My husband left 6 months ago. We have two young children. We did fight often over finances and his lack of wanting to work a full time job. One night I asked him about a girl and he got mad and left. He kept threatening divorce so I finally went ahead and filed to give him what he wants. Oh and by the way he was cheating on me with that girl. Two months later he confessed and she had dumped him for her ex. I love my husband and I understand people make mistakes. Our divorce is almost final just waiting on the papers. As soon as he left he went and got a full time job and still has his part time as well. Why couldn't he do that when we were married? It seems like all he wants to do now is hang out with his friends. He doesn't even seem to care too much about the kids. He just takes them because it is court ordered and his friends love my kids especially some new girl or lady. What do I do to get over him or get him back?
2007-07-05 06:18:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you want him back? Because misery loves company? Grow some ovaries will you? You weren't happy when he was around. He leaves and clearly wants to hang out with pals. The only reason he works is because he needs the income to have a place to stay, to eat and money to have fun with. He had all of that when he was with you. What makes you think he'll be any different?
Get real and have some pride woman!
2007-07-05 06:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to getting him back and getting over him are the same answer. Move on with you life, by taking one day at a time. Now I know this may sound redundant, and not very helpful...but take it from personal experience...What sparks a man's interest in a woman, more than anything is Curiosity. Let me say that again, Curiosity. Men love the unknown, you need to become the unknown to him again. And I am not talking about getting some kind of makeover physically, but a makeover in your inner-self. Switch it up on him. If you use to run when he calls, don't do it anymore. If you entertain a fight over the kids, money, etc... Don't...get independent...Get a nanny and go out...Try your best not to care about the other woman, instead do what you enjoy. I assure you in time, he will wonder if you still care, why things have changed, and spark a level of attraction in him, he has never had before.
The bad news is, is that this cannot be faked or acted out. Men can see right through that, no matter how good you can pretend your doing your own thing. So really do your own thing. Like I said in the beginning, this will also help you get over him...this is a win win situation. Love you first, and I assure you, his love will come tumbling after. Men love women who can hold their own, and who are not emotional unavailable. Google Christian Carter...he has good love advice...Jen
2007-07-05 06:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that he isn't too unhappy about the divorce if he isn't even making an effort. And, I know from experience, once a cheater-always a cheater. You deserve someone that will love you and you alone and that will care about your kids as well as you. I wish you the best of luck. I know that your perfect man is out there, just keep looking.
2007-07-05 06:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Momof3inIL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this rule... People break up for a reason, so stay broken up.
Listen you got little kids to worry about. Show them what a strong woman is, not a weak one who is looking for any scrap of attention her cheating, absent ex-husband will throw to her.
Move on, I know it will be hard, probably the hardest thing that you will every do. But you got to live your life on your terms.
People make mistakes. But your ex is making a conscious decision to sleep around and hang with friends. The last thing on his mind is making sure his little babies are happy and feeling secure about their lives now that he decided to up and leave. Be strong.
2007-07-05 06:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by Liviyaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not want him back. Things will not change, probably because he thinks as soon as he gets into a marriage, then you have to take care of him. Time will make things better. Just keep yourself distracted. Find something you really enjoy or go out with girlfriends a lot. Keep as busy as possible.
2007-07-05 06:23:15 · answer #5 · answered by hotchic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, as time will take care of that. If he would choose to come back (it would be his decision, not yours) I would think hard on it before letting him. How does he find time to hang with friends if he's working full and a part time?
2007-07-05 06:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the things you are saying that he doesn't care much for his kids and want to hang out with his friends then dump his ***. Getting over him is hard it just takes time...
2007-07-05 06:26:57 · answer #7 · answered by *AntA mAriA* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems that he's already gone and theres nothing you can do to get him back when theres no love on the other side. so the best thing is for you to get over him and let time go by, you'll meet someone who would really love u and appreciate u
2007-07-05 06:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by hey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You need to move on from him. He sounds immature. Are you guys young marrieds? You need to move on with your life. get out and meet some new people , hang out with your friends, surround yourself with people who love you and enjoy your company. It will get better... keep you head high girlie!
2007-07-05 06:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by Mitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sad reading this. Give him sometime,let his ego cool down. he is angry that u took such a big step to divorce him
if he comes back he is ur or he never was urs
2007-07-05 06:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋