ok i have dated my boyfriend for 2 years. i am 22 he is 23.
he is bipolar and sometimes can be mean, last year i cheated on him with a man and told him.
its a year later, and we have been fighting a lot, we broke up for two weeks, in that two weeks, he met somebody and slept with her.
we got back to gether.... i found his bank statement and saw a "motel" charge on it.. he admitted that he had sex with her AGAIN while we were back together.
he had lied that day he slept with her, and called me before he went and told me i wouldnt be able to get in touch with him cuz he phone died. oh i checked his computer, after he got home from sex, he went online and downloaded a bunch of porn, un til i came over his house later that night.
now he keeps telling me he is sorry and he was trying to be cold because he felt like we were fighting and he always thought i cheated on him more, and he said he loves me, needs me, is sorry and ashamed, and sorry he lied.
can i forgive him
2007-07-04 16:08:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have both cheated on each other in a relationship within 2 years...do you really think things are going to get better if you stay together for 20 years?
It doesn't sound like either of you are truly ready for a committed relationship and maybe the be best thing for you both is to date other people and if you still feel the same way about each other in six months and want to work it out, get into some counseling.
2007-07-05 01:09:33 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear, that's up to you. Whether you can forgive him or not is a question that only you can answer. However, in my humble opinion, its not worth it. Don't bother to salvage it, forgive him, and let him go. If that's the way he wants to play, don't be involved with him. Every time he goes out and cheats on you, he is risking your safety and your life. Who knows what he will bring home to you? HIV? AIDS? If you can't trust him to be honest about what he's doing, then you can't trust him to use protection, and you can't trust him to put your safety and your well-being first. He obviously doesn't care what he does to you.
Remember also that trust is important--he felt deceived when you cheated on him, and that trust is hard to earn back. He can't trust you, and because of that you also have a hard time trusting him, and that kind of issue will snowball on and on until you have built up so much hurt and animocity between one another, there will be no way to repair the relationship. He may still be cheating on you because he still feels hurt from the past. The only person who can fix that pain is him. There's nothing you can do to make him change.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, and that it can be so hard. You probably won't take my advice, and you'll probably be together for a while before you realize that you can do better. I hope that you remember no matter what that you are beautiful, and you are strong, and you are special and that no matter what happens you will get through it, and rise above it.
2007-07-04 23:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Alexis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can forgive him, but will you? What I see here is two wrongs trying to make a right out of cheating. Well, you laid the path. You cheated first, not that I am saying it makes it any better. However, when dealing with a bi-polar its a whole new ball game. I know I have lived with being bi-polar my whole life. My advice to you is, you both put it behind and move on. Or, you can wallow in the past, and never get anywhere, Cheating is not something that vanishes over night. You both, will deal this for a long time to come. So, really ask yourself. Do, you really love him. I mean honestly! If you are both cheating then something is lacking. I really do wish you thebest of luck and hope you both find your way.
2007-07-04 23:16:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
end this relationship.
Cheating is wrong. You have both cheated and lied and too much wrong to waste the time to try and work it out. You sound co-dependant - not in a healthy loving relationship.
2007-07-04 23:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by geminijeanna 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What goes around comes around. You started this all with your cheating so why should it bother you if he cheats here and there. Once is cheating, 2 and 3 times is still cheating it doesn't matter.
2007-07-04 23:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no enough is enough. i mean you can't get to mad at the one when you guys broke up but when you guys are together no that was kinda messed up. But just tell him that your done with all the fighting and you cant take it anymore let alone the cheating.
2007-07-04 23:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are immature. You should work on your own issues before getting involved with the opposite sex.
2007-07-04 23:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
never girl friend. if he can lie to you that easy then he don't love you at all. it sounds to me just lust. that is all he wants you for an if it doesn't go his way he goes some where else. trust me don't give him another chance. you are setting your self up for heart break an more.
2007-07-04 23:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by tonya r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whats the problem you cheat he cheats your a match made in hell . I don't understand what more do you want ?
2007-07-04 23:18:31 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both are unsure of this relationship. I'd let it fade. Start new.
2007-07-04 23:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by non o u biznis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋