I have been married for many years. My wife works very hard and takes good care of the members of the family. She doesn't show affection that much. She believes that actions are better than words, but I could hire people for that purpose. For years, I have felt the need for affection. I want to be held, comforted, made to feel important and valued. At times, the risky and costly choice of finding somone new seems very compelling. I have tried to talk with her about what I feel I need, but she either can't or doesn't want to understand. The truth is, however, that I am still deeply in love with her. Help! I feel like I am drowning. Is there no end to this brokeness?
Bob
2007-07-04 12:29:27 · 11 answers · asked by Bob 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are people out there that can't show affection toward someone else, instead they do as your wife is doing and she is right in some aspects, action speaks louder than words, but also she has a husband who is craving her attention. You have already tried the talking, so now you need to make it clear to her something has to give. If she loves you like I think she does, she will not want anything to come between you two.
2007-07-04 13:08:20 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bob, you two have created a nice big rut in the relationship. Some are o.k. but others are destructive. Bad things about these ruts is they become a part of our comfort zone. Years and years of doing or accepting these ruts, take their toll. The rough part is when the lite comes on, and we realize something is terribly wrong. So far I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. You get out of a rut the same way a car gets out! Start rocking the relationship. A little here, a little there. Give a push toward where you want to go, and then back off, start again. Note: It took years to create the rut, it will take months to get out of it. If you push too hard it destroys the attempt, just like a car! Patience and practice.
2007-07-04 19:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AWWW... an affectionate man, that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard from a man Bob..
I am sure she does love you maybe, she just doesn't know how to show it in the way you want it. She may not have had a loving home growing up. Is she loving with your kids? If so maybe tell her you need a little of what the kids get when it comes to affection. I am sorry to hear your dilemma the only advice I can give is to talk to her more about it. Grab her up in the kitchen and give her a hug, see how she reacts..good luck
2007-07-04 19:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to divorce and find someone more in tune with your needs. Think about it: a younger, sexier woman to share in the joys of life with you. Go for it - you know this is what you want!
"Why can't she just love me?" Only she can answer that question. If she either can't or doesn't want to understand, then it clear that she's not in love with you. When you come to her in a time of need and she casts you aside, that isn't love. You may be deeply in love with her, but a one-sided love affair isn't marriage.
2007-07-04 19:46:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where your coming from Bob. I'm married and very much in love with my husband but yearn for acceptance.
Have you asked her to go to counseling? Does she realize how love-starved you are?
Maby if you told her that you've thought about getting out of the marriage and finding someone that is loving and affectionate she might listen.
2007-07-04 19:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still in love with her, then don't consider the option of another. Talk to her and tell her. Tell her it's serious. I wish there were more decent men in the world like you. I hope she comes around. If she refuses and doesn't even try, then you desserve to be happy in your life and move on. Good luck.
2007-07-04 19:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bob, you remind me of a song from Fidler on the Roof...take a listen to "do you love me?" from that musical. Actions DO speak louder than words..you just are not listening.
2007-07-04 19:40:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Was she always like this? I doubt she just sprang it on you recently. Why is it bothering you now?
2007-07-04 22:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by fnd40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this very silly woman needs to take action really quick.....you are on your way out.
2007-07-05 02:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go to counseling. then ask her to join you.
2007-07-04 19:42:20 · answer #10 · answered by phantom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋