my friends girlfriend has recently died and i have been there for him and let him stay with me, the funeral is in a few days time and im not sure if i should offer to go with him as i didnt like her but want to be there for him...what would you do
2007-07-04 23:53:58 · 23 answers · asked by emmaline 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
oh my god.....some of you have made me sound like a complete cow... i didnt hate the woman for christ sake, i love him to bits and consider myself a very good friend... and am the only person to have been there for him through this difficult time.....thankyou very much
2007-07-05 12:10:29 · update #1
i would at least offer it doesn't matter if you liked her or not she's gone and he's in need of support right now, so if he needs you there be there......
2007-07-04 23:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not go unless you go with someone other than him, possibly another female friend who may have known her. It would not look appropriate or respectful to the deceased for her last boyfriend to appear at her funeral with her known enemy! If you wish to show this guy that you have real concern for him, send him a sympathy card and a personal note inviting him to give you a call if he needs your support.
At a time such as this, he is probably having mixed emotions and experiencing some grief and confusion. To intrude into his emotional territory too soon would gain you nothing but a bad reputation. Give him time to get over his loss and then approach him if he seems open to a new relationship.
2007-07-05 07:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The funeral is not all about her. Its also about supporting family and friends of the person who passed away. If he is a good friend, go support him. Its only one night and you never have to "see" her again. He obviously loved her and if you are enough to help him through this, dont give up half way. Go the extra mile. He will respect you more for it. I know that there are friends that dont like my boyfriend... but I know that they are there for me no matter what... those are the friends that I know I can count on and are truely my friends.
2007-07-05 06:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by jms62394 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is relying on you now. As long as your presence will in no way cause a scene or hurt a family member then go. If you think you may be a source of pain to someone else don't go. Compassionately tell him that you are there to depend on but you think his sister(whomever) would be upset by your attendance and you don't want to do that. Offer him a place to return to and let him know you are his friend. He will appreciate your honesty.
2007-07-05 07:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am in a similar situation. my ex partner's mother just died and the funeral is tomorrow. i am going to it to pay my respects and be whatever comfort i can.... if he is your friend then i am sure you want to offer whatever comfort and support you can, so in my opinion, i think it would be best if you went. he will never forget that you were there for him - and equally he will never forget if you're not. good luck with whatever decision you make
2007-07-05 06:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some time. He will want comfort naturally, but you need to be sure it won't end in regrets. My advice is be a friend and then be busy with your own life without him, Until you can be sure it is what you both want.
2007-07-05 06:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how you could even call yourself a "friend" if you have to ask such a heinous question on an internet Q & A community board!-~With friends like you, who needs enemies?
2007-07-05 08:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being there for your friend is a must after all he is your friend..respect often means doing things because we know we should....yea he needs you let him kow you will be there for him...perhaps tellin the gal how you feel now upon her death will help you deal more with her loss later because in time you will regret sayin you didnt like her....maybe you just didnt like her ways...huh?
2007-07-08 21:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by ky~not just for kentucky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him, you dont have to cry at the funeral you know..and have some respect for the dead!
2007-07-05 09:07:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mercia L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he asks you then go .shes pased away now so how can u dislike her now there comes a time to stop the hate .be there for u friend
2007-07-05 06:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Ally S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just go with him and show your support---show him that u really r his friend...
just a few reminders: dont ask him if he's alright--coz he's not..
just say that u undersatnd him that he needed some space, n tell him thatwhenever he might need it, ul always there for him...
2007-07-05 06:58:04 · answer #11 · answered by paola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋