My husband has a past with this one woman who was his first, which was more then 20 yrs ago. He went out with her again when at same time dating a very nice outgoing girl. And again when he was single short yrs ago. When (we) dated, she came again at a xmas party uninvited to ask him if he has any plans? Which at that time he told her he was seeing me. We have been married so far for 3 yrs became good christains who love the Lord. Now this woman is back in the picture once again showing up at my husbands old buddies partys here + there asking about him. I feel in the middle and fear of losing him. I don't feel right about this at all. My husband being a christain wants to see them and (her) to preach to them which i told him,"they can get it else where if we pray for someone else to step in to share Gods word not you! and leave the past in past!!" i want to know why men go back to the same woman of the past over and over? Our sex is good with oral sex as well!!!!!
2007-07-04 10:47:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have done all you can. He has no business preaching anything to anybody. He can not be a "light" in the street and "darkness" in his house. There is no greater dishonor to God than for a man to neglect his home (wife, children, etc.). Do not hint with words, tell him clearly and precisely that you will not tolerate his excuses nor his so called Godly "love" for his buddies. You enjoy oral sex? Bite it off if he doesn't listen. Girl you have given your all to him and he better respect you!! God will understand. It's better to go to heaven with out an eye than go to hell in one piece!! Good luck
2007-07-04 17:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The thing is, this woman that you really care about and claim that are madly in love with, is a combination of all her attitudes towards everything in life, based on whatever her past is since she was born. So ... If you really love her, then, fact is, you should be thankful for her past, because if she had a different past, she'd be whole different person now :) And it's life. It's all RELATIVE. The things that seem embarrassing to you, do not seem embarrassing to many people. You might think that your past is really fine and okay! But I'm sure there are people who do not approve of your past as well... She's what you hold in your arms. She isn't anything else but that... Respect her for what she is... Let bygones be bygones. If our past haunts us wherever we go, there won't be a single person who will respect and trust us.
2016-05-18 01:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy for many years and continued (when neither of us were with anyone else) to have sex with each other for 5 years after wards. Why? Because we are best friends and we have needs. We have great sex and get each other like no one else. We are still very good friends, but gave up the sex portion of things. It wasn't healthy. It was like a crutch for not putting in time with someone else. On paper we were perfect. Best friends and great sex. In reality, we just didn't work. Now that we both realize it was unhealthy and holding us back from something lasting with new people, we are much happier and keep things platonic.
As for your husband, perhaps he isn't there yet and she is just a crutch. Or perhaps he is a crutch for her and he is really trying to help her. These are questions he should ask himself and then be honest with you.
2007-07-04 11:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by shoegal0675 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him this question, not a bunch of strangers. You are his wife and you have a right and a responsibility to protect your marriage. He should have no contact with his woman, if he wants to stay faithful to you. Since you are both Christians, you should seek marriage counseling through your church. Sometimes it helps a man, if he hears the right answer coming from someone other than his wife. Good luck!
2007-07-04 11:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by historybuff33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holidaymom61, Gosh I am sorry, as a born again christian he should know better ! But that first love is like an old pair of shoes or an old jacket,they are coforatable and just feel right.But if he truly loves you he can break it !Plus he knows the price he would pay on jugement day !
2007-07-04 11:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are like that. I am way more sexual then my husband. Also, to answer your question about why men go back to ex's for sex... here's my reasoning. 1) It's familiar. 2) Makes them feel wanted. 3) They are not adding to their number if they have already slept with this person. I have used number three to justify myself before too...
2007-07-04 11:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling is needed first from above-I am glad your both believers now-obviously she isnt. Snakes do look for warm places of the past with little regret.
the devil is an expert at getting guys well intentioned to save snakes of their past-you advised him well.
Since she keeps showing up-I advise you to hang together with good Christians-not the old haunts-you have tried to share the gospel there-now shake off the dust and in Jesus trust. express yourself as "I love you, I feel hurt when you dont care how I feel-It is God first, family second, and ministry 3rd
If there is no other way let him know you desire to be there too-when she is shared with, with you there, your no longer a misplaced person.
I suggest if your church doesnt have things for married couples that you visit another bible fellowship church or assembly of God and find out what is offered.
& this is some deeper help too=I suggest=help from above-in honor and care with commitment, any decent acting girl or guy should expect to be respected.
and this is a guide to help you understand= John 3 repent from sins, even one lie and ask Jesus in to be your friend and help you understand, amen.
this helped me most the words of Jesus spoken from heaven for us= Revelation 1:1 (chapter 1: verse 1) & 3:19&20 "As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be quick therefore and repent (turn from your sins/even one lie, to me. Behold I stand at your heart's door and knock, if you hear my word and open the door, I will come in and be your friend."
so i prayed "Jesus forgive me for my lust and lies, and other things and help me do better, be my friend, amen."
and truely Jesus became my best friend.
then your ready for the respect of others and the joy of life and heaven too=Seize the Day with Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Simplicity of the Good News
"It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple is always to abide solely by the word of God in all simplicity." - THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP
Putting God's Principles into action
We can make it all very difficult. In fact, we can make the good news obscure. We can make it an object of historical study, or the focus of a philosophical or ethical treatise, rather than a word which addresses us and challenges us to believe its precepts and to live accordingly. What is difficult about the Bible is not so much in understanding it, but in living it out.
What the Bible is saying
But God has blessed you, because your eyes can see and your ears can hear! Many prophets and good people were eager to see what you see and to hear what you hear. But I tell you that they did not see or hear. (Matthew 13:16-17)
Thoughts
The disciple wants to hear the Word of the Master and, because he or she loves the Master and is loved by Him, finds the Masters words believable and livable.
Praying the best for you too, David
2007-07-04 11:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to take your husband to your pastor or another man in the church he respects and get this issue into the open. He needs to be accountable to someone (other than you).
He has some kind of weird attachment to this woman, and she's cruel and nasty to be shoving her nose into his life over and over again.
He should NEVER see her again. If she is hanging around his friends' houses, they need to know they will have to choose between your husband and her, and if they choose her, they aren't your friends.
2007-07-04 11:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a sure piece of p u s s y no strings attached on the side . men cant turn it down even when they have it at home . a man is as faithful as his options he may not look for it but if it pops up and he thinks there is no risk you are screwed and so was she
2007-07-04 11:20:17 · answer #9 · answered by hotblonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why do men seems to go back or even have sex with their old same girlfriend of past over and over?"
You buy new jeans all the time, but there's nothing like putting that old pair that you've broken in and worn out in all the right places.
2007-07-04 10:53:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋