Married people: Why dont marriages last much these days?

Question

What goes wrong?

Is it society? People marrying for the wrong reasons? People letting go of themselves once they get married? Been together too long?

What is it?

Answer 1

Personally I feel the top reason is that people forget to treat each other the way they did that made them fall in love together in the first place.

I also think people get selfish. And it is different when the kids come along. Some people can't handle the responsibilities of that and just want what they want. They don't get that once the kids come, it's not about themselves anymore.

Answer 2

For those of us out there who really want to be married, life long companions, and actually follow through with our vows, i don't know. People these days are getting married to early without the life experience needed to be in a marriage. However, some work out. If people were trying to get married for the right reason, cheating would not occur. But it does, so apparently people are selfish, thinking of their own sexual appetite before their significant others feelings. Many things are wrong with marriage today. Societ holds it to a lower standard, there are divorce courts at almost every street corner, and no one left to say, just work it out, give it a chance. To many people just let go as soon as stuff gets tough. If i did that, i would have been divorced within a month of getting married and deployed. Rough times are bound to happen in marriages, but if people were willing to stick with it, through thick and thin, they probably would be happier in the long run then they will be being divorced. So i blame it on society, stupidity, and a lack of understanding the nature of life long companionship.

Answer 3

I think it's a combination of how easy it is to get married, how easy it is to get a divorce and the general break down of the family unit and society as a whole.

We live in a quick fix society and if it's too difficult, people will jump ship and leave. The sanctity of marriage isn't upheld anymore. You'd like to think people don't go into marraige thinking they'll just get a divorce if it doesnt' work out but sadly, people do. People don't want to work at the relationship, and marriage takes work. People fall 'out of love' and forget to realize that love is not the butterflies in your stomach when you see them, it's not a feeling you get, it's a decision you make every day to love a person. It's no trick loving someone at their best. Love is loving someone at their worst. Love is an unconditional decision you base on who you are, not how good they look or whatever.

I'm conservative, old fashioned, a religious zealot, whatever you want to call me. I think the only way for a marriage to last in these days is for it to have a solid foundation in Christ. When the two entering into the marriage have Christ as their foundation and they make a commitment to each other and to God, a three cord strand is not easily broken. It has to go both ways though. If only one has the relationship and they go in unequally yolked, it is a long hard road ahead of them.

Answer 4

You've been talking to the wrong people.....last night a question about marriage was answered by about 10 people all of whom had been married more than 10 years.

Marriage is 100% what the people involved make it....if you want the marriage to last and be happy for both people....you have to do some homework "before" you get married" and realize marriage is like a garden if you don't feed it and water it regularaly it will turn to weeds and die.

Answer 5

In many cases it is a matter of society and our throw away mentality. If something doesn't go the way we want it to, we trade it in, or sell it off, or throw it away. Many people enter marriages to lightly they have the idea in the back of thier minds that if it doesn't work out they can always get a divorce. Money is a big issue to cause problems, and also a lack of time to spend together. Many are so busy making money to pay for housing, children etc, that they never have time for each other anymore, and lose sight of why they married to begin with.

Answer 6

That's what I ask myself.I guess most of the people get married without getting mentally prepared.When a person wants to get married to someone,the person needs to think that a marriage is not always about kissing or feeling butterflies in their stomach or something like that,its a lot more than that.You are gonna live with this person the rest of your life,and that's something that is not easy at all,you get to share everything with this person and this person will be involve in everything in your life.What I'm tying to say is that,you need to be sure about being with this person all your life,you need to picture yourself with this person your whole life,not just get married because of an illusion.Sometimes we dreamers need to let go off that,because life is not a adventure or something like that.You need to have in your mind that you are gonna have arguments in your marriage,but always think that love goes first then anything.

Answer 7

I think 1 reason would be getting married too young.You have to have a chance to find out who you are. I also think some people are not willing to get tough when the going gets tough ~ they just bail.
I've been married 16 years & counting!!

Answer 8

society is a big word. its more of a combination of one's family upbringing & people marrying for the wrong that'll determine why marriages don't work. i've learn that it comes to 4 things. there must be

trust
honest
respect
chemistry

one must look at marriage as a business--in order to succeed both people must grow together--mentally, spiritually, & financially.

people letting themselves go once they're married is a sign that they don't take care of their body. & if they don't take care of themselves, how can they take care of others.

Answer 9

Too many people let their marriage turn into what it may, instead of being the ones in control of it.

When you say your vows you really are making a public declaration of your commitment to one another and that you intend to see it through. I think some people don't really mean 'for better or for worse'. Its more 'for better or until things get difficult, then I'm outta here'

I guess what it comes down to with marriage is if you aren't prepared to give it everything you've got in order to 'see it through' you will likely fail.

Answer 10

i think of the tale is tousled... yet once you seem at it she did no longer have her criminal papers at the same time and then right now she gets married?? of direction she is going to be sooo in love with the guy she married! She's probable being watched! No yet heavily who's familiar with if her marriage will final the entire difficulty purely sucks... it ought to final it surely relies upon on how thyey fairly are at the same time or if shes purely making use of him as a value tag till her papers are so as and her boyfriend comes over from Ukraine