My best male friend has been going through some rough times. I met him a few years ago through our career paths. He got divorced not too long ago, and I've tried to be there for him best I knew how. I developed feelings for this guy some time back but I would never pursue that and never intended to show him. He is now hinting at the fact of me and him going out. I already know that he has wonderful qualities and that he is admirable. I do not want to hurt him anymore but I want to be in a relationship when he is no longer physically or emotionally attracted to another woman. I don't want to mask the pain for him. But I do eventually want us to try this out because we have always fit. How can I continue to be there for him as his friend only and tell him that he needs to get his wounds healed before we can pursue a relationship? I want to leave the door open for a possible relationship, just not at this very time. I don't want him acting weird now towards our friendship though.
2007-07-04 12:58:52 · 11 answers · asked by Caroline 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is interesting..he is your friend correct?therefore he should already care for you..you would'nt be a rebound,you would be a healer..as he is healing you are there with him with your loving arms awaiting to embrace him and love him..best thing to do is go slow..you've been wanting him now it is almost time..just reel him in...if he is divorced,it is over..it is a door that has been closed shut..now, a new door opens and that is you,his friend that has shown him unconditional love and you have been so patient and so sincere..this friendship will blend into a romance..and the friendship will be the strong foundation..good luck
2007-07-04 13:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you might tell him exactly what you have told the readers here. Or you might say, look, we are friends and yes someday I would like to take it a step further, but now I feel that you need some space to get over (the x) and you dont want to feel that he is rebounding to you. If he is a true friend he will understand. Only you know how sensitive he is. Sometimes after an ordeal such as a divorce some people rebound too soon in order to mask their pain and hurt and feelings of rejection. Good luck.
2007-07-04 13:21:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with going out with him, hanging with him, but not being his -lover-. If he's a good friend, tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to help him get over his divorce and feel better. And you won't rule out a romantic relationship, but you don't think it's a good idea just now. A reasonable guy ought to be able to deal with that.
Women I've known seem to have the idea that if a guy and girl get to be good friends then it's too late for a romantic relationship. I don't know why they feel this way. Do you feel this way? I mean you could be right, but I've never met a guy who thought that. I think if you're good friends, you could eventually become lovers, when the time is right.
And if he really wants a relationship with you, he'll be patient. And you'll help him a lot, just by being patient with him and being 'there for him'! So it could work out very well.
2007-07-04 13:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel. Let him know that you do want there to eventually be something between the both of you but the time is not now. He needs to go out and probably get his life back together before you can both take a relationship with one another seriously. Im sure if your are as close as you say that he should be understanding, maybe a little hurt but definaitly understanding. good luck
2007-07-04 13:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by gmd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you have a big heart and your intend is so pure but at the same time longing for his affection. Yes what you have now will continue later in life. Your friends is devastated because of his failing marriage but if I were you I will tell him that he can count on you for shoulder to lean on, and if one day he is all heal,then you will welcome him with an open arms. Tell him that you care for him but care enough to let him work on his issues. And when his over that feelings for her,then he can pursue what he two of you want,.just be honest and open with him, try not to hide your feelings,that's the only way he will ease his pain, from your honesty..
2007-07-04 13:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are afraid of being a rebound girl and even if he isnsits you arent, tell him you want to make sure that he is completely over his ex first, tell him to go on a few dates and then come and talk about his feelings for you. Tell him you are not ready yet, you want to make sure the time is right because you care about him too much to lose a best friend and a lover because he is jumping the gun. Not exactly in those words though.
2007-07-04 13:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 02:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by cronican 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very, very wise. I think if you told him what you just told us, he would understand. You don't want to be a rebound because you are close and convenient and if he cares for you, he wouldn't want that for you either. Go slow, take your time. I hope it works out for you both.
2007-07-04 13:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Dulos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a good friend and a smart lady.
I think if you just talk to him and tell him what you said here, it should all work out.
Good luck!
2007-07-04 13:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
communication and understanding is most important in any relationship. be out right honest . speak your feelings and thoughts. you will be fine.
2007-07-04 13:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋