Why do women let themselves get fat after marriage?

Question

I don't understand the mentality behind the thought that after marriage what was not acceptable before now will be.

For all of you who are inclined to get defensive, or offended, please keep in mind that I am not unaware of the fact that both genders gain weight. I know this. I am specifically interested in the thought of what I hear women saying when they come to buy thermogenic products (fat burners) before they wed. I hear statements like, "after the wedding it won't matter." Or, " I just have to lose so many pounds before I get married, then I don't have to worry about it." This is what I don't understand. I personally have battled the ten pound fluctuation for decades. I am not grouping all women together. I am not naive. I am physically fit because I work out regularly and hard. I just want to know why some women think once they marry, it's okay to gain weight when they were proposed to as thin women.

Answer 1

when people are single, they try to look they're best, pretty much to attract another goodlooking prospect. after already getting one, people are more relaxed, because they have a subconscience that of already keeping and trapping a mate. having kids is also a factor.

Answer 2

Yes, it happens to both sexes.
It is wrong. It is like 'false advertising'. A woman goes to alot of work during the dating years and intensive work before the wedding so that the man assumes that what he is signing up for he will get. Nothing is more disappointing to a man than to see that she no longer cares how she looks for him because she 'has him'.
I am a woman, and a lot of woman are insecure when I am around because I turn their excuses for gaining weight upside down. I have been married 13 years and have had 4 children and weigh 49kg (5 foot 5). Men whose wives have put on weight before or after kids look at me and think their wives have been lying all this time because if I can do it, why can't they! The fact is, women who want to look good always will look good always. It is like anything, you have to put in some effort. Not wanting to look good for your life partner is the first sign that maybe you don't think about the marriage in the long term. The marriage relationship lasts a long time, and it is a long time to endure if one partner is wondering if the other really cares.
I know that we should love each other for who we are, not how we look, but let's be realistic. The first attraction is usually physical, and often when marriages are going through tough times, it is the physical attraction that may be the only thread that pulls it back together again.
Let me say it again though, it works both ways. It is no use men being disgruntled about their women when they themselves may have also added on some kgs!

Answer 3

O'kay now I'm PISSED. You are obviously very young or very immature. I am 50 years old honey and I have been battling a wieght problem since I was 5. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS AHEAD OF YOU IN LIFE. So never say never. There are as many reasons for people to gain weight over the years as there are people. Babies are one---I gained over a 100 pounds with my oldest due to various medical things that almost destroyed me during the pregnancy. THe doctors had to stitich my skin on my belly together because it would rip. But thankfully, I delivered a healthy baby boy. I had to nearly die to do it. BUt my son was worth the pounds. The same for the second one. But my son's lives were the only things that mattered. I remember the cruelty of people, mostly women like you, who had no idea what I was going through judging me on the basis of my weight. Then there was the fight to get rid of it time after time. My wonderful hubby would stand by me and support me through it all. And now finally my body is letting the fat go. You have no idea what others are going through. Life is fair though. I have found that people like you draw a certain kind of Karma onto yourselves. Usually they end up having the problem that they judged. So enjoy your skinny little self as long as you can. It probably won't last forever. Good Luck.

Answer 4

It is kind of a double-edged sword. Men want women to stay the same as the day they married them. Women want men to change once they get married. So it can be false advertising for both.

However, I agree with you. I answered another question posted about a spouse gaining a lot of weight after marriage and my answer got some thumbs down.

It is practically an epidemic in my area of the country--Midwest USA. We have so many obese people that it freaks me and my husband out!

To answer your ?--no way should it be okay for a woman (or man) to pack on the pounds after marriage. Show some self-love and self-respect if not doing it for your partner. I want to be here when my great-grandchildren are around, I want to stay healthy and in great shape. I don't understand how so many Americans get soo okay with the idea that being overweight is just a normal part of aging!

Thanks for letting me rant!

Answer 5

I guess it's the normal mentality of women at work. It is usually the fat women who worked hard to lose weight in their single blessedness just so guys will notice them and fall in love with their sexiness. But it is hard keeping up with the trim figures if one is naturally voluptuous or obese so that after they get married, they decide that it does not matter anymore whether they gain back their fats or not they already have their man. This philosophy is entirely false and you're right, it was slim women who were proposed to by the men. Wouldn't the man feel cheated when he married a very sexy woman only to end up with a very fat lady?

Answer 6

A lot of problems move into weight reduction and weight obtain in females. The older females get the extra they're prone to obtain weight and the more difficult it's to lose. You do not cheat in view that your spouse is fats, you cheat in view that you don't have any admire in your marriage vows and the lady you're with. I won weight after I obtained married as a result of a few surgical procedures, one being a hysterectomy and I hardly ever consume something in any respect. Luckily my husband loves me for who I am and now not for what I seem like. I am now not fats however I do have a stomach, on the other hand he's wasting his hair and I nonetheless love him. Unless you're superb, you haven't correct to position someone else down for any cause.

Answer 7

Ya know, my hubby is one of the lucky ones, I see that all the time. We have asked eachother this as well, when we see how women and men alike letting themselves go after getting married. I think it is a sense of comfort, like ok I am married now, I can let myself go, but you keep in shape and be healthy for yourself not anyone else.
I am 110 and 5'1" and was within 1-2 pounds the same as the day we got married 18 yrs ago, and have had 3 kids since and dont see getting hefty anytime in the future.
Although, in alot of womens defense...may I add for alot of women it is not easy to lose the baby weight.

Answer 8

For the same reason I never farted in front of my wife while we were dating. We become more comfortable with who we are after we have found someone who will accept us warts and all. However, women who go into a marriage thinking that they are going to stop trying once they are married, will not stay married long. It isn't about acceptance then...it becomes a matter of intentionally hiding the real us, which is deceptive. People who intentionally deceive find themselves lonely. Not because they gained weight; but because no-one accepts people who are intentionally deceptive.

Answer 9

Maybe what one must understand is that- it isnt necessarily a mentality but a lack of time a person used to have to oneself due to being married and gaining a list of responsibilities one didnt have before. I have been married and divorced and we both gained weight durring the marriage but as soon as the individual was out of my house- it was like the weight melted away over a course of several months. Why? because i had the time to do things I didnt have before, such as go out and explore the city . I didnt have to cook for two, and I didnt have anyone to share the house work with. I had do mow my yard myself. I am sure there are many other factors that add to it too. but for me, these are the ones that come to mind.

Answer 10

I think it's that these particular woman are so wrapped up in the "day" and the determination to be as close to perfect as possible...I too have heard similar comments and in my opinion, I think yeah, love is love no matter your size, it's what's on the inside, but I'd like to comment to the responses that use having babies as excuses, I have two and while it's not always the case, that's lame...I lost all but maybe 6 pounds with both my children and I know alot of woman that you'd never know even gave birth, so using childbearing is ridiculous since it's not a reason to "go all out."

Answer 11

I think it is because as the woman's title continues to change from "wife" to "mother" the priorities change. Instead of having time to invest in themselves, the children become the main focus. Women are juggling so many things nowadays that personal care does not always top the chart of priorities, caring for the family does. On top of that, as their self-image takes a hit, so does the desire to take the time to look good. When you are a stay at home mom, it's easy to wear sweat pants and comfortable clothes all day, and wearing such things does not allow you to realize the weight gain as much as, say, wearing jeans or a business suit.