Do you have a best/special friend 'soulmate' that you can go to about anything?

Question

I am talking about friend of same gender. I don't and I wondered if this was common. I am sure the idea that everyone has a best friend or a 'soulmate' is wrong??

I have people who i get on with but I don't necessarily trust them like with a secret etc (sorry to sound cynical but life experience) and I could not really go to them if i had a problem.

If i had a really close friend it would be great. Sadly I don't, but I am sure one day I will meet someone.
If I had a friend who I got on with as well as I get on with my boyfriend, that understood me it would be great.

I have friend trouble, why are there always stories in media etc about finding love? Surely having a lack friends is common??? I think alot of people are lonely, and want more friends? It can't be just me!!

Answer 1

yes I do.
trust and understanding is what makes real friend and real soul mate. you will have both . in time. finding love will come your way also. don't be in a hurry for any of these. be sure. be positive first. you need to trust some one with all your heart first to find and know about real friendship. real soul mate and real love..

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I have the same problem as you, so no, you are not alone! My problem is sort of geographic, in that I just moved to a new place and haven't made any new friends yet, but also, up until four years ago I didn't have someone I could call my bff. . Then I met my friend T and we just clicked. But now I've moved away from her and she's all the way on the opposite side of the country! :( We still keep in touch, but it's different now.
I have always been jealous of the stories you hear about best friends or groups of friends that stick with each other and help each other through everything. You have to kind of stick your neck out and take a risk when it comes to friendship, you can't really just expect it to take off automatically! Talk to the friends you have and test them out. Tell a secret that you really don't mind if it gets out, and test their loyalty to you.

I do believe that there are friend-soul-mates, or bosom-buddies or kindred spirits as Ann of Green Gables called it. It's not fiction, it can't be because there are so many examples of it. Without friends, we are only a portion of what we can become. Good luck and hope you find someone like you are looking for. I hope I do too! :)

Answer 4

The thing is you would like to find a best friend. That is the first step, there are many people who do not need or want a close friend but you have found that you do. The best way to find a best friend is look for people who have the same interests as you, (ie food, belief system, hobbies, etc), then start talking to people about what you have in common, see where it goes from there.

Finding a best friend is much like finding a mate, partner, etc, except a best friend is far more rare and just as precious if not more so.You have to be open to finding friends just like you have to be open to find a lover, partner, etc. You have to be a friend to have a friend. This means being open, trusting and accepting that there can be and often going to be differences between you but your commonalities are what makes the friendship.

My best friends (I am blessed with two of them have been my best friends for 15 years or more) have been there for me through the good times, the bad times, break ups, surgery, sickness and health and I have been there for them. We do not always agree on everything but we care about each other enough to accept each other for our differences.

It is my hope you find the friend you are looking for.
Blessed Be
R

Answer 5

Not of the same gender. I find it difficult to be open with males. Partly due to my introvert nature and possibly due to the innate fear that opening up to a guy also opens you up to ridicule (in case you're wondering, guys tend to deal with uncomfortable situations with humor. This usually means making fun of someone.) The best friend I have now is someone I've worked with for the last 9 years. She and I have a great deal in common, right down to the issues we have with our spouses (we joke about them being twins separated at birth.) And, no, there's nothing going on between us except the friendship.

Maybe you're looking in the wrong place. Do you have to have a close friend of the same gender? A male-female relationship doesn't always have to be a physical one. Most of the good friends I've had in my life have been female. It's just worked out that way. Look for someone who has something in common with you. You might be surprised at finding a friend you never would have thought you could be close to.

As for the stories you see/hear.....don't put a lot of stock in them. Not saying they aren't true, but the media looks for the feel-good stories to offset the garbage they're always throwing our way. What's the best feel-good story? True love. And, who knows....it may be mostly a put on.

I agree with you: many people are lonely. Even if they aren't lonely, most people have room in their hearts for a good friend. I know I could use a few more! Keep up the search.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes, I have a friend of twenty two years standing. We are so different in just about every way but we have great respect of each others interests and activities and a common bond of absolute trust. We have no secrets.
Whenever we have problems or important decisions to make, we always make contact to get an honest opinion and caring advice. His support brings out the best in me.
We are always mindful of each other and our respective families.
We are each both an elder and younger brother to the other.
I cannot imagine what my life would be like if he was not there for me.
I am blessed to have such a friend and I sincerely wish that you will find your soulmate soon. Gender and age have nothing to do with it... you will know when it happens but treat it with care, nurture it and it will grow to be a love beyond your greatest expectations

Answer 7

I had the same problem like you i never trusted anyone with anything because of past expierences. I thought no one would understand me and stuff like that but one day i got talking to this girl at school and weve been best friends ever since. I tell her everything!! If you find someone you feel comftable with and can have a laugh with than i'm sure they'l be a really good friend to you and to get over the trust issues do what i did! I told a very small secret to them and if they tell someone than it's not meant to be! I'm sure you'll find a really good friend though don't worry! Every1 has a best mate out there somewhere you just have to find them!

Answer 8

It might take time but you'll find them. I was obsessive about finding a best friend so much that sometimes I worried I was searching for something that wasn't real. Now I have two friends who really are like an extension of me. You will make this friend, trust me but let go a little and remember nothings perfect, the person of your dreams might never come but your soulmate WILL. All relationships need work too, for all you know one of your friends now could be the one, go out on a limb and tell them something secret but that wouldn't kill you if they told. Who knows you might have a bestfriend sooner then you think.

Answer 9

I have a special friend/ soul mate. But not of the same gender.
We have been friends for over 30 years. She is married,but her hubby knew about me before he married her. And he is comfortable with our friendship.
My job is that of a long distance truck driver. I'm not married, and am for the most part always by myself, and life can get pretty lonely at times. My special friend is the only one I talk with, and we talk about everything from her grand kids to hemorrhoids. When you get into your 50's, conversation on just about anything is fair game. My friend can rant and rave to me on whatever is bothering her at the time and she knows my lip is zipped. And I can fuss about the ups and downs of the trucking business,of which she has no interest,but she still listens. Sometimes I will send her a controversial question on Y/A and we can tear into that.
If something ever happened to my friend, I don't know what I would do.

Answer 10

At one point and time I had a best friend that I could talk to about anything and nothing would go outside of our "secret circle". It was nice having a close friend like this. unfortunately, she had worked with me at my last job and i no longer work there. we still keep in touch by calling each other and emails. but its just not the same as hanging out like we used too.

Also have a male friend that happens to b my best friend. And I can talk to him about anythng and everything that is on my mind. He was always great about giving me advice when i needed it as well....i didnt always follow his good advice but atleast i tried from time to time.

Answer 11

Yes, I have a best friend. However, he is a man. I have known him for over 25 years. He is married, I am married. My husband knows I see and speak with him, I knew him b/4 we were married and if the worst were to happen, I would know him after. We grew up together, shared our teen years together, have spoken about our relationships, marriages, children and told each other things that we would never tell anyone else. I am thankful to have someone in my life who knows the best things I have done and the worst and does not care about either. We have a mutual respect for each other and listen without condemnation. Offer advise and council and are and will remain friends as long as I have anything to say about it.