Is this lonliness or is it just a case of not living a full life?

Question

Lately ive been feeling lonely. Ive felt this way before while i was single for a long time. Then I met a girl and thought that I was in love.........but Im not sure if it was love really. Think maybe it was just infatuation or soemthing like that. Anyway we went out for a few months but then we broke up. Before i met her i felt lonely, like there was something missing in my life. I thought having someone special would take that feeling away. But it didnt. I mean it did help some, kinda pappered over the cracks I think, however I still felt a bit empty. When we broke up I was kinda relieved because it was a very stressful relationship and so for a while I was fine. But now a few months later that feeling of loneliness has returned and im thinking id like a girlfriend as i pretty much feel all alone in life.Only this time im not so sure that thats whats really going on. Maybe that feeling is something inside me telling me that im not making the most out of my life? what do you think?

Answer 1

Perhaps your feeling is very right. You are perhaps really not making the most out of your life, and your potential. I am kinda in your shoes, and I can relate. Maybe you need goals you feel very passionate about. Career goals, and other goals that make you feel more alive. You also need strong friendships, and a good social life, perhaps even before a partner. You are right, a partner helps some, but really, at the end of it all, our partner is a completely different person than us, and they can't fill our shoes, or do our inner work for our lives or even understand it fully. We all have a duty to ourselves and our lives. A partner is sharing that life, but they can't carry the load of our lives. That'd be an unfair expectation. To be our best to them, we have to feel the best we can. And we should strive towards taking care of ourselves and living a full life. Make a list of all that that lights you up, and make it happen. Get friends together and have fun. Visit your family and reall care for them. Think about what you can contribute to society and do your bit. Think what changes u can do careerwise to be more in line with "who u are and what you want", so you feel motivated to go to work and feel it's time well-spent. Exercise regularly, sleep well, eat well. Make your foundations strong. And start small. Start with 1 thing you will do today. It's the little steps you take that lead you to success eventually. Really wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Well, I think your first issue is the depression. You really can't be happy unless you are happy with yourself. Happiness really starts with you. It doesn't sound like you have bad depression though. Meaning it doesn't sound like it has totally consumed you to the point where you wont get out of bed every morning. I think you need to talk to a professional though. I am not saying you need meds but, sometimes talk therapy works wonders. Sometime talking things out really unties some of the knots in your head. You may be right. You might need to make some changes in your life to get you back on track. Perhaps you job is not fulfilling or your relationship with your family could be better. There are all kinds of things underneth the surface that might be weighing you down and you don't even realize it. That is why talking with a councilor will help a lot. A lot of people do it these days. It is very therapudic. Also, I am not sure if you exercise at all but, going for a bike ride or a run helps also. It helps your body release endorphins which causes you to have those feeling of happiness. But, your best bet is to go and talk to someone and see if you just need some life changes. OK, take care and I hope you feel better.

Answer 3

We all get lonely its a natural feeling. I was married for 25 years and separated just over a year ago. Well i can tell you the first 4 months were great i was alone i could do what i wanted go where i wanted. And had no one to answer to. The remaining 4 months of that first year sucked i became lonely. I missed my kids and the ex. Or i should say i missed having people around me. And the noise, sounds and smells of a busy people filled place. Now in my second year of separation and this year is my year. I've gotten busy back to the gym. took a couple of cooking classes. And picked up a few more hours at work. I no longer sit at home alone feeling lonely. I suggest you look at your life see where you can increase things to do. And do them meet new people take up a hobby just do something. Anything except sit round and think about being lonely. Once you fall into the trap of self doubt and pity its very hard to climb and move on. So don't fall into it get get moving and enjoy life.

Answer 4

All of your ideas can be a true. Although depression can make one confused in ones feelings and needs. You may need to consider and address what may be depression before you seek a new relationship.
The loneliness you felt while in the relationship doesn't mean that it isn't companionship you are seeking. It means that there was something fundamentally missing from the relationship. Maybe you didn't connect the way 2 people who are truly in love feel. Maybe you were holding something back that was stopping her. There will always be stress in a relationship but if there is true love and it is both mentally, physically and emotionally fulfilling the stress is a minor detail to overcome.
You need to understand yourself and what your needs and desires are. Who you are, where you are going etc etc. Take time to reflect and to respect yourself.

Answer 5

nicely, i think of your first concern is the melancholy. you relatively will no longer be able to be satisfied till you're satisfied with your self. Happiness fairly starts with you. It would not sound such as you have undesirable melancholy however. which skill it would not sound like it has completely fed on you to the element the place you wont get off the mattress each morning. i think of you ought to communicate with a expert however. i'm no longer asserting you pick meds yet, each so often communicate therapy works wonders. sometime speaking issues out fairly unties the a number of knots on your head. you're suitable. you could ought to make some differences on your existence to get you decrease back on the right song. perchance you activity isn't pleasing or your relationship with your loved ones ought to be extra constructive. There are all styles of issues underneth the floor which would be weighing you down and you do no longer even realize it. because of the fact of this speaking with a councilor will help lots. an excellent type of human beings do it at present. it fairly is rather therapudic. additionally, i'm not sure in case you workout in any respect yet, going for a bike trip or a run facilitates additionally. It facilitates your physique launch endorphins which motives you to have those feeling of happiness. yet, your ultimate wager is to bypass and communicate with somebody and notice in case you in simple terms pick some existence differences. ok, take care and that i'm hoping you experience extra constructive.

Answer 6

I went through the EXACT same thing a year ago. It is almost creepy. What i felt helped the most was surrounding myself around friends and people who care. At first after breaking up with my girlfriend (who ended up being a pain after a while) i was relieved but eventually i felt that empty feeling, not because i missed her but because i missed that someone that was always there for me and someone who would always be there.

Answer 7

Maybe you feel lonely because you haven't met 'The One' in your life? Or maybe you want to go out more and hang with friends or something. Perhaps it's because you yearn to do something in life and haven't done so already? Like travel, see places you've always wanted to go etc? -Not sure about this- but perhaps you suffer from depression or something along those lines?

Answer 8

First of all you need to address the loneliness, as it appears that you are suffering from a form of depression, in that you are not able to sense a difference in your feelings weather alone of with another person. Kind of a deading of the senses .

Answer 9

It sounds like both to me. It also sounds like you had the wrong person and maybe you were just settling. What makes you happy?.....do more of that as simple as it sounds.

Answer 10

if you need a girlfriend it loneliness, and you could become co-dependant if you WANT a girlfriend is for the right reason,