Is this a signal of infidelity?

Question

If you found an affectionate e-mail from your wife to one of her ex-boyfriends that she had signed off "you will always be in my thoughts, love xxx"

Answer 1

Open your eyes, it's all right there in front of you :(

Sorry so say, but it sounds like there were some feelings involved. That doesn't mean she acted on them, in fact she very well may not have and that's why "you'll always be in my thoughts", is how she ended it.

Confront her with the e-mail, without accusing her of anything, and ask her if she can explain what it meant.
I think you'll know by her reaction too.

Good luck and I'm hoping it all works out well for you.

Answer 2

Not necessarily. The ex may have just been representative of some good memories for her. But why is she maintaining a dialog with an ex unless he is at least still considered some kind of friend to her? The only troubling part as you described the e-mail is that she ended it with xxx(kisses). May be just a habit, I don't know.

Answer 3

It defiantly sounds like your wife is still fond of her ex, could be just friendship. I think if your wife was interested in an affair she would have been more secretive and deleted her mail. I understand how you feel, might be a good idea to discuss this with her and ask her that if the boot was on the other foot how would she feel?

Answer 4

Not necessarily. If there are other things going on in your marriage that you are concerned about, then maybe. What has probably happened is that he e-mailed her with some mention of the past and how she signed the e-mail was just habit. I would just be aware and leave it at that. If you see any other telltale signs of infidelity, talk to her. See what she is thinking.

Answer 5

I disagree. i am a very considerate person and writing such things does not mean she's in love with someone else, it's a beautiful ending to a letter she's sent someone who may have been suicidal?
I say nice things to people i don't even like, not because i'm false, but because i want them to feel good about themselves.
Don't feel so insecure. you'll know she loves you by the way she responds to touch, kissing if she's all of a sudden changing then have a nice quiet talk. it's NEVER too late to try and sort things out. if you love her be gentle and DON'T go right in attacking/accusing be considerate - GOOD LUCK :-)

Answer 6

I feel its odd, myself been dealing with that, as me, I feel if you email someone that close wether ex or not, if its just talk thats different as long as you all are open with that, but in the same sense signing off or opening a email, with your always in my thoughts or something thats over a boundry that makes me feel very comfortable, why would she need someone else in her thoughts but you, although if nothing sexually is going on, I would be a big damper to, it, reverse it to her, im sure she would not like you doing that right.

Answer 7

XXX is for hugs. Now had she put OOO then yes she's smooching him.
What are you doing snooping in her email? Lack of trust? Just come out and ask her but dont' bring up the email. Talk about a fight on your hands.
I read somewhere once............if you suspect your spouse of cheating 95% were cheating. Good Luck

Answer 8

Sorry mate but the answer's YES

or
to give her the benefit of the doubt:
she may be one of those caring persons and her ex-bf may be passing through some emotional stress or thingys.

I wouldn't be relaxed about it though :/

Cheers and good luck mate

Answer 9

Um................. yeah........... that's not a good sign.

Is this a recent boyfriend? Like the guy right before you?

Personally, I'd confront her on it. Do some investigation. I'd rather have it out in the open rather than wondering what was going on, you know? Seems to me like she's still got some strong feelings for this other guy.

Good luck, bro

Answer 10

Maybe, maybe not. You have to remember, we sometimes have a soft spot in our hearts for past relationships, so maybe this is all it is. Without knowing the content of the letter its really hard to tell. You really need to have a talk with her about it.