My wife left and is wanting a divorce, we have been together for over 10 years and have 3 kids. The real problem is I still love her but she has not intrest in making our marriage work. I know that in time the pain will fade, but how do you get through the day with out loosing it... espically in front of the kids?
2007-07-04 17:09:05 · 11 answers · asked by Izzy_g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suggest first and foremost not trying to pretend in front of your kids that you're "fine." They will wonder why the heck you're not sad, and think that something is wrong with THEM for being upset. That doesn't mean you have to belittle your ex, or to wallow in sadness or anger, but it's perfectly ok to let your kids know that you're sad.
Other than that - keep busy! Be with people. If you don't want to be with people who know you and will be feeling sorry for you the whole time, find new people to be with. Do volunteer work, or try something that you haven't done before. It takes time, and it takes effort that you may feel is terribly hard to make, but it's worth it!
2007-07-04 17:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rJoin the club Izzy. My hubby left after 18 years of marriage and it took me a long time before I got over it. You need to be with friends you can talk to, go out of the house as much as possible, join a church, or do anything to distract you from thinking of her all day. Stop trying to get her back because, that will drive her further away from you. Things will start happening when you start letting go of your hurts. It's tuff I know but, you are not on your own. So many people are hurting through broken marriages out there, it's almost becoming a crime I can tell you. I hope it won't be too long before you realise she didn't deserve the man who really loved her (you). She might also find out that the grass isn't greener on the other side either. Best of luck mate.
2007-07-05 00:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by BFCP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that divorce is really hard on kids so you are wise to hold it together for them. The kindest thing you can do is work at being civil with your soon to be ex for their sake.
As far as you, check for a divorce support group. Wander in a divorce support group chat room, write her notes you never mail, join a gym and whiten your teeth and look fabulous when you see her for your sake.
You have to just grieve, you have a loss here and it will simply take some time to adjust to this big of a change.
If your company offers, talk to a stress counselor, there is no shame in being a man who regrets the ending of his marriage and a painful change for his children. It would also help you support them.
Good Luck!
2007-07-05 00:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this 5 years ago, and I understand what your going through.
talking to someone - close friend, family member or a professional will help you to cope with the pain better,
also if you wife not willing to work things out, you have to to accept that it is over and you need to concentrate on moving on.
Also you have to make sure your children are not being used as informant or messengers, they have more than enough pressure already.
Again, talking to someone is the most effective healer.
good luck
2007-07-05 00:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by toca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a loss, much like a death, and you need to deal with it like one. You need to take the time to grieve. If you need to talk to someone, find a counselor to talk to. But, in front of your children you smile. You can tell them you are sad, but that it will be better for both Mommy and Daddy. You can even tell them that you will always love mommy, but in a different way now. It is important that they know you are ok, so they won't feel the need to take care of you and won't blame your wife. One day at a time is always best.
2007-07-05 00:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through it right now, and there is no easy answer. I have a child too, and sometimes it is so hard to keep the emotions under wraps. You just have to. It will pass. Sounds cliche, but I am trying to be strong for my daughter, and I know that someday the pain will subside, and I will find love again.
2007-07-05 02:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by trancegoddess2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru exactly what you are going thru. The first thing you will need to do is tell yourself that you are going to get thru this because if you do not have faith in yourself who will and besides you have to remain strong for the kids. Try not to argue or fight in front of them and especially do not talk bad about the other parent in front of the kids.You will need to keep yourself busy,it is ok to think about what use to be but don't dwell on it and keep in mind that every time one door closes another one opens.
2007-07-05 00:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by Slim&Sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband wasn't snoring on the couch and you said 12 years I would have thought you were him.
I have been trying for years and years to make this marriage something that brings me some kind of joy....but he never tried. not once. Now that I have given up, he's all like "So, you're just going to give up? Let's work on this..." That just p!ssed me off even more. Now that I am one foot out the door he wants to make an effort? Screw him. Procrastination will always catch up with you.
2007-07-05 00:19:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its hard for people to get a divorce when they have kids. u just dont want to put them in the position of their parnet gettin a divorce.. people stay for their children.. but then at the end they end up getting a divorce because it just better for them and their children.. if the person dose not love u back, do not stay and pray for dat person to turn back n love u the way dat they did before.. u will just get hurt from it... if she want out, she will do anyway to get out.. its going to be a tough call.. best of luck..
2007-07-05 00:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by lindaho06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only a new love will heal a broken heart start looking
2007-07-05 00:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋