Even if you've been married for so many years, something triggers you to cheat on your wives, and without your intent you fall in love with the other woman. What makes you not decide to be with her and instead go back to your wife and try to make it work when you know very well that you don't love her as you love this new person. Can someone explain that to me?
2007-07-05 01:42:54 · 10 answers · asked by azdreamin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am the mistress and we did fall in love with each other in an honest and sincere way. We just got found out and he put a stop to it because of pure fear. Yet he did tell his wife and now we are no longer together because he decided that he needed to work on his relationship and his family. I am still in shock. Granted, he never promised me marriage and neither did I expect it but he was going to think things through but then it came out in the open. Can any cheater help with this reasoning?
2007-07-05 02:29:16 · update #1
Familiarity in relationships is a key point in there survival. There is strong bond between couples, especially married couples who have been together for some time. In no way, should you feel less of a person by his decision. You may have genuinely fallen in love with him and truly feel abandoned and wronged. But the TRUTH in the matter of the situation, there were never any wedding promises, so he had NEVER committed Totally to you, so his decision should have Been no surprise. People do things for Many reasons and just because he made his decision to go to his wife, should not in anyway interfere with your future happiness. There are many people out there waiting to meet you and to commit to you. You obviously are capable of sincere love. Find someone that CAN and WILL love you.
Right now you are feeling a lot of hurt as well you should but do not get lost in that dark cloud. Remember that you attracted him and you CAN attract others, you are someone to be wanted and desired. Go to places that you enjoy and meet people that enjoy the same things that you do and share your likes and dislikes. Believe me, this last piece of advice really owrks. I have taken it myself and have given it to others on many an occassion.
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2007-07-10 07:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by Market Magician 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember, at one time they fell in love with their wife too. They have a history, maybe a kid or two and they've been together for quite sometime. Usually something happens in their marriage, maybe the routine gets old, they forget about doing things to keep the spark alive and one day here comes a new babe. She's attractive, maybe a little bit mysterious, playful, flirty and exciting...So he's attracted to her and gets infatuated with her, they give each other a look, maybe a wink and the sparks fly, just like it did for him when he first met his wife. It remains exciting for awhile, the new car always looks better than last years model, but soon it begins to fade a little too. Maybe some of the excitement is wearing off, becoming once again, routine. Add that to his guilt he's feeling inside and he starts wondering about what is really important. His wife is still sitting there doing what she promised to do in her vows while he's out playing the field. In time he comes to his senses and returns to where he should have been all along. He'll never get back what he lost because he's betrayel has cost him his wife's trust. You will also lose and it is just since you chose to be with a married man in the first place. All in all there are three losers here, not including any children. If a man or a woman is married they are off limits to anyone and everyone, period...
2007-07-10 11:23:22 · answer #2 · answered by Domino 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because she is " the other woman" not the wife.
A man made vows to the wife, in front of family, friends and God.
If he leaves his wife for her, then eventually there will be another "other woman".
Once a cheat, always a cheat.
I don't care what he tells the mistress, he doesn't love her.
He will say it because that's what she wants to hear, but in reality, it's just sex.
2007-07-05 02:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That "something" in you that triggers you to cheat is low character. A liar and cheat is also a coward. My guess is that you aren't capable of a real commitment to either your wife or your g/f and frankly its cheaper to be with your wife.
Do your wife a favor and give her a divorce and what she needs to live a good life. You don't deserve her and hopefully she can find a real man who will.
Your g/f deserves a lying cheat, go with her. Any woman who purposefully gets involved with another woman's man is so despicable, that she deserves a low life like you. Enjoy.
2007-07-05 02:02:17 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, the nerve of some people. It has been proven so many times that the married man hardly ever leaves the wife. Just because he forgave you does not mean it is "love". He just does not want to go looking for someone else to scromp with. You think it hurts to love him? What about how hurt the kids will be if he was to leave their mommy? Or how hurt the wife would be to find her husband is sleeping with a filthy s*ank? The fact that you have started to give her hints is very sick. You want to know what will happen? You think that once she finds out from your "hints" that he will just leave or she will kick him out for good, doubtful. He will beg for her forgivness, she will eventually forgive him and because he still loves his wife you will be kicked to the curb before you can blink. OR the other outcome would be she finds out, he ends things with you to prove to her he does not want to be with you and she wont take any of it then she will take him for everything he has, and then will come after you for ruining the marriage. Legally she CAN take you to court for that. Just wait, there is never a good ending to these situations. I would say good luck to you but I do not believe woman like you deserve any sympathy.
2016-04-01 08:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly speaking, loyalty, guilt... and love. My wife has stood by me and put up with a lot of my bad sides, which I've many, and yet she still loves me unconditionally. Like any men I supposed, I've wandering eyes, and perhaps flirted here and there, and have even been close to thinking of having a relationship with another, but I keep on having these reminders how my wife has stood by me all these years.
2007-07-05 01:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by zmohamed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a verb. It is something you do that you have control over. You can decide to love your wife like you have never done before if you really want to. It is really your decision.
2007-07-09 18:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by srb72625 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier and more comfortable just to go back to your already established life with your wife.
2007-07-05 01:47:42 · answer #8 · answered by surge8400 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably most of them love their money & STUFF more than the other woman---and they'd lose it in a divorce!
2007-07-05 01:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
fear, guilt, familiarity
2007-07-05 01:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋