what happends when the male in the marriage doesnt like to give attention?

Question

holding hands kissing cuddling etc?

Answer 1

Then they are effing with your self esteem. A man that loves you makes you feel loved. Good men are few and far between. If you let him getaway with it, then he is controlling you.

Answer 2

If the female in the relationship doesntneed or wat it then theres no problem...but lets face it, we ALL need attention! Some may need more than others, but as humans we all need to be and FEEL loved. When we dont FEEL loved, even if we are, we feel like worthless crap. Marriage is work and both parties need to contribute to the relationship by showing love and affection, among many other things. Many horibble things can happen:

-affairs
-addiction
-depression
-low self esteem
-divorce
-feelings of resentment
-jealosy
-trust issues
-eating disorders

My husband has a hard time telling me nice things and showing affection. I feel like im always having to pull compliments out of him. Ive struggled with a lot of things because of it. I wish guys would just understand that a little thoughtfullness would go such a long way!

Answer 3

It depends if he was this way to begin with or if it was a change you began to see in him. If he has always lacked giving affection to you, then you shouldn't nag him on this. This is something you should have picked up on, and it's probably his nature. However, if he used to be very affectionate and this stopped, it could be that he desires respect from you. Tell him you appreciate him busting his butt at work to provide for your family, that you are thankful he does not talk about you in front of your kids or friends when you two disagree, that he really helped you out when he put the dishes away for you. Watch his ballgame with him and don't ride him for wanting to do so.. just be present and show him that even though you aren't into his sports, you want to be by his side and watch it just bc it interests him. Men like to be respected and worth something. I think in turn, he'll begin to show you the love and affection you are desiring.

Answer 4

I think eventually the wife gets fed up and finds attention elsewhere. Sad, but true. This works the other way too. Many people-- I don't know why-- seem to think that once they have that wedding certificate, they don't have to put any effort into the marriage. I actually went to marriage counseling with my husbad (the final straw was a Valentine's day when I called to remind him that it WAS Valentine's Day, and could he please make some restaurant reservations, and I didn't even get a card and we ate leftovers). The counselor (who sucked, by the way) says, "He doesn't have to pursue you anymore-- he's got you!" Riiight. Well, it's been 9 years of this and I'm seriously considering divorce now.

You have to nourish your relationships or they will wilt and die, simple as that.

Answer 5

Probably what will happen is;
*You'll feel like he doesn't love you much.
*Then you'll get angry.
*Then you'll get resentful.
*Then you might not enjoy the sex that he probably wants.
*Then you'll think maybe you could get that cuddling from someone else.
If you ask your husband why he doesn't do these things he'll probably say, "I don't know."
I never had this kind of problem with my husband but I know someone that does. It's quite a dilemma. If you like that kind of attention & he doesn't.
And, of course, if he didn't have that attention as a child then he doesn't have a clue how important it is...even if he loves you like mad !!
You might mention to him that foreplay begins out of, and not in, the bedroom (in many different ways).

Answer 6

My husband is the same way....and I am the opposite. You have some choices..... deal with it....leave him....or talk it out and try to compromise....you wont demand or expect so much attention if he agrees to try a little harder to be attentive.
I chose and still choose the last option...he forgets occasionally to be attentive and I just have to remind him. He doesn't "neglect" from a lack of love...he just never had much physical affection in his life.

Answer 7

Maybe he is just not affectionate. My boyfriend is totally like that never shows me any affection. Unless we are in the bedroom. Men are wierd they are very insensitive when it comes to any affection. Don't worry it is just a man thing he still loves you.

Answer 8

Men find it difficult to give women attention so it is up to women to give them attention.
When grandpa ignores grandma she flirts with him.
She gives him hugs and winks at him.
He laughs and says "she wants me, that wild woman"
Then they both laugh.
My Aunt does the same thing she is always after her husband.
Women have to let them know they are loved.

Answer 9

well it will feel like he never really loves me in the first place, but there's men out there that hard to show their affection. Why don't you talk to your husband about what he can't do, one way or the other he needs to know what's missing in your relationship.....

Answer 10

If you need affection and he isn't willing to give it to you, I would bet that you will become very unhappily married and may find someone else who will hold your hand. Eeek!