i dont know if i should marry him. he is and abusive person to me but i love him. what should i do. HELP
2007-07-05 07:13:21 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People never change. They only get worse, and when you get married he might be controlling. Think twice; good luck.
2007-07-05 07:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by piksy_rose1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how much you love him, it sounds like he will never love you enough to treat you well. Frankly, you deserve better than an abusive partner. You will not be able to change him, no matter how hard you try. I think you need to take a long hard look at whether you really love someone who abuses you, or if you're mainly in love with just being with another person. There are other fish in the sea, and you will be much happier with someone who truly cares about your well-being and happiness. I advise you to decide that your happiness is worth waiting for the *right* guy, not settling for the jerk who is in your life *right now*.
2007-07-05 08:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by nardhelain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married an abusive man when I was 18 years old, because in my mind I thought that I could change him. It did change him...he got worse. Eventually he began abusing my children and I starting planning our escape. That was almost 5 years ago and to this day I am taking my children to a therapist because of all the problems they have because of my stupid choice. I regret my decision every day of my life and I feel so guilty about the hell that I put my children through. Do not marry this man.
2007-07-05 07:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by Angela F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's abusive to you he doesn't respect you. Don't marry him with the hopes of "changing" him. It won't. You deserve better. It may hurt like hell at first ,but you need to leave him. There's plenty of good men out there. Plain and simple no matter how much you love him, your love is not enough to make it stop. That is a change HE must do on his own. Don't fall for the "I'll stop when we get married", either.
2007-07-05 07:21:01 · answer #4 · answered by spiffymo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the answer is in the question, I don't doubt your love for him but it is 'painfully' obvious he does not love you. There is no excuse for a man to be abusive to you and if he even thinks about being so, he should be immediately cut from your life. Being alone is better than being abused. Do not marry any man that abuses you, it is a control issue he is dealing with but regardless, pounding you is not the best therapy for him, suggest he seeks mental help and get the hell out!!
2007-07-05 07:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by ORetha V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, unless you want a life full of abuse.
People (including him) are worthy of love, but this does not give them a free license to treat you or anyone else in an abusive way.
If you do marry him without him getting help/treatment to change, then you are basically telling him that how he is acting now is ok because you are agreeing to marry him with his abusive behavior.
2007-07-05 07:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. sure...go ahead- marry him....please have lots and lots of children so they too can be in an abusive environment...here's an idea- start slipping them some street drugs as they get older (I'd start by 2 or 3 at the LATEST)...statistically (somewhere I'm sure) drug usage increases based upon your home life....perhaps you too could start a new hobby- I've heard oxy-cotin makes things all nice and fuzzy.....
ok....if you are still reading-
- you have the "sense" to ask the question- and you already know the answer (whenevr anyone asks an opinion question, you already know the answer- you are looking for someone to have the same opinion as you do)
- you have access to a computer....get the f**k off of Yahoo answers and find a support group
2007-07-05 07:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by jmd72inva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT MARRY HIM! The abuse will only get worse and you could end up seriously hurt or even killed. Tell him how you feel and have him get help, he needs to take some anger management classes...if he doesn't do it, he doesn't really love you.
2007-07-05 07:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by Cupcakes Moosey! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry him unless he proves that he can change. No one needs to stay in an abusive relationship. Maybe you should show him that you aren't going to take it anymore. Does he realize that he is being abusive? I had an ex-brother-in-law that didn't know he was abusive until we showed him. Maybe the best thing to do is to tell him unless he changes that you are going to leave him. I know you love him but maybe it will be for the best.
2007-07-05 07:21:27 · answer #9 · answered by Karen K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know the answer, you don't need us to tell you. But just in case: No, you should not marry him. Why marry someone you KNOW is an abuser? Is your self-esteem so low that you believe you deserve it?
2007-07-05 07:21:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!! Do not marry someone who is abusive they obviously dont truly love you. Once the abuse starts it never stops. It could wind up getting you killed, you should get out of that relationship immediatley. YOU DESERVE BETTER
2007-07-05 07:20:01 · answer #11 · answered by DragnFlyzBaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋