my quiet, shy daughter has condoms in her purse?? help!!!!!!?

Question

My daughter is 15 and from before now i always thought of her as an innocent , shy daughter. She is attractive but i didnt think she was that type. Until now. She had 3 condoms in her purse when i was grabbing laundry from her room. I know it is private but i was wondering what my daughter is up to. Is she sexually active? helpppppppppp

i know the schools dont handout flavored condoms. so dont give me she got them from school crap.

Answer 1

I highly doubt she is. I was a shy, quiet, and well-behaved 13 year old, but I had a few condoms in my room. Not to be used... because my friends and I thought it would be funny to buy them. If you are still worried you should talk to her.

Answer 2

Not knowing your daughter it is hard to tell. She could have gotten them from a friend or at school (don't some schools give them out when teaching safe sex?). Then there was my friend who carried condoms in her purse because she thought it made her cool or more of an adult.

The good thing though is that if she is sexually active that she is a smart girl and is using something. BUT as a fellow parent I will also say along with you "hopefully she isn't "



**Edited to add: Flavored condoms are a different story as far as getting them from school. I will say however that truck stops and other places etc. have condom vending machines (among a few other things). When a friend of mine and I were traveling we thought it was hilarious when we stopped at a truck stop for rest rooms and they had the machines in there. We were 19 maybe? We both actually used the machine and yet I wasn't sexually active at the time, it was more something silly. Spencers Gifts sells flavored condoms as well. I honestly don't know anyone who has ACTUALLY used them rather than a gag gift type of thing.

Answer 3

I was shy and quiet, but I was a flirt with the boys,, and had sex at 16. I had a hard time saying no, because of my shyness. At least she'll be protected. Don't fly off the handle at her, tho, she might just be practicing with them, like taking them out of the package, putting them over her finger, and blowing them up. That's pretty much what I did, even made a few water balloons. Don't worry too much, condoms usually come in packs of 3, unless she got them from a gas station bathroom, then they're 75 cents. Check the local gas station bathrooms for rubber machines. I got some from there too. Never used them for sex, just figuring out how they work and the slime factors. Just weird teenage girl things.
Have a female, mom or an auntie, talk with her about sex. Don't have them mention the condoms in her purse, she'll never look you in the eye again.

Answer 4

At 15, she may or may not be sexually active.

Having condoms around doesn't necessarily mean she's having sex.

I remember a lot of teenagers carrying condoms in their wallets, just in case anything should happen.

There are also lot of programs involved with teens that give out free condoms and things like dental dams in order to help promote safer sex.

While it is a very private thing, you should probably have the talk with your daughter about birth control and safe sex.

I know this is hard to do, but remember that it's better to know that if she IS having sex - at least she is preparing herself to do it safely.

Remember: It would be much worse to find out she was having unprotected sex and ended up pregnant or with an STD.

Hope this helps in some small way.

PS - A lot of the teenage programs I was involved with DID in fact give out flavored condoms. They gave us everything from dental dams to contraceptive foam, to finger condoms.

Here are a few links to check out if you have the time:
http://www.condomessentialwear.co.uk/
http://doinitright.org/
http://www.teenwire.com/
http://www.sexetc.org/

Answer 5

Well first of all since she is a minor and lives in your house there is no such thing as her privacy. She is at an age in which you are obligated to protect her specially from herself. I am a father of 3 girls and I would have a serious sit down with her and activate what my parents call "The national security act"(lol). Monitor her closely and see what's going on, it may be a drag now but she will apreciate it later. Now granted you need to spend time with her, more than you have before and remember that the more time she spends with her family the less time she will spend doing things she shouldn't.
Hope it helps if you need to talk feel free to im me.

Answer 6

well if she is at least she is being safe!

but...i am afraid she MIGHT be. : /
I am 15 also and i my parents are just like you...they think i am innocent and stuff but i have a few secrets locked up that i would NOT want them to know about.

Maybe try giving her one of those "talks" about "it" and protecting yourself...instead of confronting her about it and telling her what you saw in her purse..because then she might accuse you of snooping. .and it may mess things up a lot!

i dont know i thought you might want to hear from someone her age and probably the same thoughts.

but yea the best thing people can do now-a-days is teach children more about protection instead of JUST saying not to do "that"stuff AT ALL. So that we know our parents love us no matter what and will be there for us when we need them the most. =]


o yea and i know some people are saying that she probably isnt active..but look at me..im sweet and innocent to my friends and family...but...well..im not.
so you might wanna ask her...
its better safe than sorry : /

Answer 7

Ah, YEAH she is likely to be sexually active (unless she was holding on to them for someone else, hmmm, how likely is that though?) .

They say it's usually the quiet ones that are naughty. But that's a generalisation of course. Shyness doesn't preclude young girls from wanting to experiment with sex. And you should be THRILLED that she is having safe sex, not just safe from getting pregnant but diseases as well.

I reckon it's time you guys had a little chat. Just tell her you found the condoms when you were doing the laundry and that you were not deliberately snooping (unless of course you were). Tell her you're not angry with her but that you hope she can be honest with you. Cos, honestly, you'd rather know the truth than for her to lie, right? as much as the truth can be painful sometimes.

It might turn out that she got pressured into it. Or she could have been the one who was curious and willing to go ahead with it.

But being angry with her or showing your anger will probably just cause her to hide things from you.

Answer 8

Honestly I think no.
I am 16 and I am shy, but I believe that your daughter is playing it smart. She probably saw some poor girl at her school who is pregnant and she thought oh I will be safe when the time comes.
I would have a sensible conversation with her and just show that you care. Getting angry is the worse thing to do by the way.

Answer 9

While I can't tell you whether or not she is sexually active, I CAN tell you that both planned parenthood and my highschool gave out condoms and some of them were flavoured. When free condoms get given out, they are whatever has been donated, so the "got them from school" theory is not necessarily crap.

I suggest you sit down with your daughter and **CALMLY** talk to her about it.

Answer 10

She might have just bought them with her friends to be goofy.. or she bought them to experiment and see what they are really like... Have a heart to heart, don't mention those condoms, just mention how she should wait for THE ONE, not just anyone and make sure she knows she shouldnt be pressured into sex, and she can wait as long as she needs to... then let her know if she DOES decide to give it up to a special guy to use protection, and teach her the right way...

Inform her so she is able to make a rational decision! Hopefully she isn't really using them, if she is... help her with information!