How often do you shout at your kids? is it okay to shout at your kids?

Question

Now that I got your attention....I'm a first time mom and my precious 14 month’s daughter can some times get on my nerves to the point that I start shouting at her like crazy. My mom used to shout at us every single day and I took an oath that I would never do this to my kids and there I am doing something I promised my self not to. I'm depressed and consumed by guilt feeling. How can I stop this? I'm desperate for any help.

Answer 1

yes and it is also okay to spank them. parents should not be afraid of disciplining their kids. do not feel guilty. as long as you are not calling her a *** *** ** ** * * ****** or what not when you are shouting, it is okay.

however, after the shouting is over, a talk with calm words helps. shouting doesn't get the point across, it just demands authority.

Answer 2

Shouting happens. We are only human.
Read all the answers. I thumbs-upped the good ones.
You may not be able to keep from shouting. You have so much invested in the child, that your emotions will run high. You can stop yourself after a minute or so. Explain as well as you can, remembering that this is a very young child. Always end on a positive note by reiterating just how much you love her. She will remember the love and not much else. Forgive yourself. You will get better. John Rosemond is a pretty good parenting teacher. He is published in several newspapers.
God bless you. Raising a child is very hard work. C. :)!!

Answer 3

Such is the life of a parent. Seriously, if your kid did something stupid, which everyone does regardless of age, feel free to shout. You're not being your mother by doing this, you're being a responsible parent.

It KILLS me to see these other answerers telling you not to yell at your kid. That's why so many more children are getting messed up in the heads and don't know right from wrong. It's your job to not just be their parent, but also their disciplinarian. Like the other girl said, if you DO end up yelling at them, afterwards make sure to comfort them and explain the reasoning behind why you yelled at them, give them a hug, etc.

Answer 4

I'm a screamer, too, and I get it from my mom, too. You can apologize to your daughter. Don't beat up on yourself and stop being depressed and consumed by guilt. Practice, practice, practice--when those feelings start welling up inside of you, take a deep breath and tell yourself no shouting. Walk over to her, get down at her level, look her in the eye and tell her to stop or use diversion. Sometimes we need help, like Dora, Barney, the Backyardigan--check out Nick Jr. on the cable. Make sure she's not hungry or tired--same for you Mom. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well when a child is being obstinate, a nice stinging SLAP usually does the job, cause shouting is only going to wane on your vocal cords and affect you more than it does the child. If you don't like hitting either, I would suggest Negotiation. Simply explain to the child that if she does not behave, she will be deprived of something she loves or enjoys doing. For example, if she doesn't behave, no dolly, no tv etc. She's only 14 months so you'll need to tell her in a way she understands.

Answer 6

Don't let that guilt consume you. Taking care of a child is tough. It changes our lives to the point where we don't even recognize ourselves.

Every time you feel a yell in progress...stop. Do whatever you need to--count to 10 (or 100), step into another room to compose yourself, force a smile on your face, anything that will stop that yell in its tracks.

You can do this. And remember, you're yelling because you're frustrated. Perhaps you need some time away--a night out with your girlfriends. Make time for yourself, and everyone will benefit.

Best of luck.

Answer 7

You NEVER SHOUT unless the house is on fire. Shame on you for shouting at an innocent little girl who does nothing but love you. She's going into the "terrible twos" where she is learning at an accellerated pace and is not yet able to separate whatever it is that has her attention, for the moment, and what you are saying. She still has tunnel vision. You need to start distracting her from whatever it is that you don't want her to do by offering a substitute.

Stop the shouting immediately so you won't damage her self-esteem and give her a miserable inferiority complex.

You probably could do with some parenting classes, as well.

Answer 8

Before you snap,leave the room,or you're gonna end up with a child who is terrified of you.
Instead of shouting like mad(we all shout,for crying out loud),approach your little girl,bend down to her level and explain to her what she's doing wrong.Control your voice.
I have the loudest mouth on the bloody planet,trust me,leave the room and breathe,then explain to her.Good luck.

Answer 9

Try putting a string on your finger so that every time your daughter would get on your nerves you'll remember the string is there and you won't shout.

Answer 10

I can relate! I also hate that yelling is my first reaction. I definitely think that the best thing you could do would be to apologize to your daughter. That is the only thing that helps me to think about what I'm doing. I've cried about my behavior and woke my daughter up to tell her I was sorry. I explained how I yell without thinking and I don't want her to hurt her. She hugged my neck and cried. She thought she was a bad child. The thought of that conversation comes to me when I begin to raise my voice. You have to make yourself accountable. Make memories that will stand out...you will remember them when it is necessary.