any suggestions or comments.........??

Question

My inlaws are just imposible. My sister inlaw fight with me for no reasons. She is a mature lady of 40 years and also a pricipal in a school, but really dont know how to manage at home. My mother in law always defend her saying that she is unmarried and always been treated as a small child. She always suggest me to keep calm and ignore what ever she is doing.My SIL doesn't help in house hold at all. I'm marries for bout 10 years now and never got a chance to see or understand my inlaws in these years. it was only after my child birth we moved into my inlaws house. My father inlaw always boast about his property and whenever there is any tension in house he just talk about his will. He says he will give 1/3rd property to my child only if she decides to keep no relation with me. Me and my husband told him 100 times that we dont need your property but try to maintain peace in the house. As far as my SIL is concerned she behaves like an animal sometimes,

she shout at us, she throw and and break whatever comes in her hand. She is just impossibe. And whenever she does this my MIL always blame me. I cant take all this. Not that it is happening after we have shifted to their house. But i've come to know she is doing this for years. She didn't talk to his father for 8 years, to his brother for about 7 years because they asked her to stop behaving like this. But now nobody tell her to change her behavior. I'm bearing this till the time my inlaws are there............ But what after that...??? except my husbands everybody support her in what she is doing.

my husband was also like this for few years after our marriage but after moving in the society he gradually change alot. now he can differentiate in right and wrong. We always try to keep ourselves away from all this but i really cannot stop my little one to go to them b'coz i'm working full time. I'm worried as to what she will learn from all this.

Answer 1

Kaya pagalo ke pale par gai aap. I really feel pity for you & your small child. Best solution which I see in this case is if you want to protect your child's future just move out this joint family now along with your husband & child otherwise whatever is happening there will be affecting the growing mind of your child. You seem to be lucky that your husband changed his attitude & full credit goes to you but to change the same of your SIL or your other in laws seems impossible. Only one thing which I want to state here but reluctantly with due respect to all women & womanhood that your sister in law is sexually frustrated lady as she never got married in time & now her mental status as you state is nothing more then of an animal. Better not take chances for any mishap to your family, just move out this hell.

Answer 2

First problem seems with your SIL, who is 40, principal and does not help in home.

See the mentality of a Teacher .wants to discipline everybody. and principal mean she has to get respect as students respect her.

secondly she is unmarried. she does not know what marital bliss is or love is or sex is and even though she may be desiring the love internally and when she is alone must be imagining the joy you are sharing from her brother (YOUR HUSBAND) All this makes her jealous of you. that you are new comer junior to her(SIL)and yet enjoying life whereas she(SIL)is just dry and dead leaf hanging on a tree without being noticed by any one. So the energy she could have used to enjoy love,life and marriage, is stored, unused, and getting PENT UP. like steam in pressure cooker. The cooker is never opened and heat is on . So you can imagine what torment she must be passing through. As science discovered that energy is there in every person and if he does not utilise it energy will Devour the Person who is possessing it. Your SIL's energy is not channelised but blocked. You should take pity on your SIL and get INTIMATE with her, befriend her and help her understand.divert her energy into some creative work, Meditation or she must release the Tension with the help of Male Companion.Now time is short. If your SIL decides to get married also .she must have good looks and physique to attract any male for life long companionship.

Answer 3

Why are you living with your inlaws? You are married with a child, get your own place and leave the inlaws alone.
The basic problem is that you are stuck in a house with people who do not like you... why would you keep yourself in that position?
Tell your husband you want a place of your own, I am sure neither of you want your child to see and think it is ok to behave the way your sis in law is... GET OUT!!

Answer 4

No Worry, No tension, just quit them once for all,
You are a working women thats the problem for you in takeing care of your child, spend few bugs to get a good lady servent who could care your child.
Visit your inlaws occassionally, for only few minutes and try to reduce the links/dependency over them slowly but gradually. Would advice, suggest dont tell your totall in come to any body, always try to put one or the other req. for help and keep them at bay. If they could not help you then they would not ask any help from you. Be happy learn some politics to survive.............in family too you have to be sharp.

Answer 5

If you and your husband don't have an iota of interest in your in-laws' house property, what makes you stay there enduring so much abuse? High time that you shifted out of your in-laws' house to your own accomodation. If it is the discharge of duties that a son and daughter-in-law have towards their parents and in-laws respectively that make you continue to stay there, you and your husband must set things straight first. Your in-laws must learn to behave decently with you and treat you as a true daughter-in-law for you to reciprocate equally. Else you must pay them with their own coin. When your sister-in-law turns too nasty, just tell her to mind her own business. Remind her if possible, that it is probably due to her rude behaviour and meanness that no man accepted her as a wife.

Answer 6

I think you need to move into your own home. Sounds like things are never going to change with the situation that you are living in, unless you move out. There is too many personalities in that house, and way to much stress. If you believe in the safety for your child, then you need to just move out and limit your contact with your in-laws.

Answer 7

The only thing I can say s if you can move get your own place then you won' have to put up with it. Or if you can' just do your best to teach your child the rigt way to be and pray that the SIL will grow up.

Answer 8

Move out!

No one should live with their family if there is so much drama. If you work full time, find daycare... Or... do you have any friends or family that could watch her? The environment sounds hostile, and is not good for a child. If you move out and you and your husband can create a peaceful home, then that is the best option.
Good luck, and please... try it!

Answer 9

kids replicate what they see their parents do....it's sad but some parents don't take this seriously. i would suggest you to move out of the house asap. the sil will never change....alll her frustations and resentment will be showered on you guys. don't care about the property your child inherits. Money can be acquired but for now your child needs a home...where he gets lots of love and freedom to dream for his future. If not for yourself...do it for your child. good luck

Answer 10

u seems paki aswell :) common issue over here buddy. But u have to see your family, ur kids and ur husband so need to scrafice till time :) as am not gonna give u any worth opinion which normally people do and use to forget this that it can effect some one family. khush raho