i have raised my son all on my own. he is now 8. i got married last year to a girl i dated for 2 years. she wanted to get married and be his mommy. she even had him call her mom. 6 months into the marriage she decided to no longer be a mom or a wife, led a seperate life with me stuck at home all the time as she did whatever, whenever. after 6 months of pleading with her to come back to me spiritually, she told me i was not in her heart, she couldnt be intimate with me and resented us. so i packed her stuff and kicked her out. was i right? i tried for 6 months to make her happy.
2007-07-05 04:30:30 · 15 answers · asked by amayseng 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you did the right thing. You did what she should have, if she wasn't happy with you she should have left. Hopefully your son can recover from the heartache. Make him your top priority, that should help you both get over her, with out feeling all the heartache.
2007-07-05 04:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by ofsoundmind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After the excitement and romance of being engaged and then married relationships can suffer an anti-climax especially for the girl. Its even worse for the girl if it seemed like the marriage was something she wanted more than the man, it wont stop her wanting it though strangely enough. Allot of men cant see what the fuss is all about and are quite lost for words and expression when a girl sets her heart on that big day. Many girls get quite lost and caught up in the excitement, romance and the attention that marriage brings and don't properly consider that they are making a decision that is going to tie them to one person for the rest of their life. The romantic idea of being a wife and a mother is often very different when it all becomes real. What was something this girl wanted had then become something she had to do and I think this is maybe what happened, she felt trapped and did everything to make herself feel free leaving you feeling unloved. I don't know if it was the right thing to do to end the relationship but you will know that in time. What I can say for sure though is that it could be emotionally harm full to your little boy to allow a girl to take the place of of his mother at her suggestion. I strongly believe that it should be the child who adopts an adult as a parent and not the other way around. A child has one mother and one father though it is a lovely thing if your child becomes close enough to your partner to consider them as a parent figure they will only ever be that and will never be the child's mother. You need to think about how many relationships you could potentially have in your life time and how many times your child may go through the experience of loosing a parent because the relationships break down. I have raised my girls on my own and my oldest is 22. It was always a very long time before my children were involved in my personal relationships, in fact for quite a few years I had relationships with men for all the reasons we all need a partner but I made it very clear from the start that the relationship would never be going anywhere and it worked very well for me while my children were young. I have a male friend who is also a single parent and I have helped out in the raising of his little girl so I know how hard it is for a man to raise a child alone. Men are not social creatures and often feel like a square peg when picking their child up from school. I could go on but needless to say my heart goes out to you and my hat is off to you for taking on the task of raising your child on your own. It is something that you need to be one hundred percent commited to though and you will need to make so many sacrifices but you will also gain so many rewards as you see your boy grow in to a fine young man.
2007-07-05 07:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes you did good . One thing you need to do is stop begging woman it looks like crap on you . Put a smile on your face and be yourself .If woman don't like it then show them the door .I have a son raising him myself from two months old he is 4 going on 5 soon . I'm not looking to get married at all but i do have girlfriends . Ive been proposed to 7 times in the last 3 years for the simple fact i keep a smile and im happy with myself people just attract to good vibes . Stop thinking about the woman and think about the good times you can have with your son the next thing you know woman will be coming out of the wood work wanting to be happy with you . That's all they want is to be happy to and most don't know how sometimes you have to spread it around.
2007-07-05 04:49:37 · answer #3 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u waited for 6 months. not too many people would do that nowadays. everybody is in for fast love and fast relationships. u waited for her 4 six months. did u ask her what was bothering her? was it because she felt a little left out in ur relationstion with ur son or something like that. if u think tht she is acting like this ebcause she may have a genuine proble, then i would ask u to have a chat with her. if it is within ur power to solve it, then do it and be happy once again. afterall u had dated her for two years. u might know her better. if u feel that it is something else then i wouuld say taht the best option will be to get on with ur life. surely for six months' waiting, u deserve a better reward. all the very best to u
2007-07-05 04:38:41 · answer #4 · answered by lilac4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right to do it. You wouldn't want your son to grow up thinking he should stay with someone that didn't love him would you? If she resents you, that's her problem not yours, she didn't have to marry you. Take your time, find a nice girl to date or settle down with, all good things come to those who wait lol. Apparently your doing a good job raising your son thus far, you don't necessarily need a woman in your life just to be a good parent.
2007-07-05 04:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by ice_princess51047 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn right you did the right thing!
She obviously took your son as a joke. As sick as it sounds she probably thought that is was "cute" or "fun" to play mommy.
As time went on she probably saw that you can't just play mommy! You have to be a REAL mom and be a mature person to be a mother / stepmother.
Don't feel bad....you did the right thing.
2007-07-05 04:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by alymar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh buddy, where you right! I think she used your son to get to you. She thought you were going to be an easy free ride. Don't feel bad for kicking her out. You did good. Her happiness should never interfere with the happiness if your child.
2007-07-05 04:34:40 · answer #7 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are right, but didn't she told you her reasons? It's not normal to just all of a sudden change your mood and say it's time to quit, I just don't like it anymore. But why? There must be a very big deal reason for that. Unless she is really weird and some psychological problems, well pardon me.
2007-07-05 04:40:21 · answer #8 · answered by Gem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you imagine how your son felt being played that way! Shes a cold hearted witch that didnt take your sons feelings into consideration...so yea, you did the right thing..............for your sons sake!!! Your a good dada!
2007-07-05 04:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right to kick her out...Apparently, she didnt weight her options when she decided she wanted to play mommy and wifey...And from what you are saying, she sounds like she never really wanted to fill the shoes of your child's mother...
2007-07-05 04:35:46 · answer #10 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋