when you hear someone use the word gay as an adjective to describe something or someone as stupid or dumb..?

Question

do you say anything to stop it? be honest. if you don't, why dont you? i find it just as bad as using 'retarded' as a word to describe something ridiculous.

Answer 1

I am a teacher. And I have had many students who refer to something being "stupid" as being gay.
I must also tell you that I AM A GAY MAN and many of my students knows that I am gay. When I first heard someone referring to something as being "gay, " I was outraged! I thought they were mocking me, then I realized its just another slang term that young adults/teens use....

I do not allow it to be stated in my classroom. However having stated all of the above, the kids (for the most part-not all) do not use the term to defame gay people. Once again I do not allow it in my classroom, but I am also not a "militant fag" who is going to go out on a crusade because teens say something is "gay."

My suggestion is too just accept that that is part of their lingo. From my own personal experience I have witnessed many teens grow up and away from saying things of this nature.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

What's even more dumb is when it's translated into another language. My hubby teaches Australian Sign Language (Auslan) and has to correct kids all the time. The "that's dumb" kind of "that's gay" may be normal teenage slang in English, but in Auslan, it doesn't have that same meaning. He's always saying "No, that computer isn't a homosexual man." They don't know just how dumb it looks in Auslan. Any Deaf person would laugh at them.

Answer 3

Usually when I hear the terms retarded or gay used in such a
manner it's being said by a person much younger than myself.
They are usually grade school to high school age. For that reason I usually just shake my head and try not to give a severely judgemental look. Not everyone matures at the same
rate. So I don't think I should hold a person that young as accountable for what they say as I should a thirty-something person.

Usually when a full-fledged adult makes that type of remark it
is an intentional slur to same-sex oriented people. If it's a one
on one situation I just shake my head and fall silent. They will
usually make a remark like, "Not that I have anything against
gay people". Then I just smirk cryptically and try to change the subject. When it becomes a whole "a-men" corner of full-will baptists cracking gay jokes and yelling " Adam and Eve" not "Adam and Steve" that's when I feel compelled to leave the room. There's no way to successfully argue a point with a clearly intolerant person. I find that the silent treatment works better. I have had a couple situations in which I had to withdraw from friendships because the person was rascist or sexist. I can't stand that type of negative energy hanging around me. Again in some situations you can't argue debate or reproach because the person will find a way to justify being a hate-monger. Oh and believe me I have tried and learned never to try and convert a hatemonger again. I ended a friendship because another male kept using the word, "cracker" around me. I tried to explain that it was a racial slur and hypo-critical to complain about racism and practice it. This person gave several excuses to keep using the word and so I had no choice but to disassociate from that source of negative energy. So I guess the short end of my long answer is that I treat different situations differently depending on the age of the people and the number of the party or parties involved.

Answer 4

Yes, it is just as bad as using the word "retarded". I can't stand either one. I have only heard one person use it. I didn't say anything because I'm not the kind of person who likes confrontation and it happened to be at a temp. job. I'm not comfortable being out at work unless it's an obviously accepting environment. But, then, I'm from a small town on the Iron Range - part of the Bible Belt and not an overly tolerant or accepting environment.

Answer 5

I have a variety of responses from dirty looks to asking how a/n ______ could possibly be gay since it is an inanimate object.
:)

Sometimes I just say, "well, there is nothing wrong with that." I hate how ignorant some can be when they speak. Often I just ignore them and allow the ignoring to extend to other moments.

p.s. I also like how you mentioned the R word as well, because I am disgusted when people use that word.
When in management I had to seriously lecture kids about that word. Just because someone seems "normal" a.k.a. "like you" doesn't mean that the person you are talking to doesn't know the people whose label you are trying to turn into a derogatory word... and it doesn't mean they aren't offended.

Retard is Latin (?) for slow. This should not be a cruel word, but thanks to jerks the word has been turned into something ugly.

I had one employee use the word "d*ke" to insult girls she new while around me. I finally talked to her about it. The situation was funny because her excuse was that no one was around (I guess she thought I would be "down" with hatred.)
I simply said "I am."

Her eyes got wide; her mouth shut, and she never used those words around me again.

:)

Answer 6

I don't think its offensive at all. Its not meant to be offensive really when people say it.. It is just a slang term that seems to have stuck..and when they say it I am quite sure they aren't refering to sexual orientation. Many words have multiple meanings, gay once meant something completely different.. So I guess it has yet another meaning..Just like people saying "thats retarded". I highly doubt there intentions are to be demeaning to mentally handicap people. I have been guilty of saying both things, and trust me, I am far from discriminating anyone. I think people need to relax, and lighten up. Words are just that..The more it is used, the less meaning it has to its actual origin, if you catch my drift.

Answer 7

I completely agree with you! In fact, I once posted a question about this. I think that whenever people use the words "gay" or "retarded" in those contexts, it suggests that they have a limited vocabulary. What's worse, I once heard a college English instructor use the word "retarded" in that way, and I certainly didn't think it reflected well on her.

Answer 8

I'm with you on disliking those terms but I'll admit to using those terms on occasion. Why do I sometimes use them as a pejorative? Because with some neanderthal types it's the best way to get something to sink into their thick skulls. You 'appeal' to their insecurities by using statements like:
"Dumping rocks off the overpass is retarded! How'd you come up with something so gay?"

It doesn't matter that the folks those obscenities are aimed at would NEVER do something that asinine! When you've got a dork with a forehead that slopes like a chicken house roof, logic won't work to keep them from doing something idiotic, you've got to lower yourself to their moronic level.

Edit:

Just to make myself clear, I am NOT in the habit of using those words in that manner and I will verbally slap down semi-intellegent types that do so. But there *are* folks in this world that are hopeless cases and with those types of 'people' (and I'm using the term people loosely here) you deal with them on their level. Look at any case of hate crime and the 'mentality' of the losers that committed the crime. Then in my example replace "throwing rocks" with "chain him to your bumper" or " assault him with a pipe". James Byrd and/or David Ritcheson wouldn't be anywhere near so 'popular' with web searches.
Think about it.

Answer 9

Sometimes yes, I do. Like in my work place, that's where I know I can actually see if my words have had an effect on the person I will meet again tomorrow. I have tried doing it at supermarkets and other public places, all I got were blank stares and a hush-shun shrug.

Answer 10

I try to inform them by using it as a negative adjective they are ultimately harming people. Using the word that describes my sexuality to express discontent with something is hurtful and also illogical.