I've been separated for almost four years, and everyday my ex (he cheated on me) does more things to annoy me or hurt me. We have a 8 years old girl and that's the only reason I've tried to have a civilized relationship with him. I dont want to keep our wedding pictures (or any one from when we were dating), but I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing and wont regret it. Please help me. Thanks!!!
2007-07-04 06:33:25 · 33 answers · asked by CARTAGENA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I realize that you are very hurt and I understand your feelings. I would take all of those memories and place them securely away and out of your sight. These pictures represent a history and a part of your life that has made your life what it is. Someday when your daughter is grown I would hand them over to her for safe keeping. She may want them and they may mean something to her and her children someday. You never know how time and age can change someone and one day he may come to his senses and have a decent relationship with his daughter? I also went through a divorce feeling just like you 20 years ago. My 4 children at the time were distant from their father but now they relate as adults on a different level today. My oldest daughter age 38 secures our pictures from the past. She often thanks me for not getting rid of them because through those pictures she knows that at one time her parents had loved. So much at one time that she and her sister and brothers were created from it. Just tuck those pictures away out of sight because one day someone may look at them in a different light. Best wishes sweetie and may you find all the happiness you can in life.
2007-07-04 07:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not now or even in the next few years, but at some point you will regret it. He is your daughters father right? At some point she will want some pictures. Why take away from her? If nothing else, pack them up in a box with your little girls name on the outside and put them in storage. This amounts to the same thing. (out of sight-out of mind type thing) These pictures can be thrown out at any time. Why not let your daughter decide when she's older?
2007-07-04 06:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I totally understand and sympathise with your contempt for him, I would strongly advise against throwing them away. My parents hated each other after they divorced as a young girl and as an adult, I have always been so curious about how they were when they liked, or even loved, each other. The pictures of those days are all I have to remember that once upon a time, they did love each other, and that I was a product of their love and not their hatred for one another. Maybe you can just put them in a box for your daughter, tape it up, and just wait until she's old enough to take them. You don't ever have to take another peek at them, but for her sake it will be a very selfless thing to do. I'm sorry he turned out to be such a jerk. Good luck!
2007-07-04 06:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by edie08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the pictures away for your daughter. When i got my divorce i gave all the wedding pictures to my child's grandparents. I didn't want to see them ever again, but i knew that when my son got older he might. If you can ask your parents or a close friend to hold on to them. Then you don't have to look at them. My mother and father were not together when i was growing up and she threw away all the pictures of them together. I remember being a kid and wanting to see a picture of my mom and dad together. I wanted to see that at one time they were happy together. That is why i did what i did with my wedding pics. Just think about your little girl before you do anything, especially if she still sees her dad.
2007-07-04 07:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say stick them all in a box and put them up in the attic.
The reason I say this is because 40 years from now you will be able to look back on your life, the good and the bad. I feel you may regret disposing of them.
After you look at them again in 40 years, then if you dont' want to keep them any longer, toss them out. But I wouldn't dispose of them just because things are going quite rough at the moment.
It is after all, your life, and I have a feeling you will get some enjoyment looking at them again so many years later.
Good luck!
2007-07-04 06:44:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is OK but I think you may regret it some day. Destroy some if you need to get the anger out, put some in a box in the garage in case your daughter may want them some day. my parents had a bad marriage and divorced when I was 8. I have their wedding photo and I am very glad to have it, even though it was not a very happy marriage
2007-07-04 06:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is something you need to think long and hard about, yes, it may make you feel better at the time, but one day your kids although you and there father are seperated may want to see those pictures, what are you gonna tell them?..you tore them all up?...i seperated from my ex and got rid of all his stuff and pictures and i feel fine about it, but you have to decide if it's right for you ...maybe store them in a box and put them in a attic or closet for awhile and think about it some more, there just pictures, you don't have to look at them just keep them maybe just in case you don't wanna regret later doing that...so that's what i'd suggest
2007-07-04 06:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you separated or divorced. First of all, after 4 years of separation, it may be time for a divorce. Save the pictures for now - your daughter may want them when she is older. Doing things while you are still hurting is the wrong time.
2007-07-04 06:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by robin3988 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can do what ever you want with them. I have a question for you what did you or the ex do with the marriage license??
I have mine, and going through divorce after 30 years, when did you know it was time to destroy this piece of paper or did you or him hang on to it???
2007-07-04 06:40:09 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel! I got rid of all the pics after my divorce because of wanting to "rid myself of bad memories". Unfortunately, I didn't think far enough ahead to save them for my daughter who's life started out with a "mommy and a daddy". Just because my memories were bad, hers weren't.
Put them in an album and tuck the album away until your daughter is old enough to have them and take care of them. She will appreciate it more than you think
2007-07-04 06:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋