I just moved back in with my husband after being seperated for 1 year. There were a lot of problems. He was lying. That was the major issue. During counseling one issue that I braught up was his porn habit. He said he stopped. But I found out that he's been looking at it. I don't care much that he looks at it. I find it really upsetting that he lied. Again. He has lied about major things. I moved in only 3 days ago and he says I can move out if I don't like it. I feel stressed. We have a 5 year old daughter together. I have no family around and I was so happy living alone. I wasnted to give the marriage another chance. But I feel I will never be able to satisfy this man. He hurts me. I feel so lonely and scared.
2007-07-04 10:54:03 · 13 answers · asked by kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie,
I think you answered your own question, any man who lies can never love. Its a known fact. The fact that he does not love you, is not a reflection of you, but it is a relfection of himself. Also, further evidence is the porn issue, which shows a complete lack of regard for the respect of women as valuable entities. He disrespects women in general, but you are respectable.
I would move out, and start a life without him. From what you describe he is verbally abusive. You feel scared and lonely because you are in a relationship with an abuser, those feelings are only natural and a manifestation of emotional abuse. I would pray to god for direction in your life, for peace... and to make you again the whole person that you deserve to be. Never ever let any man make you feel like this.
2007-07-04 11:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by EM-water2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to "educate" her as if she is a dog!!! first of all, your current situation must me the consequence of something... what has been happening between you two?? haven't you tried to consider that she must be even less satisfied than you are?? you are thinking just about "fingering" and stuff like that when maybe the source of the problem is communication?, empathy? and understanding??? anything else Beyond the mere sexual act? And don't even try to take this situation as an excuse and cheat on your wife now!! That would very selfish and even immature for a man of your age... Try to listen what she has to say and DON'T JUDGE her of having traditional thoughts... im sure there's a lot to save in in your marriage, even more after 22 years!!!!! Good luck and sorry If I spoke strongly but men sometimes are so thoughtless....
2016-05-18 01:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was writing out point by point at first I was feeling its impossible-then in this case it came to me 'with God all things are possible'
there is a better way-study this and say the prayer and then share this with him.
I suggest=help from above-in honor and care with commitment, any decent acting girl or guy should expect to be respected.
and this is a guide to help you understand= John 3 repent from sins, even one lie and ask Jesus in to be your friend and help you understand, amen.
this helped me most the words of Jesus spoken from heaven for us= Revelation 1:1 (chapter 1: verse 1) & 3:19&20 "As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be quick therefore and repent (turn from your sins/even one lie, to me. Behold I stand at your heart's door and knock, if you hear my word and open the door, I will come in and be your friend."
so i prayed "Jesus forgive me for my lust and lies, and other things and help me do better, be my friend, amen."
and truely Jesus became my best friend.
then your ready for the respect of others and the joy of life and heaven too=Seize the Day with Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Simplicity of the Good News
"It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple is always to abide solely by the word of God in all simplicity." - THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP
Putting God's Principles into action
We can make it all very difficult. In fact, we can make the good news obscure. We can make it an object of historical study, or the focus of a philosophical or ethical treatise, rather than a word which addresses us and challenges us to believe its precepts and to live accordingly. What is difficult about the Bible is not so much in understanding it, but in living it out.
What the Bible is saying
But God has blessed you, because your eyes can see and your ears can hear! Many prophets and good people were eager to see what you see and to hear what you hear. But I tell you that they did not see or hear. (Matthew 13:16-17)
Thoughts
The disciple wants to hear the Word of the Master and, because he or she loves the Master and is loved by Him, finds the Masters words believable and livable.
Praying the best for you too, David -you cant lose no matter what your a winner-he has to make the choice to be a winner or loser too, I think he wants to be a winner.
2007-07-04 11:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have given him every opportunity to help make this thing better. It can't be 100% you. Sometimes it's even 90-10. But not 100% from one partner all the time. I'm sorry that you have to go through this but you will make it. Remember you are teaching your baby girl what is acceptable from a man. Good luck!
2007-07-04 11:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by jaclynridge 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
re: I moved in only 3 days ago and he says I can move out if I don't like it. I feel stressed. you know what hes telling you? hes telling you to knock off the head games... i dont blame him...ive read your other questions and cannot blame him...you better think about what is really important and forget about the porn issues and all the other crap you drone on aabout....if you want your husband that is....
2007-07-04 11:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've only been cohabitating for 3 days and he's already saying "if you don't like it, leave", it doesn't sound like he's very comitted to meeting you halfway, creating a partnership, or willing to show any compassion and compromise. Sorry, it sounds like this is one-sided. He's had a year to get his **** together. Regardless of how you may or may not be contributing to the stress, his being dismissive of you and your feelings is (to me) emotionally abusive.
If I were you, I would leave as he suggests, file for divorce, and try to maintain a civil relationship for the sake of your daughter.
2007-07-04 10:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by Courtney 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he's not going to change and you shouldn't have to accept his lying all the time go back out on your own you aren't doing your daughter any favors by staying the marriage as far as you are concerned is over so walk away he is then only your daughter's father and no longer your husband or your problem
2007-07-04 11:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by Tabitha T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My first husband was addicted to porn and passed the habit to my oldest son. He was also a complusive liar. Get rid of him before he influences your daughter. Once you divorce, you need to be careful on visitation since he may expose her to it. It is a disease which I pray is curable. They need belief in a Higher Power to conquer this obsession.
2007-07-04 11:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by kbemje2000 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, Your marriage can be saved. God says all things are possible for those who seek him.
Keep praying for him, he'll have to stop. The power of prayer is stronger that anything.
Know God, Know Peace. No God, No Peace.
Love, Child of God.
2007-07-04 11:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you go back to the counsellor & tell how you feel?
Discuss these other major things he has lied about.
Porn can be a damaging addiction, he may never be free.
But if that is the worst he does, be grateful.
Explain how his lying make it hard to trust him.
2007-07-04 11:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by Robert S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋