What should happen when your spouse admittedly has feelings for another, but won't stop talking to them?

Question

We have a one year old together.

Answer 1

I think it is time to go.

Answer 2

Not much you can do if your spouse won't quit talking to "someone else" and is indulging in their own selfish feelings. Your spouse could stop this communication and focus on your marriage, but they are not doing that. Why?

If you are a male - this would be a good time to start planning one-on-one dates with your wife and spending time every day talking to her without being distracted by the tv or anything else. Women did the emotional connection with their spouse as much as men need that sexual connection with their spouse - that is each gender's way of feeling close and loved. So, if you are a woman - ininiate sex more often.

Answer 3

I was in this situation. I thought that I could work it out with him. However, if they are not willing to work on it, then divorce is the only answer. He said she was only a friend (14 years younger and they could talk about anything, I thought we talked about everything, apparently not) We have 1 child together, 20 years together, but he refused to stop talking to her. I asked him to stop, to see a counselor, he would do nothing. I told him I was leaving him, which I did and eventually divorced him. And I loved him but I was not going to be made a fool and let him to walk all over me. Sometimes in the hardest times of our lives, we must put out feet flat on the floor, take a stand, stand by our decision and move on. I did and I'm and a better person for it. Good luck.

Answer 4

One year together and she has feelings for another.
I would ask her serious questions about her past relationships, for example:
Has she ever cheated?
How often did she just from one relationship into another?

Once you have a better idea of her character you will have a better idea on what is going on. If she is a serial cheater then I would so this is part of her character and I recommend to cut and run. However, if this is not a normal thing then I would look at your own behavior. Some people try so hard to MAKE the other person happy that they end up pushing them away. Loving is accepting each other for who they truly are (good and more importantly bad). If you are always trying to please her then you are only showing the good and NOT letting her accept you. Being true to yourself allows her to better know you and love you.
Remember that each of us are responsible for our own happiness, which we can share with other to make them happier, we still can't MAKE them happy (that's their job).

Answer 5

I really dont know, my mans cheated on me several times throughout our 8 years together and probably will again, it is just something I accept for the time being. I feel like a piece of ****, I feel disrespected, betrayed, heartbroken, but we also have four children together, and I am not able at this moment to take him on. In time, In time. I am in school right now, that is my priority, to better myself, so I can go be on my own with my children. I am at the point where I believe men are the scum of the earth. I never want another relationship. Being cheated on is a terrible feeling, a feeling of no self worth, you are just there cause they need your help raising the family. My kids are number one to me, and until I know I can financially raise them on my own, I will stay right here, and he will help.

Answer 6

What do you think should happen? How is this obvious disrespect be okay with you? She can justify it by saying she has told you about it. Then you just sit by and let it happen. Why would you let her do this to you? I can't speak for you but if I where you it is simple. I'd say I appreciate your honesty and I hope you can appreciate mine. Then I would continue with " This must stop and if you love or have any feelings left for me then all communication w/ this other must stop now and if it does not then one of us must leave" . It should be that black and white. What if the tables where turned do you think she would be such a good sport? Good luck :)

Answer 7

You need to ask your spouse whether she would ever act on any of the feelings she has for this other person, she needs to be honest with herself, she doesn't have to tell you the answer, but if she thinks maybe something could happen then she will probably stop the relationship without any pushing from you.
If she thinks nothing would ever happen then yours and hers relationship is a good one and you should be glad.

Good luck xx

Answer 8

If this were me I would give my husband a chance to change his behavior, for the sake of the child. If he didn't, I would file for divorce. As hard as this sounds, you can't go on living like this forever. You deserve to be treated with respect. They may only be talking now, but how long will that last? If she admittedly has feelings for this guy, it's going to lead to more. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I know from experience how difficult this is. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 9

I'm sure there is more going on than you have been told. Get yourself a lawyer and put an end to this relationship. Your being cheated on, get away from this person as soon as possible and take your baby with you. Cheaters are the scum of the earth, you do not want your child associated with this person.

Answer 10

Is that 'spouse' a husband or wife and legally married?

1) If married, fight for that marriage. Try all you can to have his/her feelings only for you.
2) If only a 'live-in'. It is high time to separate.

Answer 11

You should go to counseling together and discuss why she can't stop interacting with someone she's attracted to. Maybe the answer will be that she doesn't feel like she has to act on her impulses. Which is fine for you.