I get a little irriated when people try to fix my life for me. If I am venting I honestly do not want to hear your solution to all my problems - esp. if I did not ask for it. Is this as annoying to other people as it is to me? Why do we always think that we have to be the genius behind the remedy in other peoples affairs? I just feel that listening is a lost art. We would not worry so much about what others think of us . . . if we knew how seldom they do! Some of my best pals are the quiet ones - the world should take note. I am listening . . .
2007-07-04 16:07:23 · 17 answers · asked by lanay 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am not talking about Y!A here. I am talking about one on one conversations with people.
2007-07-04 16:37:59 · update #1
Apparently the narrow minded are out in full force this evening! READ the question. I am not talking about receiving any/all advice. I am talking about people who have no basis for their solutions because the situation has never been experienced by them. Example - people with no kids who give parenting advice. So retract the claws people.
2007-07-04 16:46:50 · update #2
Okay, I am listening!
Hope you feel better now!
I hear what you are saying and have experienced this..(let's get that said right up front!...lol)
They are not going to stop doing that! I can guarantee it!
If you are venting, be careful of who you are talking to.
That is the only advice I can give you!
Perhaps preface the rant with..."I just need someone to listen to this, I need to hear it out loud...don't worry..I can fix it!"
Then say, "thanks for listening!"......quickly.., before they start spouting useless, irritating advice.
Even then, the urge to help others seems to be inborn. Otherwise Yahoo Answers would not exist!
So unfortunately, you WILL have those that have no idea about the problem try to wade in with their solution.
I would try to think of it as the "Infinite number of monkeys-solution" Even idiots get inspired from time to time.
I suppose the bottom line is; if you put your problem out there, people will try to help.
(My friend once told me that the worst thing you could say about a person was that they 'meant well')
2007-07-04 16:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You contradict yourself. Listening is a lost art. Why don't you do more thinking and less venting? If someone is truly listening then their advice is likely to be very wise and you should welcome it.
You need to accept advice in the spirit in which it is given. You will have a broad patience for off base but well-meaning advice if you've ever lived through a period where you've experienced an absence of compassion.
When people choose to accept or reject advice, often they aren't really doing it on the basis of the qualification of the advice giver but instead how much the advice mirrors what they want to hear.
2007-07-04 23:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by Timothy M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People want to help. Free advice is often the price you pay for a listening ear. If you find a quiet friend, treasure her!
Did you ever think that people might get irritated about having to hear you vent? (-: Again, if you find a quiet friend who listens without asking anything in return, treasure her!
Frankly, I think you are not going to find too many listening ears here -- I think we're all Advice Ladies (and Gentlemen) here at Yahoo! Answers.
But good luck with it, anyway.
2007-07-04 23:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by Madame M 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, totally. Especially when it's people with no kids advising on parental advice. I just sit back and giggle at those people. They really have no clue. If I'm talking to people I'm always open to hearing opinions. Talking and being open about your life usually leads to that. It doesn't mean that I'm going to rush out and do whatever someone told me. People generally like to help others. I guess if you don't want to hear what people have to say, don't bring up certain topics. (There's my advice...hehe...don't hit me..)
2007-07-04 23:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that listening is a lost art... but i think that ppl offer advice because they sincerely want to help someone they feel may need a lil help or direction. i dont think ppl offer words of wisdom to piss you off. for the most part, they think they are helping you. we do live in a society full of quick fixes - where there is a solution to most everything. why see a neighbor in distress and not offer to help (if you can). i think it's human nature to most.
2007-07-04 23:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by lifesaclassroom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its rare that people give advise without at least some understanding of what they are talking about. who knows they might just have a piece to the puzzle your missing.
everyone wants to feel good about themselves and if it is a friend they are really just trying to help and be a friend. being annoyed by this shows that you.
No i do not get annoyed to other peoples advice. i analyze their information, and if i can prove them wrong then i try to see what they are trying to say. then i USE IT. if it turns out that what they said wasnt true. then i dont realy care at least it was worth a shot.
2007-07-04 23:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by ldsironman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely annoying! My little brother tries to tell me all this crap about how to fix computers when he has no idea how and I'm a computer science major!
2007-07-04 23:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Kay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do understand what you are talking about and I don`t like to give advice if I haven`t experience it yet my self, thank you for been so honest.
2007-07-05 13:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and if it's a major concern, Yahoo! Answers is probably not the best place to hang around.
2007-07-04 23:15:26 · answer #9 · answered by CrowT 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its annoying to me when people feel they can vent their frustrations, issues, whatever on me and expect me NOT to respond. If you don't want a reply, just shut up and take it elsewhere.
2007-07-04 23:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff the drummer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋