Friend just started smoking... please help me help her!?

Question

She is 18 so it's not like there's anything illegal about it, but I almost wish there were.

She's only smoked one pack, she said, and I believe her on that. But I also believe that she is underestimating the importance of this decision. She says I'm over-reacting, that it's just one pack. But there is still a lot of toxic stuff in that single pack.

Her grandfather almost died due to smoking-related causes, and she is a very good biology student, so she definitely knows all of the crap that smoking can cause.

She smells terrible and looks stupid when she smokes, and no one wants to hang around her. But she says that she just wanted to try it, and that it's not about peer pressure or looking cool, just about trying the forbidden fruit.

How can I convince her that this fruit is "forbidden" for a reason? She is otherwise very mature, and I want to treat her like an adult, but it is so frustrating to think that she might die from being too stubborn to stop smoking!

Answer 1

Try telling her the same way you just told us. Its not going to matter though because only she can make herself quit if she wants to. Just remember you're not her mother. And even if you were, there's nothing you can do about it since she's 18.

Answer 2

Like you said, she is 18 and mature...and makes her own decisions. She knows the consequences of smoking with her grandfather having lung disease. Sounds just like me when I was 18...but I never quit.

The more a person smokes, the less their taste buds work, the harder it is to breathe when working out...and the longer you smoke, the harder it is to quit.

Now...she had the one pack...you didn't say if she went and got more. If she was only curious...and the one pack was it...then there is no problem...she won't smoke again.

I watched my grandmother pass on from complications of smoking: Emphysema, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, even colon cancer. Lung cancer is an extremely painful and scary way to pass on...yet that didn't motivate me to quit and stay quit.

Unfortunately, you can talk to her until you are blue in the face. You may need to practice some tough love...do not hang with her while she is smoking..and tell her the reason. Let her know you care for her as a friend, but just cannot be around her when she lights up.

Ultimately, it is your friend's decision...and speaking as a smoker...no one can make you stop...it has to be the smoker's decision and motivation to keep from grabbing that Marlboro and a lighter. Just be supportive when she does seriously attempt to quit...she will be grouchy the longer she smokes before attempting to quit.

Answer 3

You can't control her, or fix her. If she wants to smoke -- and once you get hooked, which happens really quickly with nicotine, then you certainly think you want to -- then you can't make her stop. You can refuse to be around her when she does, perhaps; after all, you don't want to be breathing the nasty stuff, or smelling bad, too. But unless you want to cut her out of your life entirely (and not trying to control her with threats of that, either: addicts are far too likely to go with the addiction instead of the friend) then there's nothing much else you can really do.

Answer 4

Well all that i can tell you is to talk to your friend, not like a baby but as an adult explain to her the death causes of somking. explain that people have died from smoking. Tell her that she is not only hurting herself but she is hurting the people she loves.Tell her how she looks tell her how she smells Tell her that nobody exept you wants to hang out with her because of her smoking issue. Tell her that as soon as she picked up that 1 ciggarette ahe would want more and more and her body is gonna start wanting more and more!! well i hope i helped. thanx

Answer 5

Tell her , YES it does make on look cool and grown up UNTIL they get addicted and run out.Then they have to go around BEGGING for a smoke if they are broke.Ask her to name 10 people who have been smoking for a minimum of 5 years who say they are GLAD they started smoking and would recommend it to anyone.Then tell her if her biological make up is anything like her grandpa's what he died from is what she has to look forward to.

Answer 6

1.) remind her that smoking can kill you
2.) remind her that her smoking can hurt others
3.) Show her a picture of a cancerous lung
http://www.stop-smoking-in-1-hour.co.uk/images/dirty_lung1_hr.jpg>> im REALLY sorry!
4.) Show her a picture of a hairy tounge
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39201000/jpg/_39201864_smokedentisttwo203.jpg
5.) tell her thats what can happen to her!!!
6.) Tell her that she knows she shouldnt smoke and if she does you wont hang around her!
7.) remind her of her grandfather!
8.) GOOD LUCK!!!

oh yeah, tell her that she is gonna have trouble getting a date if she smells bad!!!! no one will wanna date her!

Answer 7

keep doing what you are doing. Tell her that you don't like it and maybe she will listen. Other than that there really isn't anything else you can do. She probably has smoked more than 1 pack if she knows you don't approve of it ;she probably lied to you to make it seem like she doesn't do it as often.

Answer 8

Tell her she doesn't look cool or even attractive when she smokes.

Tell her how much she stinks.

Leave her when she lights up. If she asks you why you did that, tell her that its disgusting and you won't be around that crap.

Let her know that her clothes smell like crap as well.

Answer 9

Tell her you would stop being her friend if she continues to smoke. If your friendship means to her, she will stop smoking. On the other hand if you don't nag her too much, she may stop it. She probably made it an ego point. She will stop on her own, not coz u tell her to. Good luck!

Answer 10

you could tell her that the smoke isn't helping global worming,or you could tell that shes your Friend and you don't want her to smoke because its addictive.Right now she said that shes just smoking one pake of them,but eventual it will be 2 then 3 then 4 then 5 and on.you should tell her that to.