i didnt do it like she wanted me to or like she would of done it.

ladies this is why most men dont want to help around the house its not that we are lazy we just dont want to help and then be drilled because you dont approve of our work!!!

this is not boot camp!!!

Answer 1

As a woman, I agree with you. Some things you have to delegate and just accept the results as being different. Just because they are not how YOU would do it, doesn't mean it isn't acceptable. Just be happy you have someone willing to do their share!

Answer 2

My husband knows a few things are off limits like washing clothes and making the bed. He doesn't do it the way I prefer so I would rather do those chores myself. However, he does the dishes, vacuums, and helps me clean the bathrooms, althought our children are now having to do this as part of their chores. We all say thank you when something is done, no matter who is responsible for the chore. It is called respect. Also, when I seem to be exhausted, my husband will ask "Is there anything I can do to help you?" If I say, no, I usually mean it and we leave it at that. He's pretty good to help me if I need extra help and ask for it.

Answer 3

I think laziness does factor in here. You "really" want to help but only in a half-*** sort of way?

You're right. It's not boot camp. It's YOUR HOME for goodness sakes! Take a role in maintaining it. If you both work then you both need to help around the house. If you think it can be done a better way, then try to convince her of that. But give 100% then you will have more say.

Answer 4

Well, first of all, I greatly appreciate my husband helping around the house. I just think that it's the woman's job to appreciate what her husband does to help around the house or vise versa. Men and women have to be able to appreciate what one does for the other. It's a team effort. In the same respect, men do it as well. A women tries to do something around the house or outside and the man points out everything that's not done and ignores what is done.

Answer 5

Well believe it or not to some women IT IS BOOT CAMP!
Especially if she likes everything to be clean and organized.
I personally am one of them. I used to complain about how my husband did the cleaning especially beacuse his mom never taught him how to do anything. I used to get really frustrated when he didn't clean things the right way and I was geting tired of telling him it wasn't right so what i did was show him how to clean things properly and with patience. Luckily he got it. Now the house is alot cleaner and he helps me out more. Especially now that I'm 7 months pregnant.

I figured it out! Thank God! Although sometimes he might forget to pick up his socks! It's ok though.

Answer 6

sit down with her and divide things up that are 'yours' and 'hers' to do. allow for constructive criticism but no complaining about the others work. Here is how my fiance and I work it out: The main chores in our house are dishes and laundry, especially with a combined total of four kids in the house. He hates laundry so he does dishes, I hate doing dishes so I do the laundry, it is always that way, we don't invade on the others chore and we make sure it gets done every day, occasionally we help each other but if for example I help put the dishes away, he is welcome to oversee where everything gets put away since he has a certain system and order going,same with if he helps me with the laundry, I usually have to show him how I prefer the towels be folded so they fit in the cabinet better. Other chores are divided and we try to keep criticism to a minimum unless we want to be left doing the chores by ourselves. We both work and it is nice to finally be with a man who understands that I work for a living too and the household chores are not all mine because I am a woman, they are an equal responsibility between us at the end of the day.
Talk to your lady and tell her, hey I like helping out but when you chastize me for it it makes me want to help out less, if you have a specific way you want a chore done, please show me and I will try my best to follow your routine
work together on it, if she is the one that normally does the chores she probably has a way she likes it done, ask her to share or compromise. Communication my friend is the key to EVERY relationship, even about the mundane boring things...
good luck

Answer 7

Well, sweetie = it takes time for us to learn how to let go and appreciate

half clean dishes- glasses have insides and outsides and plates have a bottom side too...

floors that were not swept up before scrubbing.. causing dirty water to dry on the edges or in the corners...

toilet bowls not cleaned under the rim or on the bottom of the seat...

Just takes us time to appreciate all those half fast jobs..
(smiles)

don't ya just luv it???
BUT & SO
next time... just say ***if you want it done right - then do it yourself***

Glady

Answer 8

Your ex was lucky most guys that I know don't and won't help out around the house, my husband included. But do you show her how thank ful you are when ever you come home and the house is clean? If you don't do it for her then why would she do it for you, most guys just take it for granted that we will do it, and if by chance you help out it feels like you want a reward or something, well we would like that as well but we don't get it and don't ask for it, so why should you.

Answer 9

Thank god she's your ex. It great having a guy who helps you out but girls need to accept the way they do things. If it gets clean that's all that matters. Who cares how you did the problem if you got the right solution. My mom does that to me all the time and I just want to strangle her. Keep doing things your way and find a chick who appreciates what you do for them. You deserve nothing less.

Answer 10

haha...
I am a woman, and you are ....RIGHT!
If unsure how she wants it done, ask first...avoid the criticism. There's no reason why you can't find a happy agreement on this. If how she wants it done is unreasonable, find something else you can do to help and let her do the things that she is super picky about.
Think of your job, and if someone was trying to help. It would be difficult to not instruct them just how you want it done, wouldn't it? It's the same thing.