I can I prevent how I am feeling inside from affecting my physical appearance?

Question

Whenever I get depressed or miserable my muscles on my face drop. People on the streets tell me to cheer up. They also feel negative around me. I struggle to change my negative thoughts to positive thoughts, but it doesn't happen. I'm tired of doctors?

Too many great answers. I give most o you 10's.

Answer 1

Try to wish for what you fear. This sounds perhaps a bit weird, but I believe that this could help you.
Before you go on the street already expect people to look at you and see in the muscles of your face that you are depressed, ( and believe me, we all are from time to time) and wish for people seeing how miserable you are feeling inside.
Wish that they all might feel how negative your thoughts are and that for sure they will feel down in your presence and let you know this too.
Try this out, I promise it will work. (This is paradoxical intention. An approach developed in the field of Logotherapy)

Answer 2

I used to be sad and look sad a lot. It was due to a lot of things: my own self image and the events happening around me, among some other things...

One day I just decided that I wasn't going to be depressed anymore. I made an effort to smile and laugh, even when I felt horribly inside. Every day I made it my goal to make at least one other person smile, and to be helpful to others. I also decided that I would try to not be mean to myself anymore. I just started realizing that if other people told me what I told myself each day I would tell them where they could go... so why did I say it? It took a while, but eventually my "acting" happy turned into being happy. I still get sad, and still get depressed sometimes, but it is amazing what thinking happy thoughts can do.

Another major thing that helped me (and still does) is music. I found a passion, something I loved, and I threw myself into it. By finding something that makes you happy, that lets you escape for a little while (reading also helps, for me at least) into another world and place, you find something that makes you smile. I was also lucky enough to find a wonderful friend, one I could confide in and be myself around. If I was/am feeling sad, they would sit down with me and talk with me. It wasn't like a therapist talk or anything either, many times it was just silly or me listening to stories of them and their friends.

I guess the best advice I can give you is try not to change your physical appearance too much. Try instead to find something that can actually change your outlook. Is there something that you really like to do, music you like to listen to (though make sure it isn't depressing music, or music that makes you feel angry/sad), a sport you like to play, a tv show you really like, a volunteering thing you could do, like be a big sister/big brother, or work with animals at the pound, something to give you a bit more oomph to your step?

I suppose I can't truly tell you what you can do, but I can tell you my own story. I'm not a doctor, and have never been deeply depressed for months and months on end. I always had someone yanking me back up, or music keeping me floating. But I have felt hopelessness, the feeling that nothing will ever be right, ever again. This feeling is hard to deal with, and I know a lot of people struggle in a battle with depression every day. You mentioned you are sick of doctors, and I applaud you for seeking help from professionals. Unfortunately it seems as though they aren't fully helping you, but maybe they are helping more than you notice? Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.

edit: I also agree with a poster above me, maybe writing down your thoughts in a journal could prove theraputic?

Answer 3

Obviously, change how you're feeling inside. The negativity you feel from others, (because you project it), just bounces back at you. Conversely, if you force yourself to smile & be pleasant, the response from others will make you feel better about yourself. When you're alone, be aware of things that can make you laugh, or smile. There are many if you're determined to open the door to them. Avoid distessing things--sad music, sad friends, painful TV news. If you filter out things over which you have control, you'll have more "room" & clarity of thought to focus on what's depressing you. I've no idea, of course, but I know that a very good therapy is to write a journal. This an excellent way to get in touch with yourself, to gain insights. Don't "think" as you write, just "feel." It's wonderful what you can discover about you, when you let your stream of consciousness flow. Remembering your sleep dreams in depth will also reveal symbolic messages. Work from the most inner part of you, & remember that you ARE in control unless you're clinically depressed; but as you said, you're tired of doctors. They obviously aren't helping you. Changing negative to positive requires your attitude, & the things around you to change. It won't happen all at once--but I'll bet--if someone said they'd pay you to smile, you could do it!

Answer 4

Oh, you seem to have got deep enough, close enough to the problem.
Have we not noticed, small babies, when they cry intensely, seemingly very miserable at situations 'we' know as trifle from our longer duration of life's experience.. they look quite stunningly beautiful even when crying.. ofcourse, we do not delay or hesitate to relieve them from whatever causes them to cry... yet , the sight remains memorable !
Now, in very famous , " hit " movies, when the adult hero/heroine expresses misery, we love to watch those touching scenes again and again too !
Nothing wrong , as long as we can really "AFFORD" to keep the 'inside' and 'outside' same ! ... Children, babies are choicelessly unaware yet ( we call it also 'innocence' ... though THIS is not the entire the innocence), and Actors find it easy to display or portray a 'role', and ideal role where it is nice to see a 'character' being inside-outside same ! Well, this is the price required to become attractive in physical appearance, whatever the situation.

Answer 5

Stop thinking so much.

Excessive thinkers look the part.

In addition to doctors, you might consider the emergence of "mindfulness" in Western medical practice.

Answer 6

you may have too much on your mind. try keeping a journal to right down your thoughts, good or bad, make sure you read it to yourself as you write

Answer 7

Sorry. Long post. Thought I'd share my experiences with you.

I think I know exactly what you're going through, though my experiences may not be similar to yours. I'd go around and friends would always say, "Hey! cheer up there! Why the sad face?". And sometimes, even when I am feeling absolutely happy, people still think I'm depressed or sad. That's when I realised that my subconscious emotions show on my face immediately and it became so tiring for me to always have to shrug off comments like that.

I was under a lot of pressure, tremendous amount of repression and going through very depressing periods of my life and the effects of constant mental and emotional stress showed on my face and eventually, has effected my health as well. I was always looking glum and down, my cheeks sunk in, I had a constant frown on my face, my eyes looks closed up and puffy and my skin looked a strange green colour. I was also always extreme pessimistic and negative about how people saw me as, how I see them from my side, how I perceive their actions and repond to their interactions... pretty much everything in a very dark evil shade of grey. I was all very negative about everything and everyone around me.

I fell seriously ill with fever some 6 weeks ago at the peak of experiencing very damaging stress levels. I have always been fit and coming down with a flu or a fever is a rare occasion for me. I also experienced very sharp pains in my stomach, sometimes to the extent of fainting from the extreme sensation at the abdominals. I have seen two doctors, on two separate occasions and both couldn't even begin to tell me what had cause the pain, what more the specific medication to give me to relieve the aches. I was sent home by the two confused doctors with aspirins, gas pills and multi vitamins.

As I was recuperating at home, I realised that everytime I calmed down and felt peaceful, with no worries, stress or anger, my stomach aches would very very strangely disappear, almost instantly. I tried thinking of stressful things just to see if the pains were stress related and yes, they came back. The stomach pains went on for many days for a fortnight after that. I went back to my normal daily routine after recovery, made a conscious effort to reduce stress levels attributed from every single event in my life (significant and insignificant) by pin pointing all possible causes of my mental and emotional stress.

I realised that out of so many external factors that caused accumulated stress and depression to build up inside me, some of them were financial related, family related and self identity related. I started planning my financial budgets, kept track of my current expenditure requirements, and derived goals and objectives for myself to achieve. I began looking deep into the heart of the problems lurking between my family members and understood how to tackle every situation, one by one, on an individual basis. I started soul searching more these days, I stopped neglecting myself, paid more attention to my own needs and my inner voice and began asking myself about what I want, what I need, what I'm really looking for and I look forward to in my life.

I started taking control of my problems, the end results I want and my life overall. I started becoming more self confident, more self reliant and naturally happier, like my old self. I stopped being negative, began looking at a much wider range of perspectives and relied much less on my previously fixed presumptuous conclusions about everything I experienced.

You are depressed and disturbed on the inside so that's why you're looking depressed and sad on the outside. That negativity that you feel from others really isn't from them but from yourself. People outside can't see you the way you do. You should realise it consciously to be able to change that negative thoughts to positive ones. Forcing yourself will not get you as far. That negativity, that frown on your face and that depressed emotion you feel are all symptoms of something that's deeply troubling you inside. They are not the causes of your saddened appearance. Perhaps, you can find out what causes you to be depressed and figure out what you need to do to eliminate that external factor that's causing you to feel miserable. Before you know it, your face will automatically shine with happiness and glow pink in health from the inside out.