He has no idea that I am able to access his account so obviously he has no idea that I know exactly what he has been doing behind my back. I definitely have trust issues with him. He has given me every reason to distrust him in the past.
2007-07-04 23:00:51 · 14 answers · asked by blittyboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Come to the "Cyber-Cheating and Emotional Affairs" message board at ivillage.com !!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-04 23:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by starrrrgazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask. You have access to the regular mailbox for the house, why should he hide his email? Answer: No spouse should hide email. If he lies he has sealed his fate of a failed marraige. If you want to work this out let him know you will not put up w/ any crapola. He is to either choose you or the other woman/women. Forsaking all others is the vow, including talking to women online in a way you shouldn't.
2007-07-05 00:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know exactly what you're feeling. Been there.
Maybe you should do a little detective work and get some more evidence. It hurts like hell, but you have to know what you're dealing with. Keep your evidence a secret until you're ready to confront him. If both of you don't want to divorce, make it very clear that he will need to prove to you that he is being faithful whatever that takes. If he loves you and wants to save the marriage he shouldn't have a problem with that.
2007-07-04 23:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you do anything, print out all of those emails, make copies and lock them up. When you confront him, you may need to have them. And when he takes them from you and rips them up.... ha ha, you have copies! about how to confront him on it....I would take the printed emails and tie them with a pretty red ribbon, and hand them to him. Watch the expression change on his face when he realizes that he is busted and then tell him your expectations... Whether they are for him to end the affair, marriage counseling, separation, or divorce. be firm, and stand your ground! do not let him turn this around on you AND DO NOT CRY IN FRONT OF HIM. Good luck! i can guess what your stomach is feeling like right about now. i really do know how you feel! good luck!
2007-07-04 23:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by who are you anyway?? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You want him to know that you know what he did? That's not hard, since you can read his emails and he dosent know, you can invent some "coincidence" that would lead you to "find out". It is normal not to trust him since you know he lied.
Maybe this is the right time to ask yourself if you want to coninue this relation or not. And why not, to talk to him open and fid out what each of you really want. If you want to stay together, it's not possible unless he stops lieing.
I'm not sure i know what the question was :) anyway i hope this helps, i wish you all the best
2007-07-04 23:07:58 · answer #5 · answered by larissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically men can have fantasies through the internet that seem real when you read them because they can have real details in them. He might not really be cheating on you but he may want to. As a man that cheated on his 1st wife (im on wife number 3) trust me when i say that men don't cheat because of the sex. They cheat because they don't feel loved and they just want to feel safe with their wife. He probably never has been able to be himself around you. You probably dont know the real him (thats not a bad thing) because he treated you in such a different way all along. He probably does love you very much. You basically need to reassure him that you love him and would never want to leave him. He needs to know he is secure with you because that's all he is seeking, knowingly or unknowingly, he is looking for acceptance from you and right now he is not getting that so he is going elsewhere through fantasy or reality. It isn't right what he is doing but it isnt right that he he cant feel safe enough with you about how he feels about his life and his relationship with you at this point. Ask yourself, do you really love this man? If you do, make him feel safe with you and i guarentee this cheating / fantasy will end.
2007-07-04 23:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by properly_serviced_gent 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
What i think is you should read his latest emails and find out where your husband is meeting with other girl and you should also go there and spoil the fun. Then ask what he has to say to about it, if he is rude then divorce is the option or if he apologizes then you two have to sort it out :).
Hope it helps.
2007-07-04 23:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have trust issues with him, and you found out he is cheating again? I think you don't need to approach it, make copies of what you found and file for divorce, If you tell him what you did, he will turn it around on you. Quit being stupid and move on with your life.
2007-07-04 23:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have two options--talk to him and get your butts to counselling. Or, talk to him and file for divorce.
Obviously you both have some issues to deal with, starting with lack of communication, lack of respect for each other and total lack of honesty on both sides.
WIth help, it might be possible to overcome these.
Otherwise you both need to quit wasting your time on futility!
2007-07-05 00:20:56 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would approach him with an attorney or a a frying pan....Why don't you just print out his emails and put them next to his dinner (uncooked on a plate).
Tell him you know....why be as sneaky as him?
2007-07-05 03:05:02 · answer #10 · answered by sparky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋