In the real world is it possible to be faithful to one person? Is loyalty not more important than faithfulness

Question

I think faithfulness is too ideal but loyalty is more real. In a sex permissive world, we may all get unfaithful sometimes but we may as well have one person we cherish so much and always come back to despite our many flirtations. see Bill and Hillary, Isn't it Loyalty that has sustained the relationship? In the real world can we be rigidly faithful to one person or it's loyalty that matters.

Answer 1

Of course this is very subjective. Different people have different real worlds. It is a valid and good question and you do define your viewpoint when you state the premise as "a sex permissive world," well done. In a sex permissive world, all bets are off. In a world where there is meaning in relationships and dignity in not being selfish, one can find how faithfulness is not only easy, but thoroughly fulfilling. Loyalty will follow suit.

I believe Hillary stuck with Bill because it is best for her career, she's a very smart woman.

Unfortunately, it seems as though people want things easy and without consequesces. Love is something which many people do not understand in the least. They may say the word, but if you don't understand it, it means nothing.

Faithfulness and loyalty are part of love. If you are unfailthful, your loyalty seems to be negated. No?

Answer 2

I think you are segregating the two terms in neatly separate categories, and the issue isn't that simplistic. I think there is some parallel and crossing between the terms. If a man slept around with a different woman every single night of the year, but always came back to his wife after, I don't think he could be called loyal in any real sense. Bill and Hillary isn't the best example of loyalty because there may be factors other than loyalty (political) that are central to their staying together. If an American citizen went out and committed treason over and over, but wanted to remain an American citizen at the end of the day, I don't think you could in any sense call that person a loyal citizen.

So to answer your question directly, both faithfulness and loyalty matter. They are like gears that mesh. And I don't think you can successfully separate faithfulness from loyalty and end up with a loyalty that means anything.

Answer 3

A GOOD relationship can heal.

Let's put it this way - if everyone always behaved perfectly and never made any mistakes, it would take no skill at all to be in a lasting, commited relationship. But people do NOT behave perfectly. People DO make mistakes. And anyone who expects their love to be perfect in every way is living in a dream world and is doomed to unhappiness in the world outside their mind.

Your love WILL lie to you. Maybe not a big lie. Maybe just a lie of omissions. Maybe even a white lie. But it WILL happen. Your love WILL be unfaithful to you. Maybe they won't sleep around. Maybe they'll just occasionally have a fantasy which they don't even hope will come true. But it WILL happen.

It is these PROBLEMS that tell a good relationship from a bad one. A strong love survives hardship. It is only a house of glass that comes crashing down when a stone is thrown.

Call it loyalty, understanding, or just plain love. But THAT is what is good relationship is about.

Answer 4

If you are not being faithful, you are not being loyal. It is that simple.

Since discovering Bill's unfaithfulness and seeing Hillary's response (nothing publicly but standing by her man), I lost all the respect I had for her. I have always felt Hillary stayed for political reasons, and since she has decided to run for President my suspicions have only been strengthened.

There will be people who want a woman in office so badly they will allow their better judgment to be clouded. It's a shame. Maybe she is loyal to Bill, but how do we know she'll be faithful to the American people? Will you think she's loyal when she becomes a bedfellow with other countries?

I'm sorry, we are not animals, we are people. If a person thinks he/she must be sexually permissive while in an exclusive relationship with someone, then I think it would be best for the other person if said cheater just got out of the relationship and got on with his/her bedding forays.

Anyone who does what you are suggesting has no concept of respect. Perhaps that person has no idea how the "exclusive partner" is going to be negatively impacted and quite possibly ruined emotionally by the cheater's thoughtless choices and actions. What right does anyone have to hurt another human being in that way?

Answer 5

Yes, loyalty is important in any circumstances at an time. But It makes perfect sense to make sure, though, that we are first and formost loyal and faithful to ourselves. That is the first thing we are taught in school. At least, the school I went to as a child. I was taught "To thine own self be true" That, I think, means that If we are true and loyal and faithful to ourselves first, then everything else will fall into place. If that means making sure that we do what our inner heart tells us and that means to stay with one certain person "Until death do us part" then I guess we can say that we are loyal, faithful, etc. But does that mean that we shouldn't be happy. I think not. If it means that we are not happy being with this person. Then loyalty goes out the door, window, down the sink, in the garbage. Take care and be happy.

Answer 6

Can you explain to us what you perceive the difference to be? I think these are too synonymous to differentiate. Perhaps you are looking for a way to rationalize your behavior due to some poor choices you have made. Someone might stay with you, or you with them, even though one or both of you has been unfaithful. Is that loyalty, or just dependency? There can be many reasons (not all positive) that people stay together. It takes real strength of character to avoid temptation, and walk the higher path.

Answer 7

I see no distinction between loyalty and fidelity. Who in their right mind, except if there was some measure of over-riding self interest, would allow themselves to be used in the manner in which you describe? You are not describing loyalty, but manipulation. Are you seeking permission or justification in your attempt at an intellectual distinction between the fidelity and loyalty?

Answer 8

Life is full of hypocrisy. Not many are faithful nor loyal, precisely. Though it takes a combination of both to be a good mankind but some will go either way.

Answer 9

It's indeed a sad, sad world when we accept even a little promiscuity in a relationship. If this is the state your in, I don't think your ready for a commited relatioship. Relationships are hard, but if you love someone, you'll work at it. Accepting anything beyond absolute faithfulness is not something I (and I hope others) can do.

Answer 10

of course its possible to be faithful to one person. that's part of loyalty. i don't separate the two.