Does she has the right?

Question

I am married and I know lady who is divorced. I have 4 kids and she has 3. We are having a sexual relation for the last 6 months. Today, while we were in the train, she had some ininnocent look with a guy. I didn't like that. I told her later that I didn't like that. I was polite and didn't try to hurt her when telling her that. I told her if she is going to do that, she'd better do it when am not with her. She told me that I don't have the right to say that and I shouldn't express such feelings casue we are not married or engaged or committed.
Do you think that I don't have the right to say how I feel? I know that it is an awkward situation that am married. However, this is the situation.

Answer 1

You got nothing bud.

Answer 2

You may not like what I am going to say but if there is one thing I am, it's brutally honest.
I don't know how this situation will turn out for you, I do know that I have something to say on the matter.

You say that you are married, you say that she is divorced, you say that you are in a sexual relationship...WELL that's your first problem.
Let me leave you with this.

You are Married...YOU must have LOOKED at her, like she looked at THAT man. SHE must have LOOKED back at you because the two of you are together today.

NOW you had better hope that one day IF YOU TWO marry, She doesn't LOOK at a MAN, like YOU LOOKED at her while you were married. Because then you will be walking in the same shoes as YOUR wife is right now.

Answer 3

on one hand i don't think you have the right to tell her what she can or cannot do because for one you are married which is awful that you are doing this, and second like she said you all are not married and are not comitted to each other and with that being said she probably did that to make you jealous so you would make some kind of comittment to her which i donot know why she would want one with you because you are a cheater and a liar because you are a married man. i think you should do some real soul searching and figure this out and think about telling your wife i don't know your situation but if you are not fulfilled in your relationship you should let it go and save your wife and yourself a whole world of hurt by her finding out from you and not any other way.

Answer 4

She is divorced with 3 kids. You have 4 kids by another female. You are married, but not to the woman you are now having sex with. You are cheating on your wife with a strange woman. This strange woman is looking at another man and that is making you angry. What goes around comes around.
Go back to the woman you are married to and the mother of your children, reconcile with her, be a leader in your family and stop trying to be the father of our nation. When have you last seen your 4 children? Are you surprised that this woman who is divorced from her husband and having sex with (you)= someone else's husband is now, looking to cheat on you? Why do you think her husband got a divorce from her? Yes. You do have a right to state your feelings but regretfully, they are not justified under your present circumstances because bigamy is illegal in the USA. Adultery(extramarital sex) is illegal too. Divorcing someone for frivolous reasons, except for adultery, is petty and ungodly. Two "wrongs" do not make this situation right. Clean up your act.
.

Answer 5

You have no rights. Sorry. Feelings sure, but rights, no. I'm not going to judge you for cheating on your wife. That is between you and your wife and your girlfriend. I will tell you that I had an affair with a married man once, years ago, when I was recently divorced and it was a huge mistake in my life that I regret. I would never do it again even though he loved me and I loved him and he had no feelings for his wife, just as she had no feelings for him. Still, since he was MARRIED, even though he treated me well, called and came to see me everyday that he could, lavished me with trips and presents and attention, I was always lonely for him on weekends and holidays and was "the other woman." I'm not proud of this but it is part of my past. When I realized that I could not handle being "the other woman", I told him I was going to start dating again. He became furious. He felt that because he treated me well, I should be faithful to him as he believed he was to me since he and his wife did not sleep together. I felt he had no right to put this restriction on me because I was looking for something more than just a relationship which could go nowhere. I had to break if off completely with him so that I could invest my emotional energy in pursuing something that could. Again, I'm not judging you and I think it sucks that she was scoping out an other guy is front of you, but you have no rights regarding her.

Answer 6

You always have the right to express calmly and maturely how you feel. However - since you are a married man already cheating on your wife - then there seems little point in jealousy over your mistress. You are using her and she is using you. Perhaps she feels if she makes you jealous you will commit to her. My advice is to end the affair and seek counseling (if your wife is willing) to see if you can save your marriage.

Answer 7

You are in a tough spot. You will need to evalutate your relationships. On one hand you might feel like she is disrespecting you by flirting, on the other she may feel that your relationship is not a real one because you are unable to fully commit to her by being married. Try asking yourself, how do you see this relationship progressing? What do you really what out of it. It sounds like you might want something more than just a physical relationship with this woman. She on the other hand may feel that the relationship is nothing but physical. Try talking to her about her definition of the relationship. Try to come to a compromise on what the relationship will be and what it is based on. I do think that your being married has made this relationship much more complicated and your likely to see this continue to be a rising issue. She might have difficulty trusting you to be committed to her because in a way you are betraying both the relationship with her and with your wife. Her flirting may be a reation to her mistrust. We often react in anger when there is an issue in us that needs to be dealt with. Maybe you are trying to meet your needs through deficient relationships. You might think about counseling.

Answer 8

The situation is you are married and have absolutely no right to comment on what your divorced lover does and who she does it with. You are lovers... that's it; nothing more. It makes no difference how polite you are; what's lacking here is good common sense. My guess is your divorced lover is getting weary of being in a dead end relationship with you and is starting to cast her net out a little farther.

Answer 9

Regardless of your legal status with her, it is consider a marital relationship between you and her. And, it is also your legal status with her isn't clear to both of you, it is normal it may occur.

She might think there is no commitment with you. And you think she belongs to you because of the sexual activity.

Look she had 3 children with her ex, she can say she is connected to her husband because of sexual activity too.

Well, my point is that you and her don't have a clear understanding of the relationship status. Are you, two, committed to take of each other belongings?

Sex doesn't mean anything at this point because you have sex more than 4 times with your ex-wife, too. What can you current date think of you leaving her at any moment?

Another point about her looking at other guys, you probably got jealous with her actions. Again, is she committed to you because of sex activity?

You both should make thing straight for the sake of the children and your better peace of mind. Parent's action gives a lot impact to children and who they are going to be in the future.

If you both don't know how to love each other and don't know how to build a family, get start with marriage counsel, learn about parenting, learn about each other roles, get legal status more clear... do something beneficial too all including your and hers children.

Answer 10

What a nice guy you are. Being considerate about your girlfriends feelings, you weren't trying to hurt her when telling her this. Too bad your wife and kids don't get the same consideration from you. You're a real class act!

Answer 11

LOLOLOL....these kind of questions from people like you kill me. What right do you have to say anything?
Come on ....you're married and you're mad cuz she was checking someone else out. Maybe that's a sign she's giving you that she's sick of being the mistress and she's ready to move on. You should have those feelings about your wife dude!