Ok im 35 and been happily married 14 yrs..2 yrs ago hubby went to iraq..1 night about 1 yr ago me and his brother who is also married went out for drinks,got drunk and went back to my house and ended up having sex and been having an affair since then..Well 2 months ago i found out i was pregnant and now hubby is coming home...Me and his brother ended things 2 weeks ago..I wanna tell hubby the truth but not who the affair was with cause i dont wanna cause trouble between him and his brother...Should i do this?
2007-07-04 15:01:29 · 57 answers · asked by vicky s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are a nightmare of a human being. You should be publicly beaten. Your husband risked his life serving his country and this is how you thank him. You are a worthless piece of stool
2007-07-04 15:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by heynow 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well sadly this is what happens when you open up a can of worms. It's too late as to dont wanna cause trouble for the damage is done. You were not just having an affair you were actually having a relationship with your brother n law. As to not sound hyprocrtical theres 2 suggestions I have for you as to hopefully help with your decision. One he's going to know the baby is not his as to he is on his way home so a termination might be your answer not that I agree with this. Two be strong and tell him the truth though no doubt he is going to flip and he has every right to question you on all aspects of who when why and how. If you choose to tell him the truth the pending father should be there with you as he is just as much to blame here as you. Course there is going to be confrontation and you both will be called every name under the sun but you have to take the bad with the good. you aren't the only woman that has done this but your husband hopefully wont fall into a depression after all he has been doing right by his country and helping us live in our lives free. You do what you think is right, I understand that you were lonely and hey we all need love though you should have used contraception. I don't condone what you did but I am sure you are regretting your decision and others will be not so agreeing with me right now. I hope you can come to terms with your actions and think hard about what consequences will hold for you in the future. Good Luck
2007-07-04 15:27:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you sure got yourself in a pickle! Why didn't you use protection! I can understand how the affair happened....two years is a long time when you are lonely so I am not gonna be judgemental. But....do you really want this baby? If so, I think you're gonna have to tell the truth...otherwise the family tension will get worse when the baby comes and all hell will break lose. Personally, I would not have the baby as it will cause so much pain in the family unless you decide to leave your husband and be with his brother and raise it together. Your husband will probably not want you anyway. If you decide not to have it, you need say nothing and live with the guilt to save your marriage and the heartbreak. Either way, looks like there is no easy way out. Or you could just leave the marriage and bring the baby up as a single parent. It's a nasty situation for you. I wish you luck.
2007-07-04 15:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you were so happily married you wouldn't have been messing around with your husband's backstabbing brother now, would you. If you didn't want to cause trouble between your hubby and his brother, you wouldn't have had an affair all this time now. The only thing I can tell you is be 100% honest with him and hope him divorcing you is the only thing he does. Hope he doesn't kill either of you, especially by putting knives in yours and his brother's backs.
Even if you abort, he has a good chance of finding everything out.
2007-07-04 15:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first does the brother know you are pregnant? Second, what are you going to do about the pregnancy? Unless your husband is a slow coach I dont think the theory of "Immaculate Conception" is going to work and there is no way you are going to convince him that he is the father. Your best bet is to tell the whole truth, eventually he will find out and he will really despise you for with-holding that from him. They are brothers, they will get over it. It may take time but they will. I fear though that you marriage may be damaged beyond repair. Your choices are not easy ones, keep the pregnancy and tell the whole truth, or the alternative. Terminate and say nothing, EVER! Take it to your death bed, deny deny deny. Either way you are going to shoulder some serious emotional consequenses for your actions. I am on my second tour in Iraq now and my ex-wife cheated on me when I was here the first time. I would have forgiven her transgression if she had told me the truth and ended it but she chose to lie and hide it. Well she refused to accept the blame and take responsibilty for her actions. Tell the truth, while I do not condone what you did I cannot pass judgement on you. Thats not my place. To steal a line from Baretta, "If you can't do the time, dont do the crime." You did it, now you have to deal with it.
2007-07-04 15:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by bad_karma7 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if we can call that a happy marriage then i don't want to ever experience a bad marriage.
i can't totally blame it on the alcohol. if it only happened once, ok it's the alcohol's fault. but you've been doing it for 1 year! i don't think that you get drunk every time you do it. so it's totally within your control.
that is actually a very common problem among families with one partner going abroad for long peroid of time. usually one partner can't handle being alone. so he/she gets tempted to have an affair while the other is away.
you can't hide your pregnancy. unless you abort it. (which i'm hoping you won't do). nothing else to do but tell him about it. and pray that he's kind enough to just split up with you.
i can't say what he will do. but i'm sure that if i were in his shoes, all hell would break loose.
2007-07-04 15:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Well Well oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive i am not going to beat you up on this one because i am sure everyone else is doing that already including your conscience hopefully you do have one but yes please do inform his brother that you will be revealing this secret to your husband and be sure to tell your husband right away and please don't use alcohol as a lame excuse to justify what you have done because it is so obvious that it's not being you been intimate with him several times after the fact cause that one is oh so played out just face up to the music the same way you was woman enough to get yourself in this mess the same way you should be woman enough to come clean with it whether you choose to get an abortion or not it will not make a bit of a difference in what you have already done so only get an abortion if you chose to do so.
2007-07-04 15:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by EGYPT 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG!
If you don't tell the truth now I pity you later. You had better PRAY that you have en understanding man because your going to need it.
The brother deserves everything he gets as well as you do and I'm sorry for putting it this way but the truth hurts sometimes.
Fess up and stay honest and out of the bedroom with other men.
Mike
PS< Did you plan on raising the child without him knowing the truth also!???
PSS, I hope he divorses you but then again I hope not because I would hate to think of having you in the dating pool now....
2007-07-04 15:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by towitout 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, there is really no way out of it. Your husband will know that it's not his baby and you need to tell him.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're going to have to face some tough music any way you slice it. You might as well tell him who the father is instead of waiting for him to find out. Being up-front may save your marriage, but hiding it from him will without a doubt destroy it. Don't doubt for a minute, though, that you will get what you deserve. Getting an abortion will probably make him angrier as he will think you hid it from him. If it were me, I would let him decide what the baby's fate should be. After all, he was the one slighted.
On the topic, what possessed you not to use a form of birth control?! What else possessed you to spread your legs while your husband was at war?!
2007-07-04 15:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by Alana 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. I'd tell him the truth as tough as it may seem. The first question he'll probably ask is with "who" you cheated on him with. You have to deal with the ramifications of any affair. Not to sound harsh, but you both should of thought about your husband before starting the affair. Be honest and tell him.
I'm sure some people will tell you NOT to say anything, but "you", not them will have to live with this for the rest of your marriage.
Good luck to you. Do the right thing.
2007-07-04 15:09:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
>Me and his brother ended things 2 weeks ago..
****
you did NOT end it if you are pregnant. You made a new life. Your husband could kill his brother. At the least they will have a split that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Take it head on. You have a child to raise and ur husband's brother is the father and will need to be part of the child's life.
This will be extremely stressful for your husband. He is finally coming home and hoping to relax and see you! Wow talk about being blind-sided.
Hard to predict, but its realistic to expect a divorce quickly.
2007-07-04 15:30:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋