finding out that your daughter is Bi sexual....?

Question

i often wondered the last few years if my daughter was a bit different but i wanted her to come to me and tell me but she didnt. i was on her my space and noticed that she said she was BI Sexual in her personal information... so i had to ask her "darlin are you gay"and she said yes but she liked guys too... the only thing i said was UGGGGGGGGGGGG well now im not going to have any grand kids now am I . and she said yes i still might have kids...
then i started thinking about it later and just wanted to cry... i have already been a failier in my familys eyes due to a bad first marrage and now my son is in jail for taking the blame for something he didnt do and my daughter is gay...
god , why me... is all i could think of ... what did i do to deserve this? all i wanted to do was have smart healthy kids and a good marrage,BAM i was shot down in everything. both my kids are smart but do stupid things and my marrage ended due to my first husband being a stinking child molester. WHY ME

Answer 1

Well now that your pity party is done... Sorry I have no pity for you, because you are stressing out that your daughter is "gay" when she's not. Your daughter is bi, she can still have kids, infact even if she was gay, she could still have children. I think you need to focus on yourself and better you, for you, not for your family. We all get compared to someone else in our family, heck I know I'm compared to my evil sister by my grandparents all the time. I've realized that I'm sure I'm the black sheep and it really doesn't bother me. Why? Because I'm still living my life for me, not for them. Take pride in your kids actions that have done good things and work with them to correct anything negative. Support your daughter in her bisexuality if you want to have a relationship with her, as nothing about her has changed. Keep being proud of her and a good mother to her. good luck! :)

Answer 2

Lady the only reason of "why you" is because you're making it all about you.

With your daughter, you're in denial or something, I don't know, because you're obviously not listening to her. She's bisexual, she likes men and women. She may settle with a woman, or with a man, but either way she's not infertile. She actually sounds like she's got it together.

You though, are a drama queen, making this all about you.

So your husband was an idiot, fine, he's your EX-husband for a reason, get over it. So your kid's in jail, fine, so what? He'll get out sooner or later, all you can do is hope jail sets him straight.

So your daughter is bisexual, so what? How does this make her a failure? It doesn't.

None of these are about you, they're about them. You're just internalizing it because you enjoy being the victim, you enjoy the attention, and having people say "there there deary, it's okay, just a run of poor luck." Well get your head out of your ***.

This isn't about you.

Oh and there's a reason your daughter didn't come out to you, and the reason is probably because she knew you'd respond with "UGGGGGGGGGGGG" followed by a nagging guilt trip.

Maybe if you were less of a drama queen your daughter would actually feel she could be honest with you.

And again, your daughter isn't a lesbian, she's bisexual. If you weren't a drama queen you'd actually listen to her when she's telling you that.

So stop being a drama queen, the world doesn't revolve around you. You need to be a good mother and stop judging your daughter so that you can nurture and love her and encourage her to do well, and so you can have her grow into a woman you can be proud of.

Kids are supposed to be about selflessness, not selfishness, remember that.

PS: It is interesting that you are getting parenting advice from people who you yourself think have no kids or parenting ability. Maybe this should give you some insight into how being LGBT doesn't predetermine your ability to parent or your fertility.

Answer 3

in the adventure that your "buddy" would not have confidence her daughter to the quantity she feels the ought to snoop via her emails then she would not deserve her daughters' have confidence decrease back. You daughter desires to renowned she will have confidence you, exceptionally with something as very own as her sexuality. And the reality you experience the ought to ask no count if it is totally nicely to be bi-sexual...? And specific, she might have a weigh down on a woman, OR she might like the two. I knew i became a lesbian on account that i became 10 EDIT: nicely, no, it is not any longer lots to soak up. there is not any longer something no longer general approximately being gay or bi-sexual. She's bi-sexual so how do you recognize your daughter won't get married to a guy? I additionally do no longer discover why it is so surprising for somebody to be gay... why is it assumed every person is promptly? Why do no longer we anticipate every person is asexual till we are saying distinctive? and whether she is gay she will nevertheless get married, have teenagers, bypass to varsity... I additionally think of it is especially egocentric in the adventure that your concern isn't having organic and organic grand-teenagers. additionally: What suitable do you ought to rigidity your daughter to come back out earlier she chooses to?

Answer 4

Clearly, you need to talk to a professional therapist. Bisexuality is not the same has being gay, firstly. And what did you do to deserve this? Obviously you view your child's sexual orientation as a punishment toward you, as you are with all of your childrens' issues, which only reflects your own selfishness. Besides, what makes you so special that you don't deserve problems like everyone else? Like I said, find a good therapist. Your issues are too expansive for this forum.

Answer 5

First, why are you snooping on her MySpace?

Second, sexuality has nothing to do with ability to bear children. A good friend of mine is due in one month with a baby girl. She has been an out lesbian since she was 14.

Your daughter's sexuality is "a stupid thing?" That's a horrible thing to say. She could easily come back with "marrying a child molester is a far more stupid thing to do and far more dangerous."

You didn't "do" anything. Your daughter's sexuality has NOTHING to do with you. You are not the center of the universe.

I understand it is hard to find out your daughter is bi or gay. But deal with it. If you don't you will lose her. You've lost your son to jail, do you want to lose your daughter to your own ignorance and fear?
As for your family...if they can't be supportive, that's their issue. My mother's twin is a Bible-thumper, and has a few choice things to say about gays and lesbians. My mother stays strong and says, 'judge not lest ye be judged." My mom would of course probably prefer for me to be a happy heterosexual if only to protect me from the ignorance. However, she loves me, never says "i wish you were straight" and loves my girlfriend. When my aunt goes off on her rants (which are far and few between now), my mom simply points out my successes in life including grad school/great education, a good job, happy life, volunteer work, etc. By the way, my aunt (my mom's twin) has a now ex-husband in prison for molesting children....

join PFLAG. get over yourself and love your daughter.

Answer 6

OMGSH! No offense but what kind of mother are you? You are flipping out because your daughter is bi? She can still have kids you know? Even if she would happen to become Lesbian she can still have kids, she doesn't need a guy to have kids she just needs sperm which you can get from a sperm bank, DUH!! I know I'm sounding like a horrible mean person but I'm not. You really offended me with the whole "My daughter is bi" thing because I'm a LESBIAN! Also, for you with your husband and son, yes I'm sorry to hear that and i hope you overcome that but for the whole "my daughter is bi" thing is horrible. She's your daughter you should love her no matter what she may be or like for sexual preferences. That's all Ive got to say.

Answer 7

Sorry. I know the disappointment. My Stepdaughter told us she was gay when she was in High School. We told her that we loved her but wouldn't accept her choice.

She moved out after graduation and led a care free 'if it feels good, do it' lifestyle with her friend. We made it clear to her that we wouldn't help her make bad decisions in her life, we would not be her enabler. We had to let her know that her choices in life came with consequences.

There were many hard times. She was always in financial hardship and declared bankruptcy at the age of 19.

It took a couple more years for her to realize that she was on a dead end path. Once she decided that this wasn't a good way to live, she dumped her "friend", renounced the gay lifestyle as a bad choice, and pledged to straighten her life around. We let her move back in, helped her with her finances, got her on the right track, and now we're happy to say that she's engaged to a nice young man.

Never accept that gay is something you're born with. Never accept that you should love unconditionally for your love has value and should not be given away for nothing.

Parents jobs are to steer and guide children through life. Show them the best path to take and to avoid the pitfalls of other paths.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 8

every person has some trouble in their life, no one is immune to this saddley, I nearly lost my father two months ago, only to have my mother pass away three weeks later. while not as bad as your situation in most regards, I hope that it helps to show that you are not in the battle alone. many of the holiest people have gone through a phase called "the time of darkness" when anything that goes wrong can go wrong, and many of them come within a milimeter of losing their faith entirely, but once you get out of this dark time, your life will get better i promise.

Answer 9

I know you're hurting right now, but you are upset about something that is not your fault, is no one's fault, and is not bad. You are punishing, rejecting, and blaming your daughter for being bisexual, which is absolutely as valid and worthy a way to be as being heterosexual. I strongly **urge** you to contact Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians and Gays to get support from other parents whose kids have also come out to them, so you will again be able to see your daughter as the wonderful person she is, and love and accept her as a bisexual woman.

You are fixated on your own feelings right now, but have you thought about your daughter's? She took a risk telling you the truth--at a time you, not she, chose!--and you responded by rejecting her by saying "UGGGG..." Stop your self-pity long enough to consider that it is you failing your daughter right now, not her failing you. You did not fail her in any way that "made" her bisexual; that is one of the ways people are born. Instead, you are failing her right now by turning away from her out of your own self-pity and prejudice. This response is unworthy of you. Snap out of it.

Check this website:

www.pflag.org

Good luck!

Answer 10

Your life is based on yoru choices. You clearly made some bad ones. Your attitude contributes to the choices you make. Your sucks so its not surprise you make bad choices. Finally, your selfish. Your daughter is bisexual, and all you can worry about is how this will make you look.

Crappy attitude, bad choices and self-centered. Not exactly path to a happy life.