I have been with my boyfriend for five years now. We have a daughter together. He has been acting very strange lately. He doesn't come up and give me a kiss or hug when he gets home from work, he doesn'talk to me anymore, he doesn't even go to bed when I do anymore(he stays up and watchs tv and falls asleep on the couch), and he has been getting home from work later and later. He hasn't acted like this since last year. And when he did act like this I made a mistake and had affair with someone else. I love him so much but I had lived with him for two years and he treated me more like a room mate than a girlfriend. I tried to talk to him numerous times before it got that bad but he never wanted to talk to me. After I cheated on him I have be paying for my mistake. I have put up with smart comments and hurtful cold shoulders. I don't say anything about it because I know it is partially my fault. But now he is telling me that he is debating on staying with afriend for while.Whatshould I do
2007-07-04 09:23:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Girl! I am sorry to say so, but it is over, and it has been that since before you were cheating on him, who would not? It is so typical a man`s way of handling problems, be quiet and do the cold shoulder thingy. It is very childish way of handling a problem, instead of talking long before the whole thing was falling apart. I would just try to get as much as you can girl, I believe he had/have someone on the side himself, that is what his behavior before you were with another, indicates. But just relax and get some good help. Talk to friends and if you don`t have a good lawyer, get one. then go in for the kill, and take all you can. It sound hard, but the best way. good luck, peace and love from Norway
2007-07-04 09:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by thefallen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
do you think he is staying with a friend becaue of the cheating? or do you think he is just over the relationship? as scary as it may become because you may not want to hear the answers, you need to start asking him the tough questions. why does he want to leave? if it's the cheating, is there any thing that can be done to work it out? if he says no, then ask him why. keep pressing until you get an answer that you can deal with. ask him why he doesn't talk to you and tell you what;s in his head. why is he afraid to talk to you? it's hard to give you advice when i don't first know what's going on with him. since you have a daughter together, it's worth the investigation into anything that could help you two. but write down all the questions you need to ask him and ask him if he'll give you an hour of time to talk. at the very least he owes you his thoughts, and hopefully truthful ones.
2007-07-04 09:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing absolutely Nothing.If however you can Lift Kilimanjaro then you can resolve his problem.The problem he has is that he can not trust you!Does he have to look over his shoulder every time you guys have a problem?Please don't say you made a mistake and had an affair.You made a well thought of decision to take this deliberate step.It is okay though.The problem is you can't have your cake and eat it too.
Move on and start a new chapter in your life.You have paid enough for you infidelities actions.you do not have to go through life paying interest on a single violation.Now my dear,your are being violated.Another guy is going to worship you.
2007-07-04 09:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating usually only applies when you are married and yes you made a mistake but he chose to stay with you and you shouldn't have to pay for anything, thats where the forgiveness comes in. Like a previous said, help him pack but have your child support set up first. In the end it will be you and your child and you deserve someone who isn't going to throw things in your face like that and to be happy just like he does. The cold shoulder is different than him debating on leaving...his mind is made up. Let him go and plan for the worse and hope for the best. All you can do really..best wishes
2007-07-04 09:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by Nale 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You allow him to make the choice of staying or leaving. You hurt him, and he may not be able to deal with it of fix the pain. Not everyone is able to look at the one they love again with the same eyes after they have been cheated on. It is better to end the relationship now, if that's what he really wants, then to get married and have a horrible divorce maybe just months down the road. It is very apparent that he is hurting. You have it in balck and white. You don't want to see it. He has already left you, but his body is still in the house. Your relationship is already over, now allow him the ability to finalize it. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but if you take a good, long , hard look at it, you'll see it for yourself. Good Luck.
2007-07-04 09:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to make things right. Leave him alone for awhile. Sometimes a separation is good if it's a brief one. I am going through the same thing right now. Humble yourself and let God take over. Your daughter deserves to have a mother and father in her life that are together and in harmony. It takes time.
2007-07-04 09:29:28 · answer #6 · answered by Lucci 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's over, and maybe because of the baby he doesn't have the heart to end it. Do it for him. after what you put him thru, the last thing he needs is to carry the responsibility of leaving his child.
2007-07-04 09:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by mandy0230 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shower him with love and affection. Do everything to show him how much you appreciate him, including telling him, often. Stay up with him, watching TV. Curl up next to him on the couch. Eventually his cold shoulder will thaw.
2007-07-04 09:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by historybuff33 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
"I don't say anything about it because I know it is partially my fault"
...no, it was all your fault and you should pay for what you have done. perhaps he thought he could put it behind him, but he has realized he can not and wants to move on. i would respect that and move on as well.
2007-07-04 09:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by Christina V 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
stop pressuring him. tell him you would understand if he goes and stays with a friend. give him time and space to sort out his feelings. back off!
2007-07-04 09:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by britt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋